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Featured Why many people here use word girlfriend/boyfriend?

Discussion in 'General Theology' started by Goodhuman, Jan 14, 2020.

  1. Goodhuman

    Goodhuman New Member

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    Why many people here use word girlfriend/boyfriend?
    We must live according to bible. Where in bible is used word girlfriend/boyfriend?
    Is this not fornication? Fornication means to have sexual activity without being married to the human. Kiss is fornication too, because it is sexual activity. What do you think?
     
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  2. theoneandonlypencil

    theoneandonlypencil Curb your enlightenment :^)

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    Show me in the bible where it says kissing is fornication.
     
  3. Goodhuman

    Goodhuman New Member

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    Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
     
  4. Mathetes66

    Mathetes66 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    You first mention that we must live according to the Bible. That is good. However, one must understand & know what the Bible teaches correctly, if we are to teach it to others as you are doing. Your definition of fornication is not what the Bible calls fornication. You describe kissing as fornication. Is the kiss of a mother to her child fornication? Of course not.

    Scripture says we are to greet one another as Christians with a holy kiss.

    I Thess 5:26 Greet all God's people (the brethren) with a holy kiss.

    Romans 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send you greetings.

    I Cor 16:21 All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.

    2 Cor 13:11-13 Finally, brothers, rejoice! Aim for perfect harmony, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love & peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints send you greetings.

    I Peter 5:14 Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to you all who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

    One can 'touch' someone that can cause passion to flame up. This is called 'defrauding' or 'overreaching' as opposed to actual sexual intercourse or thoughts committing fornication in the mind.

    But there is a way that is wonderful between what we call a boyfriend or girlfriend or friends between a man & a woman. The key is on FRIEND. Scripture describes this as follows:

    Proverbs 30:18-20 There are three things TOO WONDERFUL for me, four that I cannot understand: the way an eagle flies in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas AND the way of a man with a young woman (maiden).

    I Tim 5:1-3 Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother & treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.

    2 Thessalonians 4:3-8 For it is God’s will that you should be holy: You must abstain from fornication; each of you must know how to control his own body in holiness & honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God; not to go beyond & to defraud (overreach) his brother in the matter, because the Lord is avenging concerning all these things, just as also we told you before & thoroughly warned. For God has not called us to impurity, but to holiness.

    Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all & the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge fornicators & adulterers.

    I hope these verses are helpful to you in rightly discerning & dividing the word of truth. Our desires should be pure & want people, both male & female to grow in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ & grow in maturity in the Lord, becoming more & more like Jesus.
     
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  5. ewq1938

    ewq1938 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I think men used to kiss men and it wasn't wrong in the biblical sense.

    Rom_16:16 Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.
    1Co_16:20 All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.
    2Co_13:12 Greet one another with an holy kiss.
    1Th_5:26 Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss.
    1Pe_5:14 Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.
     
  6. theoneandonlypencil

    theoneandonlypencil Curb your enlightenment :^)

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    Adultery is lusting after another man's wife(think along the lines of 'thou shalt not cover the neighbor's wife). Even then, there's arguably a difference between intentional lusting and natural physical attraction.

    Furthermore, that verse says nothing about kissing. Try again.
     
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  7. Goodhuman

    Goodhuman New Member

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    Here is meant lust. Lust means kissing with lust, too.
    Adultery is also fornication. Because the ten commandments say everything we must not do: Thou shalt not commit adultery. Also means to not commit fornication.
     
  8. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

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    If you believe kissing while unmarried will cause you to sin then abstain. Don’t expect others to embrace your convictions.

    ~Bella
     
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  9. GaveMeJoy

    GaveMeJoy Active Member

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    I think I can say quite confidently that none of the verses you cited are referring to kissing between romantic partners.

    I agree with you that we must read the scriptures in context. The culture in bible times used social kisses as greetings and signs of affection, which is what those verses are referring to. Similar to how Italians might kiss each other.
    This is not how romantic partners typically kiss each other in our culture.

    If romantic partners kissed each other on the lips in the New Testament culture it would be a huge shame on the family, could result in breaking off of a betrothal and would be a massive over step against the honor of the woman. Why? Because of culture? Because “they did things differently but our society isn’t like that?” No, because it’s possibly sinful and certainly risky and unnecessary.

    You can’t ask someone to say “show me somewhere in the Bible where it says kissing is a sin” and ask for a proof text when the verses that talk about sexual immorality and impurity would have been >clearly< understood to mean no kissing (modern kissing on the lips between romantic partners) by ALL of the NT authors and ALL of the people in ALL of the churches who read ALL of the letters.

    Before you start thinking of a response, ask yourself if you actually asked Paul, directly, right now, if romantic partners who followed Christ should kiss on the lips, what would he say? Paul wrote many of the epistles, should we say that what he thought was confined to his culture and we are free to do more now because we come from a culture that doesn’t take purity seriously and a Christian culture that accepts disrespectful Behavior between couples?

    Granted the original poster might not have articulated the point Super clearly or given many verses to support, I see a similar response in Christianity and on this forum when someone stands up for abstaining from kissing and placing a high premium on respecting each other as brothers and sisters.

    I think the question shouldn’t be “is it a sin to kiss.” This mentality missed the mark.

    The question should be, am I showing Christ to my sister in the Lord by engaging in romantic kissing outside of marriage? If so, what is the purpose, who am I pleasing and gratifying?

    Obviously legalism can ruin anything, and one can not kiss for the wrong reasons, but that doesn’t prove anything.


    It’s also stealing from your SPOUSE. You steal something special from your spouse when you kiss another person romantically. I certainly didn’t enjoy telling my future wife the names of all the women I kissed. Was it “worth it” to kiss the other women before I met my wife? But wait, it wasn’t a sin right? Was I glad I did it? Please...

    it doesn’t matter, no one will listen to me and so many people will give away special things reserved for their wife, will fall into temptation, will start marriages rocky because they allow their culture to weaken the scripture and hide behind holy kiss verses and “freedom in Christ” platitudes.

    I have personal reasons that make this issue more sensitive for me regarding my wife which is why this post is so long LOL I can admit that a Christian couple can probably kiss lust free (most of the time) but do we really want to make that the standard....
     
  10. GaveMeJoy

    GaveMeJoy Active Member

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    Boyfriend/girlfriend are words Christians use that indicate a monogamous relationship. Those terms do not carry any requirement for physical intimacy of any kind and are appropriate to use in my opinion.
     
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  11. GaveMeJoy

    GaveMeJoy Active Member

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    How about you try most of the New Testament verses on impurity and immorality.

    All of the NT authors and all of the Christians in the churches who read the epistles would have understood romantic kissing between partners to be impure and sinful. So basically any verse that talks about sexual impurity includes that implication.


    You can ignore it and say “it was their culture” if you want, but I mean, you asked for verses. 1 cor 6:18, Heb 13:4, definitely Gal 5:19. The authors and recipients of all of these epistles would have understood kissing between romantic kissing would be impurity.
     
  12. Lost4words

    Lost4words In reality, an old dog! Supporter

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    Rubbish. Pure and simple
     
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  13. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

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    The Bible does not say we must live like the people in scripture did.
    Should we feed non-christians to the lions like scripture suggests?
    Should we stone people for cheating on their spouse?
     
  14. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Off-topic, I know, ... but where ???
     
  15. grasping the after wind

    grasping the after wind That's grasping after the wind

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    I think you are wrong to say that I have fornicated with my mother, father, aunt, uncle, children and grand children. I have kissed every one of them.
     
  16. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Genesis 27:26
    Then his father Isaac said to him, “Please come close and kiss me, my son.”

    Genesis 29:13
    So when Laban heard the news of Jacob his sister’s son, he ran to meet him, and embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Then he related to Laban all these things.

    Genesis 48:10
    Now the eyes of Israel were so dim from age that he could not see. Then Joseph brought them close to him, and he kissed them and embraced them.

    Matthew 26:49
    Immediately Judas went to Jesus and said, “Hail, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.

    Luke 15:20
    So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

    Acts 20:37
    And they began to weep aloud and embraced Paul, and repeatedly kissed him,

    Romans 16:16
    Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.

    So a kiss is sexual fornication? Prove it in the light of these scriptures.

    1 Corinthians 16:20
    All the brethren greet you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

    2 Corinthians 13:12
    Greet one another with a holy kiss.

    1 Thessalonians 5:26
    Greet all the brethren with a holy kiss.

    1 Peter 5:14
    Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace be to you all who are in Christ.

    Prove how a kiss is fornication given the above bible verses.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
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  17. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    A grossly misunderstood passage.

    First off - "woman" indicates a married female. There are different words for virgin or female child. So the object of this "lust" has to be a married woman - married to someone OTHER than the "luster."

    Secondly - the word translated "lust" here - epithumeo - is a neutral word meaning a strong desire. Luke uses it twice (both verb and noun forms) to describe our Lord's wish to eat the Last Supper.

    Luke 22:15
    And He said to them, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer;​

    The bolded part is more literally rendered (if you use "lust" for epithumeo) "... with lust i have lusted to eat ..."

    That word is also used in the LXX to translate "covet" as in "Thou shalt not covet ..." It is translated as covet in several of Paul's letters. Given the context of the biblical commands and the rabbinic extensions our Lord is addressing, covet would have been a better choice of wording in Matt 5 as well. IMO.

    To covet something is to desire something someone else has so bad you consider stealing it or finding some way to make it your own. IOW it is a LOT more than just sexual or romantic desire.
     
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  18. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Does it? Prove that scripturally.
    Adultery is PART of fornication. But adultery is not properly understood. It is not just any sexual sin - rather it is specifically a violation of an existing marriage covenant by the wife having sex with a man who is NOT her husband. (and not the other way around)

    That we are not to commit fornication (gr: pornia) is commanded; but NOT in the 10 commandments. As Pornia [fornication] was used in the Greek speaking Jewish diaspora communities, it referred to anything that violated the OT sexual regulations, including a husband and wife having sex during her period.
     
  19. Kenny'sID

    Kenny'sID Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Hopefully, you will end up convinced that what you are calling kissing is a bit fanatical/over the line. Sure it could lead to worse, but who are we to say it will?

    BF and GF don't necessarily mean they are having sex. In it's purest, and original form the term itself says what it means...friends. and though these days it can mean more, I wouldn't just assume it does.
     
  20. At Your Footstool

    At Your Footstool Cool people hang with Christ Supporter

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    What terms does the bible use in place of Girlfriend/boyfriend? I don't feel it's advisable to kiss during courtship either ( just an opinion), as it might end up leading to all sorts.. It's the idea behind isn't it? Are we talking just a brotherly sisterly kind of peck or is it something a lot more than that? Can one give their boyfriend/girlfriend an ordinary kiss and end there?! I think this is what we should be asking ourselves.
     
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