Why isnt God using me?

[Far Side Of the Moon]

This is something I've been thinking about. I've been saved for 6 years ...but I had a bad church experience ..however at least while I was there I was able to do somethings like help at a soup kitchen and plan our next outreach stuff..but I left bc of the disrespect... Sometimes I just want to crawl back because even though I wasn't being treated right..at least I was being useful and doing something. I loved doing that and it gave my life meaning...

Now I'm just sitting here... ( no I cat volunteer or anything until I get my license which is what I'm working on) like I don't really pray...because its just me praying and I don't hear God at all...I just wonder why? Why the silence...why am I not being used? Why am I just sitting here?

It would be perfect for me to devout my life to God bc I have no husband or friends to get in the way ( I would be a nun but I don't like closed spaces and I know that's not my calling) but God doesn't speak back, and I don't know why.... I'm willing... But I'm starting to lose hope....

And if you're wondering yes, I've been baptised in water and the holy spirit...so I don't know why God is so far away and so behind the scenes in my lifw,,, I justdont know...

It makes me feel bad and it makes me wonder if he likes me at all ...old just feeling down.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Albion]

Hello, Far Side. Your question is heard often, and I don't know if there's a clearcut answer to it. I do think, however, that God takes his time with a lot of these things whereas we are naturally impatient.

I am confident that what you are hoping for will happen, that he has plans for you; but he may just have something else in mind before that happens. And sometimes we do have a powerful effect upon others around us without even realizing it.

Because you are dedicated to living the Christian lifestyle at present, you can be sure that the light you shine is a Godly one.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

It can be something as simple as taking care of your family or putting in extra effort at work. Back in the Biblical days, even the honest work of a slave is considered worthy of God's attention. You don't have to be an charismatic evangelist or a rich philanthropist to serve God. Just do whatever you're good at for His glory and He will be pleased with you.

That's the thinng, I don't feel anything and people like my horrible aunt she feels gods presence all the time even though she's dead wrong and the other who is stingy with money feels gods presence and talks to him more than I do... I feel I'm doing something wrong because of this I don't read my bible much because it doesn't seem fair.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Hello, Far Side. Your question is heard often, and I don't know if there's a clearcut answer to it. I do think, however, that God takes his time with a lot of these things whereas we are naturally impatient.

I am confident that what you are hoping for will happen, that he has plans for you; but he may just have something else in mind before that happens. And sometimes we do have a powerful effect upon others around us without even realizing it.

Because you are dedicated to living the Christian lifestyle at present, you can be sure that the light you shine is a Godly one.

Yeah but I don't know. I feel my family is doing well with or without me..my mom and dad are getting back on lovey dovey terms which is so weird for me because for years they've been fighting and I was my moms comforter and go to person to talk to and we'd always go out..now my dad has taken that role. I know its silly to feel jealous or odd because I'm 25 but I do.,.I mean I'm happy but I still feel sad, I feel alone. My mom has dad , my brothers have each other and I have no one. I'm truly alone now and its kind of scary...thinking about it makes me want to cry.... God doesn't respond back to my prayers or let me feel his presence ... Idk why, I could really use it.,, I just feel alone..and words in a book won't be enough for me .

I don't know what to do. Its all making me a bit panicky.

I'm really depressed and sad...my life means nothing..no one knows I exist., I have no real friends, I never experienced anything amazing like being loved by someone or gods presence...I've been alone too long. I just see no point in living if I can't 1) make meaningful connections in real life or 2) have a rich inner spiritual life with God in where he talks back and its not me just trying to reach out after God...

I feel ignored and invisible by both people ,my family and God...this is the worst feeling...,I don't know why I'm still here

I just want to put an end to my hollow life.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

It can be something as simple as taking care of your family or putting in extra effort at work. Back in the Biblical days, even the honest work of a slave is considered worthy of God's attention. You don't have to be an charismatic evangelist or a rich philanthropist to serve God. Just do whatever you're good at for His glory and He will be pleased with you.

That's true, not everyone is used in grandways...and that's fine with me if I'm not. If just like to bear some fruit.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Exactly. Service to God is like the air force. Everyone wants to be the pilot but realistically, only a few are truly qualified for it. However, for the air force to truly function, there needs to be other people doing other jobs. There are people needed to repair the planes. There are people needed to be in the control tower. There are people needed to do the paperwork. Sure, the pilot job gets the most glory but the air force is so much more than that.

You want to bear some fruit? Go to the prayer forums and start praying for people. It's petitioning God to help others and God loves it when people pray to Him, enough to even reward it in Heaven. There are many people requesting prayers because it not only gets God to help them but it also gives them comfort knowing that people out there care for their well being enough to ask God to help them. Just today I made a prayer request in the Singles forums for my mental state. I started to fall back to my bitterness towards God and needed others to pray for me to get me back on track. Two people have told me that I'm in their prayers and it has brought me comfort.

It's simple but it can do wonderful things for others mental and spiritual health.

Yeah , you know what....ill try doing that...because at least that way my life will have some sort of meaning. Hopefully

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Albion]

I feel alone. My mom has dad , my brothers have each other and I have no one. I'm truly alone now and its kind of scary...thinking about it makes me want to cry.... God doesn't respond back to my prayers or let me feel his presence ... Idk why, I could really use it.,, I just feel alone..and words in a book won't be enough for me .

I don't know what to do. Its all making me a bit panicky.

I'm going to offer a personal opinion here. I don't pretend that it's a sure fire answer to what you've outlined or that it's what everyone would agree with. I've lived a lot longer than you have, and I've finally learned a few things that seemed to escape me when I was younger. In a way, things seem to come full circle after awhile and we get a second chance to evaluate them.

What I wish I could say to younger people in general who are going through difficulties that seem to overwhelm them is this: do not give up and do not stand still. Time is on your side if you take stock of what the problem is and then decide how best to solve it. Or even what might solve it. And if that doesn't work, do something else.

You asked why God seems not to be doing anything with you, but part of the problem may be that he can't do much with any of us if we are simply sitting and waiting for something to happen to us. I believe that he works though our life's experiences, and if so, who's to say that interacting with new people in new situations or even in new places is NOT the thing that opens the doors to the possibilities for the kind of service that you are wanting to perform for Him?

 

[Deadworm]

Far Side Of the Moon: "This is something I've been thinking about. I've been saved for 6 years ...but I had a bad church experience ..however at least while I was there I was able to do somethings like help at a soup kitchen and plan our next outreach stuff..but I left bc of the disrespect..."

There are many toxic church people and it sounds like you have been victimized by some. Why not become a "church hopper?" Try different churches of various denominations and see how welcome you feel, how affirming the people are, and how well you fit into their needs. When you find the right church for you, it will feel like that church chose you rather than vice versa. Don't fall into the trap of considering only churches with which your beliefs agree 100%. It is far more important to find the church that best helps you come alive spiritually. Your quest for the right church will, of course, be much easier when you get your driver's license.

"I don't really pray...because its just me praying and I don't hear God at all..."
Hudson Taylor was one of the most effective missionaries of the modern era and had phenomenal success (despite numerable trials, losses, and disappointments) as the founder of the China Inland Mission. He was once asked about the key to his great success and he replied, "I learned that I could receive my greatest answers to prayer when my heart felt like wood." You are going through what John of the Cross described as "the Dark Night of the Soul" and it might profit you to google that phrase to gain insights into what you are experiencing. I'm confident that God wants you to construe your sense of being abandoned by God as a call to intensify your longing for more of His presence. It is the quality and intensity of your sustained longing that transforms us spiritually, not trying to believe or become a do-gooder.

Part of your quest for the right church should be a quest for the church with the most effective prayer group for you to attend. I have been meeting with a small prayer group for a few years now and we experience all sorts of miracles and answers to our prayers. In the right group, you can have a similar experience and say "goodbye" to the problem of imagining you can't hear God. Such a prayer group is likely help you develop the best friendships you've ever had.

 

[Neogaia777]

This is something I've been thinking about. I've been saved for 6 years ...but I had a bad church experience ..however at least while I was there I was able to do somethings like help at a soup kitchen and plan our next outreach stuff..but I left bc of the disrespect... Sometimes I just want to crawl back because even though I wasn't being treated right..at least I was being useful and doing something. I loved doing that and it gave my life meaning...

Now I'm just sitting here... ( no I cat volunteer or anything until I get my license which is what I'm working on) like I don't really pray...because its just me praying and I don't hear God at all...I just wonder why? Why the silence...why am I not being used? Why am I just sitting here?

It would be perfect for me to devout my life to God bc I have no husband or friends to get in the way ( I would be a nun but I don't like closed spaces and I know that's not my calling) but God doesn't speak back, and I don't know why.... I'm willing... But I'm starting to lose hope....

And if you're wondering yes, I've been baptised in water and the holy spirit...so I don't know why God is so far away and so behind the scenes in my lifw,,, I justdont know...

It makes me feel bad and it makes me wonder if he likes me at all ...old just feeling down.

Why don't you try different churches...?

There's always something and there is always plenty to and/or be done, surely you can find something, there is so much need out there... I find that I cannot do enough, in my case... Not all that I would want to anyway...

As Far as hearing God goes, Talk to him and don't shut yourself up from talking to him about anything and everything, and make a habit of this and don't shut yourself off from this, even when you don't "seem to" be getting or hearing anything back, or he won't talk to you (regularly) if you don't talk to him...

He could be testing you to see if you will do this, or, and I suspect this is really "why"... You don't have "ears to hear" cause their not "trained" to be "tuned into" "hearing" him...

I said "seem to" be hearing from him because of this... One of the ways God speaks to me is through a "feeling" and unction, a thought or words "rising" or bubbling up from "within" me, so that, at first, I only thought it was me, having a thought, and then me, expressing another thought in response, when, really, it was him, I just didn't know it...

It's a "feeling" combined with a "thought" that comes up from within me, that is easily mistaken for just being me, if I wasn't trained to know it is actually him...

Now, he doesn't talk all the time, like you should be doing with him, cause he doesn't waste words, but he does speak from within, and it's not an audible voice in this case, but a feeling that is also a thought, that is also like and instinct or intuition that rises up, and flows from within you, the depths of you... This requires that you get "in touch" with the depths inside your own self, or you won't be able to, your "spiritual" ears will not be trained or attuned to him deep within you...

The duality in us, is not our own duality, but one is us, and one is God, were just not used to that being so... One of my favorite Star Trek episodes, is where counselor Troi is trying to explain why she didn't detect something with her empathic abilites in an alien species, she said "Well, at first, I thought it was just the same sense of duality we Betaziods sense in all you humans..." And Picard said "What do you mean...?" And she said "Well, when you humans stop to ask yourself a question (and you get an answer) "who" are you talking to...?"

The answer to that question is that it is really God, or the H.S. that is also God, within us that is "this" that Troi is talking about... Were just not used to, accustomed to, or "trained" in it...

Increasing your awareness of this and developing your relationship with this is how you get and develop "ears to hear" spiritual ears to hear God...

Hope that helps,

God Bless!

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I'm going to offer a personal opinion here. I don't pretend that it's a sure fire answer to what you've outlined or that it's what everyone would agree with. I've lived a lot longer than you have, and I've finally learned a few things that seemed unsolvable when I was younger--or at least bewildering. Things seem to come full circle in a way.

What I wish I could say to younger people in general who are going through difficulties that seem to overwhelm them is this: do not give up and do not stand still. Time is on your side if you take stock of what the problem is and then decide how best to solve it. And if that doesn't work, do something else.

You asked why God seems not to be doing anything with you, but part of the problem may be that he can't do much with any of us if we are simply sitting and waiting for something to happen to us. I believe that he works though our life's experiences, and if so, who's to say that interacting with new people in new situations or even in new places is NOT what opens the doors to the possibilities for the kind of service that you are wanting to perform for Him?

Im not sitting and waiting at my old church I planned the outreach outings. At my former college I talked to people and actually made friends but since I was kicked out because of financial issues we lost contact, and I actually got a job at waffle house,. I still have the sheet for my times to oreintate....but I couldn't make it because we have one busted car and my mom needed it to go to work and the orientatiation site was too far out....so I couldn't take the job...

So as you can see, I'm trying...

As I recall all this....it makes me Depressed ...like nothing ever works for me ...like maybe its a sign I should just end it -_-

 

[EmmaCat]

When I first came here, I was scared and lonely, and I got some awesome advice from the Chaplains and many of the blessed staff.

I started a blog, people joined in, I became more comfortable, and I started reaching out to people by praying for them. Then miracles started to happen -- because good people were praying for me, of all people! I couldn't believe it!

Sometimes it takes a leap of faith, and please read your Bible a little more. Psalms are my favorite. And if you need to talk, PM me or any of the other Angels or Ambassadors or members or staff you like.

I'm praying for you!

All good things
Emmy

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Why don't you try different churches...?

There's always something and there is always plenty to and/or be done, surely you can find something, there is so much need out there... I find that I cannot do enough, in my case... Not all that I would want to anyway...

As Far as hearing God goes, Talk to him and don't shut yourself up from talking to him about anything and everything, and make a habit of this and don't shut yourself off from this, even when you don't "seem to" be getting or hearing anything back, or he won't talk to you (regularly) if you don't talk to him...

He could be testing you to see if you will do this, or, and I suspect this is really "why"... You don't have "ears to hear" cause their not "trained" to be "tuned into" "hearing" him...

I said "seem to" be hearing from him because of this... One of the ways God speaks to me is through a "feeling" and unction, a thought or words "rising" or bubbling up from "within" me, so that, at first, I only thought it was me, having a thought, and then me, expressing another thought in response, when, really, it was him, I just didn't know it...

It's a "feeling" combined with a "thought" that comes up from within me, that is easily mistaken for just being me, if I wasn't trained to know it is actually him...

Now, he doesn't talk all the time, like you should be doing with him, cause he doesn't waste words, but he does speak from within, and it's not an audible voice in this case, but a feeling that is also a thought, that is also like and instinct or intuition that rises up, and flows from within you, the depths of you... This requires that you get "in touch" with the depths inside your own self, or you won't be able to, your "spiritual" ears will not be trained or attuned to him deep within you...

The duality in us, is not our own duality, but one is us, and one is God, were just not used to that being so... One of my favorite Star Trek episodes, is where counselor Troi is trying to explain why she didn't detect something with her empathic abilites in an alien species, she said "Well, at first, I thought it was just the same sense of duality we Betaziods sense in all you humans..." And Picard said "What do you mean...?" And she said "Well, when you humans stop to ask yourself a question (and you get an answer) "who" are you talking to...?"

The answer to that question is that it is really God, or the H.S. that is also God, within us that is "this" that Troi is talking about... Were just not used to, accustomed to, or "trained" in it...

Increasing your awareness of this and developing your relationship with this is how you get and develop "ears to hear" spiritual ears to hear God...

Hope that helps,

God Bless!

You're right I'm not trained to hear god..you are spot on about that. Its hard to keep talking to god when there's no answer coming back.... It just lowers your morale

 

[Neogaia777]

You're right I'm not trained to hear god..you are spot on about that. Its hard to keep talking to god when there's no answer coming back.... It just lowers your morale

Did/does/will anything I said maybe help you with that? (I hope)...? It is how the H.S. speaks, in my experience...

God Bless!

 

[EmmaCat]

Im not sitting and waiting at my old church I planned the outreach outings. At my former college I talked to people and actually made friends but since I was kicked out because of financial issues we lost contact, and I actually got a job at waffle house,. I still have the sheet for my times to oreintate....but I couldn't make it because we have one busted car and my mom needed it to go to work and the orientatiation site was too far out....so I couldn't take the job...

So as you can see, I'm trying...

As I recall all this....it makes me Depressed ...like nothing ever works for me ...like maybe its a sign I should just end it -_-

Don't end anything. Make beginnings. You can do this.

You're saved, God loves you, and so do I.

Emmy

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Don't end anything. Make beginnings. You can do this.

You're saved, God loves you, and so do I.

Emmy

I'm trying to make a new beginning but nothing ever pans out..I just end up being left behind. I helped my suicidal friend at his lowest point now he has a gf and is about to be married, same with another she now has her degree and is doing well, my moms relationship with my dad is getting better... No one needs me anymore...

Not that I did much to begin with.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Going through life sober sucks...I wish I was a drunk so I could forget this night.

 

[Albion]

Im not sitting and waiting at my old church I planned the outreach outings.

Please bear in mind that we are trying to help you but we really can't know much about you from a few paragraphs. In your first post, you said this:

Now I'm just sitting here...Why am I just sitting here?

But now you write, "I'm not sitting and waiting...."

Everything doesn't have to be settled tonight. I hope you take in all that everyone here has suggested to you and let it sink in. Then act. Do what you can and let God work with it.