Why are you single?

[HoosierCanuck]

Right on!!!! lol

))))))))))))

 

[FlatpickingJD]

Sometimes ya just gotta tell it like it is

True, and all the better when you can laugh about it!

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Sometimes it's more funny when you tell it like it is!

 

[mwb]

Don't be embarassed about your picture. A good person will look at both the picture & the person described. But if you do not happy with your picture & feel like online dating is not the best way to meet people, there must be someting about you that seperates you from other people. A great sense of humor, a great personality, a generous heart. These will show themselves if you find the right environment to show them off.

I agree with the feeling that it is embarassing if someone you know sees your picture. I saw my sister's friend's profile online & I'm wondering if she saw mine. If she did, I would hope she would understand I would prefer it be kept private. Now I keep my profile hidden & it only appears to those I send messages to (which I haven't done in a few months).

 

[Craft]

This is something the church should address being so important to people. I know we have single ministries but they seem ineffective. If online dating and night clubs are out, where to people meet? In my younger single days I had a real difficult time even thinking of trying to meet girls at grocery stores and malls. Our church singles need to be protected from the onslaught of rapidly degenerating world. What is the new game-plan?

I like the Coffee club type gatherings. You just go to your local coffee shop, sit with a good book and wait until the crowd gathers, then after a while someone aways asks you what you are reading. soon you have a conversation with one person and someone joins them, so on a so forth. Soon after a couple of weeks of going out for coffee, you have a group of people who sort of know you and you meet new people. With meeting new people you then get introduce to new people in turn, and even the waitress become aquaintances.

There is only 3 rules to this working:

1) Do not be impatient on the coffee service. (that is why you bring a book, lol)
2) Tip the waitress well when you leave. (that inproves the service and the lenght of time you are allowed to sit and read, lol)
3) Do not make a mess at the table. (this increases the work load of the waitress and in turn make her dread seeing you return)

lol, I hope this helps, it does work for me, but then I read alot anyway, lol.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

there must be someting about you that seperates you from other people. A great sense of humor, a great personality, a generous heart.

People who are 'close' to me would usually use these types of things to describe me (especially the sense of humour). I get the impresson men around these parts aren't too pleased....or maybe feel threatened...by a girl with a strong sense of humour. One guy once told me I was 'too weird.'

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I'm a coffee addict who apparently has developed ADD because I get impatient reading anymore. lol Your plan sounds cool though. Our local 'coffee shop' just brings in the snobs though. :-(

 

[stepha1]

I have not tried the coffee shop. It can't hurt to try.

 

[Craft]

I'm a coffee addict who apparently has developed ADD because I get impatient reading anymore. lol Your plan sounds cool though. Our local 'coffee shop' just brings in the snobs though. :-(

If snobs are there, find a coffee shop that does not have them, just a small one like a Huskey, Tim Hortons or even a Humpty's. A truck stop coffee shop around here works, lol, even too well, I have to change my choice every year or so, just so I can read my book in peace, lol.

 

[FlatpickingJD]

there must be someting about you that seperates you from other people. A great sense of humor, a great personality, a generous heart.

People who are 'close' to me would usually use these types of things to describe me (especially the sense of humour). I get the impresson men around these parts aren't too pleased....or maybe feel threatened...by a girl with a strong sense of humour. One guy once told me I was 'too weird.'

HoosierCanuck, a sense of humor is ESSENTIAL. That's the main thing I look for. If a guy can't appreciate yours, he's not worth the effort. There's nothing weird about being able to laugh at the world, at all. And the fact that you're able to open yourself up here and talk to others shows you have a generous heart and a great personality. Anyone can't see that, well, forget 'em.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

HoosierCanuck, a sense of humor is ESSENTIAL. That's the main thing I look for. If a guy can't appreciate yours, he's not worth the effort. There's nothing weird about being able to laugh at the world, at all. And the fact that you're able to open yourself up here and talk to others shows you have a generous heart and a great personality. Anyone can't see that, well, forget 'em.

Where ARE men like you? People in Indiana are too blasted serious.

Thanks for your kind words. Sometimes I'm afraid I come across as being a complainer because this is the place I feel most comfortable telling my various rants and woes and the people here (CF) are wonderful and give great insight. I don't know about others but this support network here is wonderful. I've seen new ways to think about things here and that is cool...no, priceless.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

If snobs are there, find a coffee shop that does not have them, just a small one like a Huskey, Tim Hortons or even a Humpty's. A truck stop coffee shop around here works, lol, even too well, I have to change my choice every year or so, just so I can read my book in peace, lol.

If there were a Tim Horton's near me, that's likely where I'd be. lol I actually live in Indiana and there isn't a Tim Hortons here (now...if I ever came into a large sum of money I would work to change that! lol) Around here I'm known for hanging out at a local Mexican restaurant (mom and pop owned). The family is really nice. They've been around for about 14 years, I think. Unfortunately, it's not a hangout for other singles. lol (but the food is awesome!)

 

[wildthing]

Where ARE men like you? People in Indiana are too blasted serious.

We are all over the place...

 

[FlatpickingJD]

Where ARE men like you? People in Indiana are too blasted serious.

We are all over the place...

And I think this is kinda the point - you're looking in the wrong place. There are great guys and great gals everywhere, who look beyond the superficial . . .

Thanks for your kind words. Sometimes I'm afraid I come across as being a complainer because this is the place I feel most comfortable telling my various rants and woes and the people here (CF) are wonderful and give great insight. I don't know about others but this support network here is wonderful. I've seen new ways to think about things here and that is cool...no, priceless.

I think it's important to know that you have a place to come to where you'll be accepted and where you feel comfortable. And in this forum, we'll find people who've experienced a lot of what we individually have and can either empathize or give ideas how to get out of our own way. I, too, think that's great.

 

[stepha1]

I would really like to meet someone at church but they are all married. I am happy for them but leaves me out of luck....

 

[HoosierCanuck]

hehe...the average age at my new church is probably 60 at the youngest and most are married...the rest are widowed elderly women. I go there for the wonderful fellowship and message though. The surprising thing is that everyone has asked repeatedly about my 2 jobs but no one really has brought up my singleness. I find that refreshing. I'm just accepted by these people for who I am. Compared to other churches I've been to...it feels like the Twilight Zone (in a good way!)

I know if I were looking for someone I'd have to find another church. lol

 

[mwb]

I wonder if single people over 30 even go to Church. When I attend Mass, I rarely see women over 30 at Church by themselves.

I'm not sure if someone would want me or if I should really pursue someone right now. I still live with my parents. I've been trying to move out since 2001 but I've been laid off twice since 2002 & when I was working, my dad, the only source of income in my house, was out of work due to a stroke, open heart surgery, a knee replacement & a torn bicep muscle. This has all been in the past three years.

My current situation finds my dad working but I'm laid off. I sometimes wonder if it's God's plan that I should not leave my parents. I was laid off from my last job because I turned down a position paying 50% less than the guy they eventually hired. I worked for this company for 10 years & left in 2000 but returned as a temp in 2002. I refused to be used. Seems 95% of people in my situation would be treated with respect. I certainly hope things will get better in 2006. Part of me still wants to be more aggressive in my search for someone special & hope to find someone who sees that I have much to offer & things will get better for me on the employment front.

 

[KatacrossthePond]

Hmmm...why am I still single? Well I was living with a guy, and we broke up about 4 and a bit years ago, at the same time as I became a Christian. Since then, God has been wonderfully faithful in my life and anyone who knows me 'before' and 'after' can testify to that.

God's calling on my life has always been extremely important to me. I would not want to compromise what He wants to do through me for my own personal happiness (although of course it doesn't preclude being happy!) I guess if God's plan for me is a husband, I can trust him to find me one (whilst still pro-actively looking!). After all, it's His job - He's my Father.

Also I don't want to marry for the sake of it. Although I'd absolutely love love love to have a family and babies, not at any cost! I've seen friends around me marry because that's what you do. Well no thanks. If/when I marry, it'll be because I found the man God wants me to marry.

Just my .2c

 

[FlatpickingJD]

I wonder if single people over 30 even go to Church. When I attend Mass, I rarely see women over 30 at Church by themselves.

. . . I certainly hope things will get better in 2006. Part of me still wants to be more aggressive in my search for someone special & hope to find someone who sees that I have much to offer & things will get better for me on the employment front.

I know how you feel, mwb, because I see the same thing when I go to Mass. At the times I go, it's mostly families w/small kids, which does little to ease my feeling of unattached-ness. Are there programs for singles at your church? There are at mine, though the middling years seem left out. What about other things, like book clubs or bible studies? Maybe you could become a sponsor for RCIA or the equivalent (if not in RCC) - there are possibilities out there, you just have to search for them. Don't give up!

I don't mean to minimize the problems of living w/your folks while searching for work, at the same time as trying to find a spouse/mate. That is tough. But know that not all women look simply at your pocketbook, many look at the person you are. So long as you don't sit in your shorts drinking beer all day, every day instead of trying to find work, a lot of women will see that you're a quality guy. Plus you're helping your folks out too, so that's something to consider. Don't worry, brother things will get better.

 

[FlatpickingJD]

Hmmm...why am I still single? Well I was living with a guy, and we broke up about 4 and a bit years ago, at the same time as I became a Christian. Since then, God has been wonderfully faithful in my life and anyone who knows me 'before' and 'after' can testify to that.

God's calling on my life has always been extremely important to me. I would not want to compromise what He wants to do through me for my own personal happiness (although of course it doesn't preclude being happy!) I guess if God's plan for me is a husband, I can trust him to find me one (whilst still pro-actively looking!). After all, it's His job - He's my Father.

Also I don't want to marry for the sake of it. Although I'd absolutely love love love to have a family and babies, not at any cost! I've seen friends around me marry because that's what you do. Well no thanks. If/when I marry, it'll be because I found the man God wants me to marry.

Just my .2c

Absolutely brilliant.