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BouncedBack
Senior Member
I'm single because I'm recently divorced. I have only been divorced for 7 months and there are things that I need to get right with myself and get right with God before I am ready to date again. Of course, my ex wife is already remarried...
I'm also scared to talk about my past. To say the least, its checkered. I wasn't all that worried about it until I came on here and read the post where the guy was asking about whether or not to tell the girl that he was dating about his past porn addiction. I was sure I would see a resounding "yes, the past is the past, we've all made mistakes, we all have struggles, etc" but I saw a lot of women say that they would run at the first hint of something like that, or at least be very concerned about continuing in the relationship. If my only struggle was a past porn addiction I think I'd be doing good.
BUT, the Lord works in mysterious ways and I believe that was his way of letting me know that I'm not ready yet because I am still so ashamed of the way I've lead my life and that I haven't been able to totally forgive myself yet. How could I expect someone to easily accept in me what I can't easily forgive?
I'm also scared to talk about my past. To say the least, its checkered. I wasn't all that worried about it until I came on here and read the post where the guy was asking about whether or not to tell the girl that he was dating about his past porn addiction. I was sure I would see a resounding "yes, the past is the past, we've all made mistakes, we all have struggles, etc" but I saw a lot of women say that they would run at the first hint of something like that, or at least be very concerned about continuing in the relationship. If my only struggle was a past porn addiction I think I'd be doing good.
BUT, the Lord works in mysterious ways and I believe that was his way of letting me know that I'm not ready yet because I am still so ashamed of the way I've lead my life and that I haven't been able to totally forgive myself yet. How could I expect someone to easily accept in me what I can't easily forgive?
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Well, I said before on this thread that I was single because I'm a widow. I am, but I guess I'm single too, because I haven't made the effort to start dating yet.
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[QUOTEHow could I expect someone to easily accept in me what I can't easily forgive?][/QUOTE]
All you need is for God to forgive you, and if you are saved, then just ask him, and you are forgiven. So do not need to knock your self out about it, just make sure you never do it again. Then put it in the pass and do not the Devil every it bring back to your mind again, because your sins are forgiven, just like they never were. There is no reason to ever say a word to any one, its between you and Christ
All you need is for God to forgive you, and if you are saved, then just ask him, and you are forgiven. So do not need to knock your self out about it, just make sure you never do it again. Then put it in the pass and do not the Devil every it bring back to your mind again, because your sins are forgiven, just like they never were. There is no reason to ever say a word to any one, its between you and Christ
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God is the answer no matter what you are going through, be strong and you can make it with God's help.
God has forgiven us, we are to forgive others and ourselves.
www.clfcm.org
God has forgiven us, we are to forgive others and ourselves.
www.clfcm.org
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soda
life's the adventure - got one yourself
if THIS is not an interesting thread, then what is!
great statements and insights!
tough I'm like 3 or 4 years younger than most of you, I consider myself at the right place here.
To the question: why are you single....
because I haven't met Mr. Right yet, and because I'm not sure what I'm looking for in "my other half."
or when my family asks the next time I'll say... because I forgot (have to remember that!)
I'm totally fine with this, I love being single. It presumably will stay this way for a while because I'm gifted in busying myself with projects, friendships and time consuming activities. And I love my life with all the freedom and independence and being strong and self-aware and "do my own thing" and in doing so including a great bunch of friends.
now... somehow... all that sounds kinda cocky, doesn't it?
great statements and insights!
tough I'm like 3 or 4 years younger than most of you, I consider myself at the right place here.
To the question: why are you single....
because I haven't met Mr. Right yet, and because I'm not sure what I'm looking for in "my other half."
or when my family asks the next time I'll say... because I forgot (have to remember that!)
I'm totally fine with this, I love being single. It presumably will stay this way for a while because I'm gifted in busying myself with projects, friendships and time consuming activities. And I love my life with all the freedom and independence and being strong and self-aware and "do my own thing" and in doing so including a great bunch of friends.
now... somehow... all that sounds kinda cocky, doesn't it?
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J
Jenster
Guest
It sounds like you're blessed with self-confidence and joy in being who God made you to be! Nuthin' wrong with that, soda. Cheers!
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soda
life's the adventure - got one yourself
thank you jenster. it's really the case that I'm blessed!and sometimes I even realize it! 
but as everybody else, I do have my down-times. I mean we're all human and we can't fully feel happy because we're not made for this world, but for the next. right?
but as everybody else, I do have my down-times. I mean we're all human and we can't fully feel happy because we're not made for this world, but for the next. right?
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J
Jenster
Guest
but as everybody else, I do have my down-times. I mean we're all human and we can't fully feel happy because we're not made for this world, but for the next. right?
Amen!
I did realize yesterday, however, that God is the One person who I don't need to have any pretenses with. He knows me when I wake up grumpy. He knows me when I am worried and stressed out. He knows me when I long for something that has not materialized. He knows when I'm indecisive or ambivalent. He knows when I'm happy. God knows me inside and out!
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J
Jenster
Guest
So it's kinda funny sometimes how God can speak to you through television. (Uh, no, I'm *not* talking hallucination here; more like how sometimes the message of a program can hit you. 
)
Anyway, I was watching this TV show over the weekend about what has happened to kids who experienced success on Broadway as, well, kids. The show caught up with them now as adults. And it just struck me how person after person had gotten married and had kids. Seems normal, huh?
Well, the family I grew up in, we didn't talk about dating and marriage. Not at all. I've always kinda known that, and probably already posted about that -- lol! -- but it just struck me again, and in a pretty sizeable way. My sister didn't date, my brother was private about his personal life. While some young adults can't get away from parents asking them, "So when are you getting married????" my family was the opposite.
I'm not sad or mad or anything. I've been a pretty content single, for the most part, and I accept the family I grew up in. But the show (and the realization) did give me a sort of wake-up call to get out there and date more than, oh, once a year! Odd huh? Sometimes it takes seeing things from another perspective to give you some motivation, I think.
So that's my true confession for the day.
) Anyway, I was watching this TV show over the weekend about what has happened to kids who experienced success on Broadway as, well, kids. The show caught up with them now as adults. And it just struck me how person after person had gotten married and had kids. Seems normal, huh?
Well, the family I grew up in, we didn't talk about dating and marriage. Not at all. I've always kinda known that, and probably already posted about that -- lol! -- but it just struck me again, and in a pretty sizeable way. My sister didn't date, my brother was private about his personal life. While some young adults can't get away from parents asking them, "So when are you getting married????" my family was the opposite.
I'm not sad or mad or anything. I've been a pretty content single, for the most part, and I accept the family I grew up in. But the show (and the realization) did give me a sort of wake-up call to get out there and date more than, oh, once a year! Odd huh? Sometimes it takes seeing things from another perspective to give you some motivation, I think.
So that's my true confession for the day.
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