Who'd You Choose: Girl Who Messed Up Sexually but Repented..or the One ALWAYS Clean?

[dayhiker]

DaveW .. yes, I've heard of situations like that. Some have found healing and some haven't that I've heard of.
At any rate .... does show how much damage sin can do. I pray they all find healing in Jesus' love.

 

[Guy Incognito]

*blind post*

I would hope the person would be up for the one who messed up a lot but repented - in my case if my now wife wasn't then I wouldn't be married.

 

[Dave-W]

DaveW .. yes, I've heard of situations like that. Some have found healing and some haven't that I've heard of.

There are levels of healing.

A couple of days before the earthquake hit the Washington DC area a few years back I fell and fractured my upper arm just below the shoulder joint (rotator cuff) Once the bone started to mend (about a week later) I needed to start moving the shoulder (hurt like you would not believe) to keep the rotator cuff from locking up. So they sent me to physical therapy, aka PT. (also short for "pain and torture") When it was healed up enough they really kicked up the PT. I now have better mobility in that shoulder than my other which has never been injured.

The point is the bone could have healed up just fine but without the PT the joint would be locked up.

Sexual assault or abuse frequently heals up without the equivalent of PT; and while the person has healed, proper function/mobility has never been restored.

 

[CCHIPSS]

The bible point put the harm of being a non-virgin. That was said to tell non-virgins to stop having sex before marriage. And for virgins to continue to withhold sex until marriage.

It was never put into the context so that virgins can judge non-virgins as damaged goods.

God calls some of us to marry virgins. Given how rare these are in North America, consider it a blessing if God give you a virgin spouse.

Others he calls to marry someone with sexual pasts. Hosea was one of them.

 

[LinkH]

As far as we know from the Bible, God called one person to marry a woman who had a sexually immoral past.

 

[CCHIPSS]

As far as we know from teh Bible, God called one person to marry a woman who had a sexually immoral past.

God directly called one person to marry a sexually immoral woman. However there are many cases where sexually immoral men/women gets married. For example:

David and Solomon both had tons of wives.
Rahab was a prostitute.
Bathsheba cheated on her husband.

All of the above were ancestors of Jesus. Jesus came for the broken to restore them.

 

[LinkH]

God directly called one person to marry a sexually immoral woman. However there are many cases where sexually immoral men/women gets married. For example:

David and Solomon both had tons of wives.

David probably only had one ton. 'Haggith' sounds like a heavy name, though. Who knows?

When did God commend either of these men to marry sexually immoral wives?

Rahab was a prostitute.

A note in one translation says the word there could mean innkeeper. But still, where was marrying her commanded?

Bathsheba cheated on her husband.

And when was David commanded to marry her?

All of the above were ancestors of Jesus. Jesus came for the broken to restore them.

David married Bathsheba after he sinned with her, but God worked things together for His purposes. Yet, David was not commanded to sin with Bathsheba or to marry her. The Bible doesn't command people in general, or Israelites in general to marry non-virgin women. The exception would be the man who takes the virgins virginity if her father will let him have her. Priests were not allowed to marry non-virgins except for widows of priests.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Old topic wow! Well I say let he without sin cast the first stone. Not marrying someone because they aren't a virgin is silly. I was a virgin until I was 27. My wife and I are not virgins. But it didn't matter. We have a super wonderful marriage despite our pasts because... well the past is the past. We all do bad things at one point or another. ESpecially when younger.

 

[Teslafied]

I know his topic is like 3 months old but I wanted to chime in...

I believe that once one repents it's washed in the blood, BUT in the case of virginity although the person who lost their "purity" has repented the fact remains that there are wages to sin. Having premarital sex no matter how you look at it is a sin. We all sin, but we shouldn't let sin reign in us. So to call losing ones virginity before marriage an accident is quite odd to me, I don't see how willingly having sexual relations with someone an accident. Also may I add that it's natural for a man to want a wife who has remained pure, when they enter into the marriage covenant she has herself to present to him, and he has himself to present to her as a gift.

A woman can only enter into a blood covenant with ONE man. Also sexual relations create soul ties which is a no no outside of a Godly committed marriage.

Again we shouldn't look down upon them, BUT we shouldn't also blame men OR women of they choose to marry virgins only.

It's crazy we call those who value purity judgmental yet isn't it judgemental to judge those who we think are so judgemental? If that makes any sense.

Me and my husband remained pure and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had tons of suitors after me and once I found out they had sexual relations I pretty much told them it wouldn't work out. I knew what I was looking for - a diamond in the rough.

 

[CCHIPSS]

I know his topic is like 3 months old but I wanted to chime in...

I believe that once one repents it's washed in the blood, BUT in the case of virginity although the person who lost their "purity" has repented the fact remains that there are wages to sin. Having premarital sex no matter how you look at it is a sin. We all sin, but we shouldn't let sin reign in us. So to call losing ones virginity before marriage an accident is quite odd to me, I don't see how willingly having sexual relations with someone an accident. Also may I add that it's natural for a man to want a wife who has remained pure, when they enter into the marriage covenant she has herself to present to him, and he has himself to present to her as a gift.

A woman can only enter into a blood covenant with ONE man. Also sexual relations create soul ties which is a no no outside of a Godly committed marriage.

Again we shouldn't look down upon them, BUT we shouldn't also blame men OR women of they choose to marry virgins only.

It's crazy we call those who value purity judgmental yet isn't it judgemental to judge those who we think are so judgemental? If that makes any sense.

Me and my husband remained pure and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had tons of suitors after me and once I found out they had sexual relations I pretty much told them it wouldn't work out. I knew what I was looking for - a diamond in the rough.

God didn't call you to marry a non-virgin. I respect that. =)

However God do call some Christians to marry non-virgins. If that is God's calling for you, do it. Let us not make life harder for non-virgins, or those that are about to marry them.

 

[Teslafied]

God didn't call you to marry a non-virgin. I respect that. =)

However God do call some Christians to marry non-virgins. If that is God's calling for you, do it. Let us not make life harder for non-virgins, or those that are about to marry them.

Yes again that was the decision that best fit me, as for others that's up to them.

 

[Dave-W]

God didn't call you to marry a non-virgin. I respect that. =)

God does NOT call us to marry a "status" like 'virgin or 'non-virgin.' He calls us to people REGARDLESS of their status. (except for the status "washed in the Blood")

 

[Hank77]

The Bible doesn't command people in general, or Israelites in general to marry non-virgin women. The exception would be the man who takes the virgins virginity if her father will let him have her. Priests were not allowed to marry non-virgins except for widows of priests.

When Paul commanded that young widows were to remarry wouldn't that also be telling men to marry young widows?

 

[Dave-W]

When Paul commanded that young widows were to remarry wouldn't that also be telling men to marry young widows?

Yes - exactly.

Virginity is a good thing and honorable; but some people's preoccupation with it seems to border on idolatry.

 

[Teslafied]

Yes - exactly.

Virginity is a good thing and honorable; but some people's preoccupation with it seems to border on idolatry.

I don't see how.

 

[Dave-W]

I don't see how.

Idolatry is putting anything ahead of God.

So if He would bring someone to be their spouse who was NOT a virgin, they would reject them; thereby making idolatry an idol.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I see what he means. Some become so obsessed with finding a virgin only that biblical you make an idol out of finding a virgin. As in you will not accept anyone that is not a virgin. Which also borders on judgmental and prideful. Theres nothing wrong of course with being a virgin or marrying one. But only searching for one comes off as thinking your better then those who are not virgins. Sin is sin. So even if someone thinks less of a virgin, they are likely no better themselves. And remember you you will be treated as you treat others. So if someone thinks less of a non-virgin, someone will think less of you with any sins you do.

Me? Of course I would have been ok with a virgin. But it wasn't important to me. Though the only important thing was the person didn't have a like a bazillion sex partners before me. Messing up with someone is understandable. We make mistakes. But messing up with lets say 10 people is not a mistake. I wasn't a virgin when married. Lost mine at 27. My wife lost hers in her late 20s too I think. There are pros and cons to marrying a virgin just as their are to marrying a non-virgin. Again, not saying virginity is bad or anything. God would prefer we stay one until married. But it does come with its issues.

 

[Teslafied]

Idolatry is putting anything ahead of God.

So if He would bring someone to be their spouse who was NOT a virgin, they would reject them; thereby making idolatry an idol.

God would not do that though... God would rather we remain pure and to marry another who is pure. Now this isn't to say that we aren't allowed to marry non virgins, but I doubt God would bring a non virgin into our lives to marry unless In the case that they were wrongfully put away by their ex spouse through means of adultery / divorce etc.

Wanting to marry someone pure is not idolatry whatsoever, idolatry is an idol and an idol is something one worships other than God. Last I checked virginity is an honorable thing far from idolatry.

 

[Teslafied]

I see what he means. Some become so obsessed with finding a virgin only that biblical you make an idol out of finding a virgin. As in you will not accept anyone that is not a virgin. Which also borders on judgmental and prideful. Theres nothing wrong of course with being a virgin or marrying one. But only searching for one comes off as thinking your better then those who are not virgins. Sin is sin. So even if someone thinks less of a virgin, they are likely no better themselves. And remember you you will be treated as you treat others. So if someone thinks less of a non-virgin, someone will think less of you with any sins you do.

Me? Of course I would have been ok with a virgin. But it wasn't important to me. Though the only important thing was the person didn't have a like a bazillion sex partners before me. Messing up with someone is understandable. We make mistakes. But messing up with lets say 10 people is not a mistake. I wasn't a virgin when married. Lost mine at 27. My wife lost hers in her late 20s too I think. There are pros and cons to marrying a virgin just as their are to marrying a non-virgin. Again, not saying virginity is bad or anything. God would prefer we stay one until married. But it does come with its issues.

Losing virginity is not a mistake or messing up its a conscious choice between two people unless it's rape... So no wanting to remain pure or marry someone pure is not idolatry whatsoever.

Then again in the last days people will call good evil and evil good.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Losing virginity can be a mistake. Unless you have done it you may not understand. For example you can go to kiss someone, next thing you know you had sex and its over. For me it happened that fast. Its like you black out to what your doing and by the time you realize what you did its to late. Hence its a mistake. Granted most of the time the person knew what they were doing.

As for idolatry. We all have idols in one way or another. We may not even notice our idol is an idol though. Mine was being into conspiracies. I was part of a forum that was full on thousands on theories. NWO. 9-11 and all stuff like that.

At the time I didn't even realize it was my idol. But the devil knew conspiracies were a perfect way to get us away from God. I spent alot of my time wrapped up guessing who was part of the NWO, who did 9/11 and so on. To the point of I focused on it more then God.

And it also made me live in some fear of the future. Which is what the devil wants. I feared the cops, the government and things that made no sense. Glad I am away from that though.