I find it interesting that you use the word 'clean' as synonymous for 'someone who has never had sex'. You allude to this is your post, too, that it is odd that virginity is equated to purity.
But it's not only odd, it's flat-out unbiblical. even the Mosaic Law did not considered someone who wasn't a virgin 'unclean', nor even unmarriageable.
See how folks like making up rules? It's just like Israel begging for a king. Nothing new under the sun.
To be clear,
As it concerns the Mosaic Law, there were actually many strict rules that often seemed to note that someone who wasn't a virgin was often closed/off limits.
In example, there's no escaping the evil of "rape" and the reality of how it's not a matter of "choice" as with other things in regards to purity. For a woman to be forcibly entered when she has not chosen, when she is not ready, causes her body which tries to clamp up, terrible pain. I don't think enough men understand this. For she has not '
messed up sexually', she has been ATTACKED. And to my mind a raped virgin is still virgin in heart and soul. She has not yet enjoyed sex, or willingly given her body in love and joy to a man.
However, many churches do consider someone to be "impure" when raped due to what the example of scripture
2 Samuel 13/2 Samuel 13:18
Amnon and Tamar
1 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.
2 Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 He asked Amnon, "Why do you, the king's son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won't you tell me?"
Amnon said to him, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."
5 "Go to bed and pretend to be ill," Jonadab said. "When your father comes to see you, say to him, 'I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.' "
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand."
7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: "Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him." 8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. 9 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.
"Send everyone out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. 11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "Come to bed with me, my sister."
12 "Don't, my brother!" she said to him. "Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you." 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, "Get up and get out!"
16 "No!" she said to him. "Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me."
But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal servant and said, "Get this woman out of here and bolt the door after her." 18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing a richly ornamented [a] robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented [b] robe she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, "Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don't take this thing to heart." And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
One of the places I was lanning on working at - an organization that promotes foster care through the local church - had a wonderful manager who shared some amazing things with me. He's a powerful man of God, who grew up in a men's home/got married in one and has done work in the field for years..and he was sharing how at one of their conferences where they share ideas, a lady stood up....and gave her testimony on how she was raped and literally had people IN THE CHURCH saying how no one would ever love her or take care of the child that was produced in the Union. Of course, by the Grace of God, that was all proven wrong---as one of the elders in the church looked after her, fell in love with her, and married her....and the child, who many said would never make it, is now 8yrs old.
Sadly, though, that's not the case for all women........as there are many places where women are sadly seen as foolish for placing themselves in positions to be raped (i.e. "date rape", "not being careful of the men they got involved with", being in an emotional state due to a myriad of factors like their home/families where many of them subjected themselves willingly to the process of being taken advantage of, etc) and they're the ones who get less press.....as they're not the ones that're placed up as much for discussion.
To be clear, I wanted to be clear that I don't belittle Rape in the slightest.....as one of my close friends was raped TWICE, alongside others. Where I'm coming from, though, is that it seems their stories of how the Lord was GOOD to them in their circumstances and sent them men who'd understand them/the issues they struggled with are never discussed as often....and I know of men who honestly would not marry girls/women that were "raped" due to how they don't fit the ideal girl---one who, in the eyes of many, does not have as much "emotional/spiritual" baggage to deal with (as it can be a battle for many)
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As it concerns the OP, have you or anyone here ever heard of or read a Book entitled "Bad Girls of the Bible"?
Read it and loved it, as I thought of how many girls seem to think the Bible's only full of "pure" ones that the Lord worked through/used...and yet on the others (Rahab, Ruth, etc), they're never mentioned.....
I think that the TLW conferences, as do most Christians and churches, place those who have never committed a sexual sin on a pedestal because we all have a tendency to believe that one sin is worse than another. Sexual sins can (and usually do) have worse consequences than other sins but it is no worse than lying or any other sin. [(Please don't think that I'm making light of sexual sin. The consequences of this kind of sin can be far-reaching.)] I am always happy when I hear of a young couple that were both virgins when they marry (and there have been many at my church in the last 3 years or so) but I think that we tend to forget about those who have failed
previously in this area and are now trying to live a life of purity and that is wrong. If they are saved, then God has forgiven them and they are pure in the eyes of God. Who are
we to think less of them because of their past sexual sin?
1 Cor. 6: 9-11
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
I would tell someone in this situation not to rule out a woman or man who has had past sexual sin, but be cautious. There are alot of STDs out there. If the two people involved in this situation are getting serious, then the person with the sexual past would need to be very open and honest about their past history to their potential spouse, even if it means that they could lose them.
