when you think that someone is the 'one'... but they're not

[LadyBlue]

This is a really hard realization ... when you think that someone is the one for you ... but they are really wrong for you. I just think that I fall in love - or at least what I consider to be love and trust people , way to easily ... it's a really big problem
But, it has happened to me on three different occasions now ... I feel so stupid for letting myself get into the situation of caring about someone and then getting hurt. More than that - for being so trusting, and so idealistic about people. It's like my heart has been on some kind of crazy rollercoster. Now, I feel like when I do meet the right person for me, I will be slightly jaded and more weary about giving my heart ...
I'm not sure if anyone remembers a thread that I started a while ago - about someone who I was having second thoughts about, because of his casual attitude towards sex ... ok, well, I just found out that he has a daughter I'm happy that I found out now anyway ... but, I'm just feeling a little bit hopeless, not mention .... completely stupid and embarrased Oh, and thanks to everyone on the forum who gave me good advice about this person - you were right

Does anyone have any similar experiences ... how do you deal with it? How do I stop getting myself into these situations?

Blessings

 

[Rory]

I know all to well how you feel, I have the same problem at times. There is not much I've found so far on how to deal with it, we can't really control our emotions, they sorta have a life of their own. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation with that guy, but from the sound of it you are far better without him if he wasn't being totally honest with ya.

Wish I had more I could say on how to help in these situations but so far all I've found is that it doesn't last forever, the hurting at least, the condition may last till you find your mate. At 27 I'm still dealing with this problem, so yeah. Good luck, just keep praying.

 

[LadyBlue]

I know all to well how you feel, I have the same problem at times. There is not much I've found so far on how to deal with it, we can't really control our emotions, they sorta have a life of their own. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation with that guy, but from the sound of it you are far better without him if he wasn't being totally honest with ya.

Wish I had more I could say on how to help in these situations but so far all I've found is that it doesn't last forever, the hurting at least, the condition may last till you find your mate. At 27 I'm still dealing with this problem, so yeah. Good luck, just keep praying.

thanks RoryAnthony, it's nice to know that other people deal with the same issues

 

[Rory]

You're welcome LadyBlue, I know that it's always encouraging to know you are not alone in your problems, just wanted to share and give ya some support.

 

[Keith Van Horn]

Look at how Abraham showed his faithfullness to God. He told him to sacrifice the one thing God had just givin him. Maybe God just wants to see how much you truly trust Him.

 

[Audiomechanic]

I have been in that same situation at least twice. I know how you feel. I can't really offer any advice because I have not found a solution other than to trust God and ask him frequently what he would have you do. If you meet someone and really like them, ask God about it. If there is even the slightest bit of doubt, that could be the Holy Spirit pricking your heart, telling you that it's probably not a good idea to hook up.

-My .02

 

[MN John]

This is a really hard realization ... when you think that someone is the one for you ... but they are really wrong for you. I just think that I fall in love - or at least what I consider to be love and trust people , way to easily ... it's a really big problem
But, it has happened to me on three different occasions now ... I feel so stupid for letting myself get into the situation of caring about someone and then getting hurt. More than that - for being so trusting, and so idealistic about people. It's like my heart has been on some kind of crazy rollercoster. Now, I feel like when I do meet the right person for me, I will be slightly jaded and more weary about giving my heart ...
I'm not sure if anyone remembers a thread that I started a while ago - about someone who I was having second thoughts about, because of his casual attitude towards sex ... ok, well, I just found out that he has a daughter I'm happy that I found out now anyway ... but, I'm just feeling a little bit hopeless, not mention .... completely stupid and embarrased Oh, and thanks to everyone on the forum who gave me good advice about this person - you were right

Does anyone have any similar experiences ... how do you deal with it? How do I stop getting myself into these situations?

Blessings

I also know what you mean. I was in a very longterm relationship. After that I rebounded first with a casual encounter and later really let my heart be broken by someone that I knew wasn't right for me. Later I was more cautious and careful to look for only good strong Christian women. Now I have Sara and if it were to not be God's will for us to marry, I would be totally crushed again. However, I still see having an open heart and being vulnerable to love as a positive thing and not a shortcoming. In oter words, I think that I would be just as ready to love the next time. Too much baggage leads to too much guardedness and if I'm so guarded than I just can't be as open and honest as I believe I must be with a potential future wife.

 

[LadyBlue]

Look at how Abraham showed his faithfullness to God. He told him to sacrifice the one thing God had just givin him. Maybe God just wants to see how much you truly trust Him.

This is a really good point, I had never thought about it like that! Thanks

 

[LadyBlue]

I have been in that same situation at least twice. I know how you feel. I can't really offer any advice because I have not found a solution other than to trust God and ask him frequently what he would have you do. If you meet someone and really like them, ask God about it. If there is even the slightest bit of doubt, that could be the Holy Spirit pricking your heart, telling you that it's probably not a good idea to hook up.

-My .02

Thanks, I try to talk and pray alot, and I think that it is working, hopefully, he will guide me and help me to be more careful who I trust next time! I agree about the doubt thing too ....

 

[LadyBlue]

I also know what you mean. I was in a very longterm relationship. After that I rebounded first with a casual encounter and later really let my heart be broken by someone that I knew wasn't right for me. Later I was more cautious and careful to look for only good strong Christian women. Now I have Sara and if it were to not be God's will for us to marry, I would be totally crushed again. However, I still see having an open heart and being vulnerable to love as a positive thing and not a shortcoming. In oter words, I think that I would be just as ready to love the next time. Too much baggage leads to too much guardedness and if I'm so guarded than I just can't be as open and honest as I believe I must be with a potential future wife.

I'm happy that you found someone after having your heart broken

I know that being trusting and vulnerable is mostly a good qualitiy - I guess I just have to be more careful ... too much baggage can lead to guardedness ... and being open and honest are important qualities in establishing relationships. I just feel as though, my heart wouldn't deal very well with being broken one more time ...

 

[Tink]

Let me encourage all of you by saying that there is peace after such a break up. And there is hope in finding the person God has for you.

Speaking from experience, it's hard, but it's so worth it....

In His love,
Tink

 

[MN John]

I know that being trusting and vulnerable is mostly a good qualitiy - I guess I just have to be more careful ... too much baggage can lead to guardedness ... and being open and honest are important qualities in establishing relationships. I just feel as though, my heart wouldn't deal very well with being broken one more time ...

Yes, it's a question of which to choose, avoiding love because you might be hurt, or risking hurt because you might find love. Never an easy choice.

 

[NicelyAged]

Hi LadyBlue Sorry you're feeling a little blue

I wish we lived in a perfect world where everyone met the perfect person for them the first time and all lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way most of the time as you know.

For whatever reason, the persuit of love comes with risk. Those that are successful in finding love have a stronger desire to succeed than their fear of what if things don't work out. Many don't find love because of that fear or they have a bad experience and they quit. Others are able take it in the kisser, bounce back, and keep going.

There's nothing unusual about your circumstances. I'd say the average person goes through several not working outs before they find the one that works.

 

[Tuffguy]

This is a really hard realization ... when you think that someone is the one for you ... but they are really wrong for you. I just think that I fall in love - or at least what I consider to be love and trust people , way to easily ... it's a really big problem
But, it has happened to me on three different occasions now ... I feel so stupid for letting myself get into the situation of caring about someone and then getting hurt. More than that - for being so trusting, and so idealistic about people. It's like my heart has been on some kind of crazy rollercoster. Now, I feel like when I do meet the right person for me, I will be slightly jaded and more weary about giving my heart ...
I'm not sure if anyone remembers a thread that I started a while ago - about someone who I was having second thoughts about, because of his casual attitude towards sex ... ok, well, I just found out that he has a daughter I'm happy that I found out now anyway ... but, I'm just feeling a little bit hopeless, not mention .... completely stupid and embarrased Oh, and thanks to everyone on the forum who gave me good advice about this person - you were right

Does anyone have any similar experiences ... how do you deal with it? How do I stop getting myself into these situations?

Blessings

You should learn to go with your instincts. They rarely lead you astray. I know because i have been the guy that has convinced girls to believe this or that about me. Guys lie! Espically the ones that aren't Christians.

 

[LadyBlue]

Let me encourage all of you by saying that there is peace after such a break up. And there is hope in finding the person God has for you.

Speaking from experience, it's hard, but it's so worth it....

In His love,
Tink

thanks, that really made me feel alot better

 

[LadyBlue]

Hi LadyBlue Sorry you're feeling a little blue

I wish we lived in a perfect world where everyone met the perfect person for them the first time and all lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way most of the time as you know.

For whatever reason, the persuit of love comes with risk. Those that are successful in finding love have a stronger desire to succeed than their fear of what if things don't work out. Many don't find love because of that fear or they have a bad experience and they quit. Others are able take it in the kisser, bounce back, and keep going.

There's nothing unusual about your circumstances. I'd say the average person goes through several not working outs before they find the one that works.

thanks, I know what you mean and that alot of other people experience similar experiences, it's just a part of growing up I guess

 

[LadyBlue]

You should learn to go with your instincts. They rarely lead you astray. I know because i have been the guy that has convinced girls to believe this or that about me. Guys lie! Espically the ones that aren't Christians.

You are right I should trust my instincts more ... don't know why I don't ...

Guys do lie ... sorry to all the guys out there ... of course there are some who do not

 

[JPPT1974]

But don't forget there are some girls who lie
And some that don't.

 

[Tink]

But don't forget there are some girls who lie
And some that don't.

AMEN to that, JPPT.

Lying isn't a one sex thing. That's for sure.

In His love,
Tink

 

[simpletrust]

Being very idealistic myself, I completely gave my heart to my first boyfriend, and he gave me his. Unfortunately, he broke mine. And picked it up, and dropped it again, and picked it up, and dropped it again...etc... you get the picture.

I have no idea how I will respond to possible partners in the future but I'm feeling a bit regretful and foolish for letting my first relationship get so close so fast that I think I'll be a bit wary of people in future. So you're not alone! Perhaps a bit of wariness is a good thing. It will make finally trusting someone fully a truly beautiful thing At least, I hope so. I trust God has some good planned out of a broken heart.