What's on your mind?

[bèlla]

Berating the sexes isn't a healthy way of addressing frustration and pain. Nor is it indicative of Christ's example when we reduce one another to percentages and numbers. Everyone has value and we're all made in His image.

It's disingenuous to apply statistics that don't factor in Christianity or use the demographic in their data as evidence of wrongdoing. It isn't an honest reflection of us. Disappointments aren't indicative that everyone's bad or likely to follow suit.

More importantly, if you genuinely believe that's the case you should be praying. That's why were here. If we're going to address it rationally look for Christian sources instead. We don't need the world's take anymore. We've heard enough.

 

[LoveDivine]

Technically an incel is a man (or a woman) that resents the opposite sex for not finding them attractive. All I see is people looking for answers and one guy who seems to be anti-marriage, which I would consider more wrong than incel.

Hey Moe, perhaps my usage of the term "incel," was not technically correct. What I was noticing recently ( and there has been the same pattern here over the years) is a real bitterness towards the opposite sex and a lot of a lumping an entire gender into one category based on a few negative interactions with women. I referred to these threads as incel threads jokingly, but in reality they kind of are. We have members venting their frustrations about not being able to attract women. That could be acceptable if the frustration did not result in bitterness towards women or even worse towards God. It's that bitterness that caught my attention. I suppose I could have just as easily referred to these current discussions as bitter rants. Either way, whether my joke of them being incel threads is entirely accurate or not, the point I was making is valid : these discussions are toxic spiritually and are not good for Christians to engage in. I've had many bad experiences with men, but I am careful to not allow those experiences to harden me and make me resentful of men. I take things for what they are : we live in a fallen world with many selfish people who will abuse and harm others and both genders (unless they are truly converted ) are capable of heinous behavior. The gospels even say that Christ entrusted himself to no man (when he was here on earth ) because he knew what was in their hearts. To me this is more of a sin nature issue than a gender problem.

I'm also not unsympathetic to the suffering some have here. I get that many strongly desire companionship and marriage and aren't able to be in relationships. That's definitely a source of suffering. I understand the frustration and depression. I wouldn't joke about their misery and term it "incel," but some have taken things way too far here and are really sharing nasty and ridiculous things. So ridiculous it is comical in a dark way.

 

[bèlla]

Either way, whether my joke of them being incel threads is entirely accurate or not, the point I was making is valid : these discussions are toxic spiritually and are not good for Christians to engage in.

Bitterness has a negative impact on us and our connections. It keeps us in a negative state with frequent recounts of wrongs and hurts. After awhile it places a strain on others. No matter how nice we are it can't be hidden and always seeps out. Which inevitably causes loss.

That's the downside of commiseration. Not that it's wrong to share our hurts. But we can't live in that space continually. We'll get stuck in a never-ending loop of blame and woe. That isn't healthy or biblical.

If it happens from time to time that's understandable. But frequent occurrences may be indicative of strongholds. I've seen it up close with someone at church and wrote her testimony on her deliverance from a root of bitterness. When that's the case there's usually a spirit of rejection and possibly fear and anger too. Rejection is usually the strongman.

When those things come to mind we have to cast them down and silence them with prayer. When we don't we're like motels with vacancy signs beckoning things our way. And come they will.

 

[Saucy]

Back in my day here on CF, we didn't have a name for the incels. It was just called "singles" lol

 

[High Fidelity]

Back in my day here on CF, we didn't have a name for the incels. It was just called "singles" lol

And Strav, King of the Incels

 

[mojoboy31]

And Strav, King of the Incels

Do not mention he who must not be named!

 

[SarahsKnight]

This morning had the second of two people in the last few weeks tell me they thought I was in my late twenties instead of thirties. (and one of them was actually another guy this time instead of all women. AND he sounded genuinely shocked when I revealed my true age.)

It is most flattering that this often other people find me to still look youthful, even if not necessarily physically attractive. But then, I myself have always been much more concerned with looking innocent to strangers, rather than "hot".

 

[SarahsKnight]

At Mule Kick right now since it is just the start of my typical 96-hour weekend off from work that occurs once every four weeks. There is a most beautiful lady whose fashion I am certain Miss @bèlla would appove of performing a cover of "Hotel California" on the stage just yards away from me. I surmise her to be anywhere from 28 to 35 years of age. Her voice, dress, mannerisms and movements are quite enchanting to behold.

---

 

[SarahsKnight]

The enthusiastic way in which she twirls in that dress whilst donning a tambourine. I cannot help but picture the character of interest from that song by Abba, "Dancing Queen". How fortunate of me to've thought to come here to Mule Kick to unwind this particular day, even though I tend to be a patron only once every three or four weeks.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

This morning had the second of two people in the last few weeks tell me they thought I was in my late twenties instead of thirties. (and one of them was actually another guy this time instead of all women. AND he sounded genuinely shocked when I revealed my true age.)

It is most flattering that this often other people find me to still look youthful, even if not necessarily physically attractive. But then, I myself have always been much more concerned with looking innocent to strangers, rather than "hot".

Some people really do look a lot younger than they are. I get that a lot too.

 

[bèlla]

The enthusiastic way in which she twirls in that dress whilst donning a tambourine. I cannot help but picture the character of interest from that song by Abba, "Dancing Queen". How fortunate of me to've thought to come here to Mule Kick to unwind this particular day, even though I tend to be a patron only once every three or four weeks.

You should say hello and give her a knightly smile.

 

[SarahsKnight]

When this group can make even a song like Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" sound palatable and even entertaining, you know they've got talent.

And the lady member I am gushing over right now certainly adds to the charm.



.... While I admit to being quite critical to music in general, please don't get me wrong: I actually do like most of the songs I know from Jason Mraz. "Please Don't Tell Her" might be in my top 100 songs of all time, actually. There's just something about the lyrics and sappy meandering beat of "I'm Yours" that grates on my nerves for some reason, though, when upon first glance one might think that its lyrics would actually appeal to me as Sarah's Knight in my idealism.

 

[SarahsKnight]

You should say hello and give her a knightly smile.

I fear to look like an obsessed fan if I were to deliberately move closer in order to do that. Right now I am halfway across the restaurant. Besides, I just learned that the older gentleman on the guitar next to her is her father, as he recently introduced the group.


They are performing a classic at this moment, albeit one I only know through my parents and their particular generational taste : The Mamas and the Pappas' "California Dreamin' ".

 

[bèlla]

I fear to look like an obsessed fan if I were to deliberately move closer in order to do that. Right now I am halfway across the restaurant. Besides, I just learned that the older gentleman on the guitar next to her is her father, as he recently introduced the group.


They are performing a classic at this moment, albeit one I only know through my parents and their particular generational taste : The Mamas and the Pappas' "California Dreamin' ".

You can't look obsessed and innocent simultaneously. If you don't want to move closer compliment them when they're done. Tell them it's the first time you saw them and enjoyed their performance. I'm sure they'll appreciate the positive feedback. Have a favorite piece or two in mind in case they ask or you decide to share. That shows you were paying and few musicians would complain about that.

 

[SarahsKnight]

You can't look obsessed and innocent simultaneously. If you don't want to move closer compliment them when they're done. Tell them it's the first time you saw them and enjoyed their performance. I'm sure they'll appreciate the positive feedback. Have a favorite piece or two in mind in case they ask or you decide to share. That shows you were paying and few musicians would complain about that.

Speaking of .... the father looks really familiar to me.

No way this guy could be the same as one of the teachers I'd had at the student religious organization I was a part of during the greater part of my college years .... He'd be about the right age. But, nahhhh ....

 

[SarahsKnight]

And I just found that the lady who holds my heart's attention this evening is not only able to flourish the tambourine with ease, but isn't so bad at the harmonica, either. ^-^

 

[SarahsKnight]

Just caught the name of this group. They are known as Shaw Revolver. The older daughter just took a moment to invite us in the audience to check them out on Facebook, so, I suppose you all can now go to their page and easily see for yourselves the face of the woman who so has me besotted this evening.^-^

 

[bèlla]

Speaking of .... the father looks really familiar to me.

No way this guy could be the same as one of the teachers I'd had at the student religious organization I was a part of during the greater part of my college years .... He'd be about the right age. But, nahhhh ....

Check out the page. There may be something that jogs your memory. At the very least you'll know if she's available.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

You know you are getting old when you have to put on a Lidocaine patch because you hurt your shoulder picking up your three-year-old niece, lol.

 

[MehGuy]

Some people really do look a lot younger than they are. I get that a lot too.

Me too. Although sometimes I think it's ridiculous when I get it. I had a 22-year-old woman tell me that I look younger than her. I've had other people say I look younger.. although personally I don't really see it. Maybe mid-20s.. though I do sometimes have a hard time telling the difference between men's ages. They all look pretty much the same to me, until maybe they reach their 40s.

In my case.. I don't like it. I want to look good for my age, but I still want to look my age. I don't want to appear as someone I'm not.