What's on your mind?

[LoveDivine]

No offense taken, no fight wanted. I definitely understand what you're saying, you are absolutely right: it's WRONG to say he's unfair & no Christian should be saying that. Athough due to sin they may once in a while just like any other tendency to sin. Christians recognize our sin, we're not super-masters over it, we're not perfect (at best it's a very long process), we just are able to recognize it when we do, say that it's wrong, & try to do better w/ God's help.

& I find it could be taken to the other extreme too, where you're trying to suppress any discontentment because 'God wants me like this.'

I'm not advocating falseness or pretending to be happy. We all do have sorrows and tough times in life. It is okay to share about our struggles and to seek guidance from others. We must always do it though in a way that does not bring reproach to the name of Christ. Suffering is not unique to any individual. We all will have struggles. But the Christian should be a light to others even in the midst of trials. So it's really never okay to post what I see posted often here. Not if we want to serve Christ and be a good testimony. If people don't care about that, then post away lol. It really all depends on how much you would like to reach others and be useful. So many Christian martyrs died glorious deaths and reached many who watched them die. They made the best defence for the Christian faith just by their stoicism and willingness to die for Christ. Without complaining. That's tremendous. All I'm saying here is let's not blaspheme God because we don't have a wife or sex lol. It's not really that hard

 

[High Fidelity]

Lol. That's totally okay. No need to post any

Christian or not, what makes the discussion "incel" is the attitude. I was being sarcastic and funny ealier, but it's actually rather sad that these discussions actually happen among professing Christians. If you think about it, it's actually kind of tragic. Christians should be ambassadors for Christ and we actually have an opportunity on this forum to post edifying and helpful things for others who are nonsaved to see or those who are struggling. We can give praise to God and show the hope and joy we have in him to others. Instead, sadly, it's a lot of Why is God unfair?, Why are all women awful? Type of threads. Doesn't really give a good impression of the Christian faith. If I wasn't already a Christian myself and I was reading these threads, I'd run. So though I joke about it, it's pretty shameful actually. You can be sad about your life and still not resort to posting a trail of stumblingblocks for others to read.

All this yadda yadda yadda makes me think marriage just isn't worth it for me, as a man.

We let women vote and now they have opinions? What is the world coming to.

(Warning: Post may contain sarcasm).

 

[DragonFox91]

All this yadda yadda yadda makes me think marriage just isn't worth it for me, as a man.

We let women vote and now they have opinions? What is the world coming to.

(Warning: Post may contain sarcasm).

I'm just gonna hold my tongue.

 

[mojoboy31]

All this yadda yadda yadda makes me think marriage just isn't worth it for me, as a man.

We let women vote and now they have opinions? What is the world coming to.

(Warning: Post may contain sarcasm).

Yeh! For real, bruh. These females just don't appreciate intellectuals like ourselves.

 

[DragonFox91]

That's a good question for my Sunday School class on Q&A Sundays. How sanctified should you expect to get? What are reasonable levels of sanctification you should expect in others? (We view sanctification as a process)

 

[High Fidelity]

Yeh! For real, bruh. These females just don't appreciate intellectuals like ourselves.

Wow that laughing emoji was a real Sharon emoji. I wonder what she's up to nowadays.

 

[TheLastGeek]

For the record, there are absolutely "incel" type people in this area of CF. The incel culture - sadly - has a wide array of men who subscribe to its belief system. Not all of them are looking merely for arm candy or quick hookups. One of the common threads among them is entitled bitterness, and that is glaringly apparent in some CF threads. Women aren't individual people, they're just "women". If I had a dollar for every time I've seen a man post something about "women" on here - generalizing millions of individual human beings in one breath - I'd be quite wealthy by now.

 

[LoveDivine]

For the record, there are absolutely "incel" type people in this area of CF. The incel culture - sadly - has a wide array of men who subscribe to its belief system. Not all of them are looking merely for arm candy or quick hookups. One of the common threads among them is entitled bitterness, and that is glaringly apparent in some CF threads. Women aren't individual people, they're just "women". If I had a dollar for every time I've seen a man post something about "women" on here - generalizing millions of individual human beings in one breath - I'd be quite wealthy by now.

Agreed. I think one main pitfall of this type of thinking is that it is not at all founded on Scriptural truths and wisdom. I find it odd for Christians to adopt these mindsets when the very basis of this ideology is flawed. We aren't supposed to harbor bitterness towards anyone and lump others or an entire gender into one category . We should instead be judging each individual tree by its fruit.

Also, when did people forget that for the Christian, marriage is an entirely different process from secular dating. We are supposed to be seeking God's will for our lives and asking him to direct us to a fellow Christian who would be a good match. This should have little to do with popularity and being in the top 10% of our gender. ( Yes I saw that post and thread lol ). What on earth does that even mean? Who even thinks like this if they are Christian. I find that the whole numerical system of rating others is vulgar and ungodly.

 

[mojoboy31]

Does anyone know how to upload videos here? Every time I try, it says the format isn't accepted. but it seems no format is accepted...

 

[High Fidelity]

The entitlement is the worst part. No one owes anyone anything as an individual. It’s very telling that a lot of bitterness creeps in when a man has done something, hasn’t made any progress and then complains he hasn’t gotten anything in return. That just highlights the intention, and it isn’t simply being a good person and possibly expressing interest.

Some of the posts here are drenched in bitterness. The themes and comments in some of them are clearly made from an underlying desire to believe what they’re saying as a more palatable reality; something that’s their choice, rather than they haven’t managed to attract a mate yet.

It’s easier to tell ourselves we don’t want something than it is to lament what we don’t have and why.

 

[mojoboy31]

It’s easier to tell ourselves we don’t want something than it is to lament what we don’t have and why.

Yep, and it's easier than taking a good hard look in the mirror and acquiring some self-awareness, and then working to improve your situation.
It's so much more attractive to just blame others and decide you're better off the way you are...

 

[TheLastGeek]

Agreed. I think one main pitfall of this type of thinking is that it is not at all founded on Scriptural truths and wisdom. I find it odd for Christians to adopt these mindsets when the very basis of this ideology is flawed. We aren't supposed to harbor bitterness towards anyone and lump others or an entire gender into one category . We should instead be judging each individual tree by its fruit.

Also, when did people forget that for the Christian, marriage is an entirely different process from secular dating. We are supposed to be seeking God's will for our lives and asking him to direct us to a fellow Christian who would be a good match. This should have little to do with popularity and being in the top 10% of our gender. ( Yes I saw that post and thread lol ). What on earth does that even mean? Who even thinks like this if they are Christian. I find that the whole numerical system of rating others is vulgar and ungodly.

Amen and amen.

 

[TheLastGeek]

The entitlement is the worst part. No one owes anyone anything as an individual. It’s very telling that a lot of bitterness creeps in when a man has done something, hasn’t made any progress and then complains he hasn’t gotten anything in return. That just highlights the intention, and it isn’t simply being a good person and possibly expressing interest.

Some of the posts here are drenched in bitterness. The themes and comments in some of them are clearly made from an underlying desire to believe what they’re saying as a more palatable reality; something that’s their choice, rather than they haven’t managed to attract a mate yet.

It’s easier to tell ourselves we don’t want something than it is to lament what we don’t have and why.

And sometimes, it genuinely has little or nothing to do with the quality or attractiveness or likability of the man himself. You can be handsome, smart, successful, nice, friendly, and still be single because you just haven't met the woman with which you will find *chemistry*. Men - bless their hearts - are so often stuck on this faulty mindset that "If I check off box A, B, C about myself, then BAM! Women appear and want me!" Dudes, no, that's not how it works. If you're looking for a serious, deep, lasting relationship, at least. I'm not talking about the cheap, vapid, shallow dating/hookup culture. But I can't over-emphasize that there has to be CHEMISTRY between the man and the woman, no matter how many awesomesauce qualities he or she has, in order for things to progress beyond friendship. Being single, being friend-zoned; these are not indications that you are an unappealing or unattractive person in and of themselves. People aren't slot machines, you don't put in a quarter, pull the lever, and if you get three cherries, someone falls in love with you.

Not. How. It. Works.

Sure, we all have qualities that we like and desire in a partner. But someone who happens to possess all those qualities will not automatically make a perfect match for you. There has to be something deeper. You need to connect on a soul-to-soul level. That can't be forced or manufactured.

Connections happen when they're meant to happen.

 

[SarahsKnight]

.... This would be me if I lived in the Final Fantasy universe ->

 

[.Mikha'el.]

.... This would be me if I lived in the Final Fantasy universe ->

View attachment 333834

I can totally see that.

 

[TheLastGeek]

So tired. I was home sick yesterday with some kind of stomach grossness. I've had a relentless headache. I had a client meeting today, so I went to work and thank God, I got through the day. I have another big meeting tomorrow, and I just want it to be over. I need a different job, something closer to home, something that doesn't require me to constantly go out in the 100 degree heat and visit homes and agencies, something where my office isn't constantly hot and stuffy with 70% humidity that makes it hard to breathe.

/rant

 

[.Mikha'el.]

So tired. I was home sick yesterday with some kind of stomach grossness. I've had a relentless headache. I had a client meeting today, so I went to work and thank God, I got through the day. I have another big meeting tomorrow, and I just want it to be over. I need a different job, something closer to home, something that doesn't require me to constantly go out in the 100 degree heat and visit homes and agencies, something where my office isn't constantly hot and stuffy with 70% humidity that makes it hard to breathe.

/rant

I'm sorry you have to contend with that.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I'm sorry you have to contend with that.

Thank you, my friend!

 

[MehGuy]

And sometimes, it genuinely has little or nothing to do with the quality or attractiveness or likability of the man himself. You can be handsome, smart, successful, nice, friendly, and still be single because you just haven't met the woman with which you will find *chemistry*. Men - bless their hearts - are so often stuck on this faulty mindset that "If I check off box A, B, C about myself, then BAM! Women appear and want me!" Dudes, no, that's not how it works. If you're looking for a serious, deep, lasting relationship, at least. I'm not talking about the cheap, vapid, shallow dating/hookup culture. But I can't over-emphasize that there has to be CHEMISTRY between the man and the woman, no matter how many awesomesauce qualities he or she has, in order for things to progress beyond friendship. Being single, being friend-zoned; these are not indications that you are an unappealing or unattractive person in and of themselves. People aren't slot machines, you don't put in a quarter, pull the lever, and if you get three cherries, someone falls in love with you.

Not. How. It. Works.

Sure, we all have qualities that we like and desire in a partner. But someone who happens to possess all those qualities will not automatically make a perfect match for you. There has to be something deeper. You need to connect on a soul-to-soul level. That can't be forced or manufactured.

Connections happen when they're meant to happen.

Is this also true for the women I don't find appealing doing the same to me? Because it happens to men too, especially the older they get with their peer group.

 

[MehGuy]

Let's not pick and choose here all feelings of entitlement need to be challenged. Women are not entitled to be told they're beautiful and attractive if a man doesn't think they are.

There goes the body positive movement.

Really though... women are not entitled to a man's protection and care.

There goes feminism.