I am sad this morning (& last night too)
God doesn't help w/ this
I am guessing it's girl trouble or lack of a girl?
Being in your shoes with no single women and no infatuation towards one. While it does sound depressing, there is an upside. You're not ensared by infatuation.
I am being totally infatuated with this woman who I know nothing about and can't even muster up the guts to talk to her.
I remember when I had no infatuation, life was simpler, since I was not pining over her. It was also very lonely. But at least my thought were not all over the place working as a snare against myself.
Now I go from being hopeful and optimistic, elated even, to griping over things I know nothing about.
I mean she could be a sugar babe for all I know. She could have a boyfriend/fiance. She is more than likely an atheist. I am having these worse case scenarios in my head to to prepare me for the answers I dread, but want and I would go as far to say need, so I can move on.
Granted I do have her in the scope wich is where hope and optimism comes into play, but I could also be setting myself up for failure, wich is more than likely.
I have prayed God to release me from this infatuation, this snare, but I am not free from it. I sometimes I even think maybe she is the one since I am still ensnared and it's God's will, that is when I am most ignorant.
I also pray to God and wonder why things haven't gone my way. Okay so maybe this woman and me is not meant to be but at least get me out of the misery, let me move on. But
Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I don't know God's intentions in this? It is more than likely a test of some kind.
Just keep on having faith. Could it be the same in your case, it could be a test right?
Think about Issac he married Rebekah when he was 40 years old, but didn't get children until he was 60 years old. I hope I get kids before the age of 60 if it's God's will. It's all about having faith and persevere.
Psalms 34:17-18
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I do feel crushed and broken hearted, not all the time, but enough to get me down.
That's me in a nutshell when it comes to this woman. But I also get back up again.
I am still standing, praying when I get out of bed and when I go to bed and in between. Wich I have never done before. That's something I started on last year after I joined this forum and through private messages with someone I understood the importance of praying and follow through.
I think God in his own way is giving me what I need to get through this.
I also know if this woman is not the one. Then God has one for me that is. Deep down I am quite confident that God will take care of it because he cares.
I hope you can use my ramblings or even parts of it, to keep up your spirit.
