What's on your mind?

[shineyourlight]

Jesus is just so incredibly good.

 

[Vinter]

.

 

[SarahsKnight]

@SarahsKnight

I thought of you this morning and this verse came to mind: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

You excel at that. I’m sure @GospelS would agree. I’ve watched you do this constantly. If someone’s low, you have an encouraging word. When something good occurs, you’re cheering right along.

I notice it for several reasons. Most importantly, your heart and what it says about your character. Many have no problem saying things when you’re down. But when you’re up it’s a different story. A lot of people can’t celebrate with those who have the things they lack.

I suspect it’s a combination of good naturedness, empathy, and an absence of jealousy. It’s refreshing to witness. That’s the attitude you want in friends and a companion.

I pray the Lord blesses you richly in each. Because you’re deserving. And I’ll ask the same on your behalf. It’s been a long time since I prayed for marriage for a man. But your behavior and spirit compel me to do so.

You’re ready.

I really do feel humbled by this. Thank you, Bella.

*bows*

 

[SarahsKnight]

Jesus is just so incredibly good.

You know it.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Again if I may ask for prayers, I suddenly have another seven days of work in a row starting tomorrow night. This can be very exhausting, but part of the reason is to cover someone who is now out due to Covid. I heard she isn't feeling the symptoms too hard right now, thankfully, but please pray for her quick recovery.

 

[bèlla]

SH is one of the cool cats.

I wanted to reply to SH's post. It meant alot to me.

I was so engulfed in your posts, SH landed on the back burner.

He’s exceedingly kind and definitely a cool cat.

I’ll respond in the morning over coffee. I want to chew on some things.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Thank you. That's my Sugar Bear! He's a Sweetheart.

Nice. Terms of endearment.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Absolutely exhausted, cannot wait to sleep in my own bed tonight!

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Im watching Lilo and stitch and enjoying it.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

I have a bit (LOT) of insomnia tonight. I've been up since a bit after 1am central time. It's now just shy of 3 am and I have pretty much all my 'Monday morning' stuff taken care of. Now I'm bored. This is going to be a really long day I have a suspicion.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

I'd rather be alone than in a living hell.

I was reading and catching up. I kind of feel like I'm eavesdropping by reading the goings on around here sometimes. Anyhow, as I was reading, something jumped off the screen at me. That simple sentence hits me right in the feels.

Insomnia has me a bit upset, so maybe I'm just being 'too sensitive', but then again...

 

[bèlla]

I was reading and catching up. I kind of feel like I'm eavesdropping by reading the goings on around here sometimes. Anyhow, as I was reading, something jumped off the screen at me. That simple sentence hits me right in the feels.

Insomnia has me a bit upset, so maybe I'm just being 'too sensitive', but then again...

I hope the insomnia abates and you’re resting comfortably tonight.

Most people are so busy pacifying their fear of being alone they give less attention to the ‘person’ filling the void. When the ooey gooey wears off and they realize what they’ve signed up for; they’re miserable, in therapy, or heading for divorce.

You can’t choose a life partner based on emotions—your feelings for them or fear of being alone. The heart is deceitful. One of the reasons arranged marriages work so well is objective discernment. They aren’t emotionally attached to the person and they’re less likely to turn a blind eye to red flags or make excuses either.

Human beings are creatures of habit. If they lack a pattern of growth and change they’re unlikely to adopt it later. If they lack a pattern of admitting their mistakes and working on their shortcomings you shouldn’t expect a difference.

Christians are swayed by appearances. He ‘seemed’ to love the Lord. He read his bible. He was active in church. That says nothing about his innards. If-then should be part of the discernment process.

If you love the Lord, then…

There’s no wiggle room when you apply the word. Assess their character, behavior, and decision making with that formula. That’s how you pinpoint cracks in the facade, lip speak, and areas of struggle.

Then you look for effort. Are they addressing the problem, ignoring it, or blind to its presence? We’re all works-in-progress. But you cannot lead or follow if you’re unwilling to face the music. You’ll be frustrated and have power struggles.

The majority of marital issues reveal themselves in the dating stage. But they closed their eyes, were clueless, or believed they could change them. The fallacy creates the living hell.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

That is insightful, or at least it seems that way to me. My own experiences with relationships are very limited. I've seldom ever been able to view women as anything but friends. They held very little appeal to me outside the boundaries of friendship. It's still that way, and it isn't understood or believed any more today than it was 25 years ago. *shrugs*

I wish I would have had courage back in my late teens to say that. Instead, I let the world tell me that there was something 'wrong' with me. I spent years trying to figure it out. Eventually, I let myself get embroiled in a situation I didn't want to be in, with someone I knew deep down wasn't any good for me.

I put myself through a sort of 'hell' and did it essentially because I was putting entirely too much stock in what other people thought of my life and how it should be conducted.

...I am still really, really, really mad at myself for it.

 

[Vinter]

.

 

[bèlla]

I understand one tech issue. It happens. But multiples are a little annoying.

No Internet service during business hours for 2 days due to updates. Fine, I'll use the mobile hotspot.

Roku playback issues due to software bug. Some users can't add channels either. Tested the factory reset and zilch. No channels at all. I'm looking at a blank screen.

Need to purchase a business product. Coding error on the checkout page. I'm already logged in. Won't recognize my account and I'm an affiliate.

 

[bèlla]

I put myself through a sort of 'hell' and did it essentially because I was putting entirely too much stock in what other people thought of my life and how it should be conducted.

...I am still really, really, really mad at myself for it.

It takes a lot of courage to admit that. There's a lot of people who feel the same and others who don't have good relational skills to have healthy marriages. The latter are the ones who rarely acknowledge it.

 

[bèlla]

Thanks. I never thought about myself as having a teachable spirit.

It's evident in your replies.

Less mature is fine. It might even be beneficial, as I will have to step up and be the mature one and be the man and the leader.

You're more sensitive to criticism from your companion than anyone else. You're apt to take it personal. Accepting responsibility through work, church, or volunteer efforts is best. They'll provide constructive feedback.

You can't prove yourself through a relationship. They'll never tell you how bad you are. They'll hold back to spare your feelings. If you want to be a good leader you need to hear the truth. You learn outside relationships and apply what you've learned to them.

Strengthening my prayer muscles. Is there anything particular that really works?

Pray in the good and pray out the bad. Start with the fruits of the spirit and seven deadly sins. Ask Him to prepare you for marriage and bring the issues you need to confront to your attention. Ask Him to you train your hands for war and your fingers for battle and help you stand against the evil one. The warfare doesn't start at the altar. He'll try to tear your apart before you get there.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

It takes a lot of courage to admit that. There's a lot of people who feel the same and others who don't have good relational skills to have healthy marriages. The latter are the ones who rarely acknowledge it.

Not sure that courage is necessarily a good fit. Is it courageous to admit the truth about yourself? I don't know that it is. "Admitting a problem is the first step in fixing it"...what if I'm not looking to fix it? What if I don't see anything wrong to be remedied? Does that throw a wrench in the gearworks?

It does what it has always done, which is open me up to criticism and being pushed further to the fringes.

Admitting it didn't take any act of courage on my part. Saying it feels as easy as breathing. I had YEARS of isolation to look into myself and see all the parts that people either didn't want to see because it clashed with their paradigm of the world, or they thought that the entirety of my problem(s) was/were naivety and that all I needed to do was to 'do it' (whatever 'it' was at the moment), and that by 'doing' I would understand.

I didn't. I don't. I won't.

 

[bèlla]

This Is the one I have been dreading. But I have to be honest. I have never been one to think about the long run.

The bible says without vision the people perish. How are you going to lead someone if you don't like thinking ahead?

I have a hard time wondering how to improve myself with so little leeway financially. Since I dropped buying comics I can save money there, it's enough for me to buy her a dress, or invite her out or save up for a vacation, but it won't be a life in luxury. That's why I wrote it would be nice to be a breadwinner, because it won't happen.

Are you under a physician's care? Are you plugged in a church? Perhaps you need to think outside the box. Like him.

I have thought about getting a hunting permit, that's alot easier. Also I can get out more and do something more manly than curling up in a corner reading about people in spandex flying through the air.

Staying at home limits your opportunities to meet others. You're relying on the Internet. It's notoriously biased against most. You'll have better chances forging connections in person. You'll have to admit your circumstances. Without physical interactions they're apt to draw the wrong conclusions.

If I may ask. Where you sick for a long time?

Several years. They didn't know a lot about the diseases. But the people who recovered did so within five years. Afterwards, it was less likely. Once the Holy Spirit told me to pray for healing it happened in a year.

I didn't want to marry when I was young either. I didn't want to settle down, I wanted to live freely.

What changed?

I don't realy frequent the marriage forum that much. Yeah I would rather be alone too than having all those issues.

Why not? They're living out the thing you want. You should be a fly on the wall. So your expectations are realistic and not fantasy driven.

I don't have any relationships either. I can relate to people when I talk to them though. Oddly enough when I meet people it's usualy people that like to drink and party an I don't like that.

You need to form some. That's where you work out the kinks in your personality. You learn how to listen, share, be transparent, accommodating, patient, etc. People who walk alone are usually self-absorbed. They have nothing to focus on but themselves. They spend a lot of time thinking about themselves too.

For example, a lot of people here say they'd like to make friends. But in most instances the majority of their posts are about themselves. They're not comforting or encouraging anyone. They're talking about their problems or asking for prayers. They don't pour into others and if they do it benefits them.

That's why they're not walking in victory. Jesus told Peter to feed his sheep. If you understand the Parable of the Sower and how seed is sown you'll get that. The method is called broadcasting. You distribute it widely.

I met DH doing the same things I do here in another venue. I meet a lot of people that way. No one wants to hang out with complainers and takers. They want people who enrich their lives. Someone who's interested in their day and what's going on with them. Not just talking about themselves.

Your relationships matter and so do hers. They're influences. You want to have strong connections anchored in God. Not people pleasers or yes men. Be mindful of loners. If you're they're only friend what happens when you get a lady? Don't get people accustomed to things you won't maintain. Better to establish less contact (once per week) than get them used to speaking everyday and shift. Humans don't enjoy change.

I think we all have somehting to deal, some more than others. Just look at my opening in this post. I would not want someone who is mentally ill like me, I think one in the relationship is enough.

You're more likely to find someone who empathizes with your condition with similar struggles than not. They don't know what they're taking on. The reality could be overwhelming and destroy the relationship. If you've never lived with it (mental illness) you don't know what it's like day to day.

I had a close friend who was bipolar. She was cool most times. But when she didn't take her meds she was mess. She nearly destroyed her relationship with her recklessness. I bartered with her partner to save it. I said give me a year to work with her and if there's no change you can walk and I'll support you.

She changed for the better. Finished school, got a job, med free and settled. It took a lot of love and wrestling. We spoke everyday. I don't think everyone could do the same. You need the right temperament and gifts. Her partner was a special ed teacher. The understanding and patience were ingrained. That's why the tough love came from me. I could call her out her nonsense.

That's a different spirit. It's fine for my friends. But I don't tough love my man. I put him in God's hands. I couldn't wrestle like that with my partner. It would unsettle me.

Feminism breeds arrogance. We have feminists in Denmark and they are no fan of patriarchy or the bible and yes they are very aggreassive and abrasive.

I support a woman's right to choose employment or to stay at home. Neither are for all. God calls some to the home and others to the marketplace. The battle of sexes is demonic. I won't malign either. You have good and bad in both groups.

That's why I wrote I only dare dream of a woman like that. I want to be deserving of a woman like that, but I don't know if I will ever be because of my limitations financially and being paranoid schizophrenic, well that's not something women dream about.

There's two ways to look at it. What is the Lord trying to teach me through this situation? How can I use my circumstances to serve others? Maybe you're meant to educate the population. Like Joni Eareckson Tada. She put disability on the map and championed change. Perhaps you can too.

 

[bèlla]

Not sure that courage is necessarily a good fit. Is it courageous to admit the truth about yourself? I don't know that it is. "Admitting a problem is the first step in fixing it"...what if I'm not looking to fix it? What if I don't see anything wrong to be remedied? Does that throw a wrench in the gearworks?

5% of the population sets goals and 3% achieves them. Most people aren't actively pursuing change. The majority live with things as-is. The only difference in your comment is the unwillingness to pretend. That's important.

Sometimes you don't want to change. Even if you should. People go through the motions and attribute talking to doing. That's why I emphasize action and fruit. If you're really praying, studying, and doing the way some proclaim. You won't be in a rut or clueless. There's spiritual laws at work. You'll see a pattern of steady progression.

The gains deepen your knowing and faith. When He shows up here you can trust Him there. The closer you are to God the further you see in the spirit realm. Then you understand what's working against you and He shows you how to deal with it.

It does what it has always done, which is open me up to criticism and being pushed further to the fringes.

I have no criticism for you. I think your transparency is admirable. You can grow by leaps and bounds when you get real and minister to others like no other. Truth testifies to truth. The ones who criticize can't do the same. They're too concerned with being liked and appearances.

Admitting it didn't take any act of courage on my part. Saying it feels as easy as breathing. I had YEARS of isolation to look into myself and see all the parts that people either didn't want to see because it clashed with their paradigm of the world, or they thought that the entirety of my problem(s) was/were naivety and that all I needed to do was to 'do it' (whatever 'it' was at the moment), and that by 'doing' I would understand.

Riddle me this. Why did He allow it? What are you meant to do with that insight? I'm grinning like a goose!