What's on your mind?

[bèlla]

It'd be easier to establish repetoir in person.

If you're restricting your search to in person meetings you must accept the consequences of that choice. You can't complain you're not meeting anyone if you've limited yourself. You're struggling to deal with that. You may want to rethink it.

 

[ReesePiece23]

It'd be easier to establish repetoir in person.

This is one of the reasons why I suggested travelling a while ago.

I'll probably end up meeting my future partner travelling; because I think (no, I KNOW) I'll be going back to the Far East for a very long time when the world settles down - and to be honest, Hong Kong looks like a viable emigration location. I seriously wish I'd stayed there the first time and never came back. (Live and learn.)

When you realise just how big the world is, the mind will expand with it. All of a sudden the person you were when you left the airport will look like a previous incarnation.

And I mean travelling; holidays and tourist trips don't count.

 

[bèlla]

You might see something in them – some gift or potential that you try to motivate them towards.

I'm rethinking my investments. I want to narrow my focus and lend assistance to the people who inspire me. I'm interested in supporting female entrepreneurs. That's my tribe. Some of the things I thought of doing for Christian women will be repackaged. They're a natural fit and the message suits them.

That's the woman I've wanted to help. She ignites my passion and creativity. The relational, inspirational, and lifestyle stuff works for her. She'll appreciate the input.

That's an ideal demographic for you too. She has the means and personal investment is a big priority. The price point is higher.

 

[bèlla]

@cara-mia Fall collections look much better. Dior is fab!

The semi-slim cut looks good for Hermes’s coat and jacket. You can wear something bulky underneath.

Dior went retro. I love the dresses with scarves and shades. That’s so us!!!

But this is a mystery. Where do you wear it? You’re going to scare someone! And you’d probably have a hard time getting in a store. It has to be a Halloween getup.

 

[DragonFox91]

This is one of the reasons why I suggested travelling a while ago.

I'll probably end up meeting my future partner travelling; because I think (no, I KNOW) I'll be going back to the Far East for a very long time when the world settles down - and to be honest, Hong Kong looks like a viable emigration location. I seriously wish I'd stayed there the first time and never came back. (Live and learn.)

When you realise just how big the world is, the mind will expand with it. All of a sudden the person you were when you left the airport will look like a previous incarnation.

And I mean travelling; holidays and tourist trips don't count.

Isn't that what travelling is tho?
Seems like it'd be hard to establish repetoir on a tourist trip, although I know it can be done, just hard.

If you're restricting your search to in person meetings you must accept the consequences of that choice. You can't complain you're not meeting anyone if you've limited yourself. You're struggling to deal with that. You may want to rethink it.

Should it really be this challenging meeting single girls in person????

 

[bèlla]

Should it really be this challenging meeting single girls in person????

I can't answer that.

All I'm saying is give yourself some wiggle room. If not meeting prospects stresses you out color outside the lines. Then you have different avenues to draw from. It won't be so demoralizing and that's important. If you get down on yourself you won't convey the attitude and spirit that's attractive.

How's the Christian demographic in your area? Small, medium, large? On the decline?

 

[DragonFox91]

I can't answer that.

why?

All I'm saying is give yourself some wiggle room. If not meeting prospects stresses you out color outside the lines. Then you have different avenues to draw from. It won't be so demoralizing and that's important. If you get down on yourself you won't convey the attitude and spirit that's attractive.

I agree, but I question if it's any easier off forums. It'd be harder to establish repetoir.

How's the Christian demographic in your area? Small, medium, large? On the decline?

I've heard I live in the Bible Belt of the Midwest. It's a historically Christian area. But I feel like it's declining, still at least 50-50 probably. Quite a few Christian colleges. Really a shame I was led to a secular university. I liked it, it was worthwhile, I could see that was my path, why it was my path, but definitely can't help but wondering if attending a Christian college, my dating life would've been improved. Probably not, I was still attending churches & church groups that were for students & met a lot of believers at secular college, but still, it's a much smaller number.

 

[bèlla]

why?

Three reasons.

I'm going by limited information.
Some truths are best conveyed by ones sex.
I don't usually help men with relational issues.

I chime in on your threads more than most because I think you're genuine and would like to see you settled. But your situation is beyond my scope. None of the women I aided struggled to find partners. They were shooting themselves in the foot in other ways. And I haven't encountered the same from men to have something to draw on.

Aiding men is a mixed bag. Not because I'm clueless. But hearing it from me can be difficult. Whereas women can swallow it with less upset. I'm not the sort to wrestle or beg someone to listen.

I agree, but I question if it's any easier off forums. It'd be harder to establish repetoir.

I met @cara-mia in a chat room. We conversed primarily by phone, messenger, and webcam. We didn't spend our time typing. We've been friends for 19 years because of that.

I've met men from forums and women too. The same holds true. I value authenticity and honesty. They're not mysterious names on the screen. We share our lives beyond this realm. I don't support online only connections. They're fraught with deception and often lead to pain.

Most people who restrict communication to websites and never converse real time are married, living with someone, or not the gender they're presenting. That's especially true for men. Anyone too scared to connect shouldn't be online looking for partners.

If she won't give you a pic. Leave her alone.
If she won't talk outside the site. Leave her alone.
If she freaks about Skype. Run.

Pics should be recent. No older than 2 years. People will pass off older shots.

 

[bèlla]

The grill came today. The unit is big. Perfect for a small household when you don’t need something roomier or live in a cold climate.

 

[bèlla]

@alllivesmatter

I meant to tag you the other day when I visited the vitamin website. I tried a new brand that’s all natural and no additives. While poking around I noticed they offered special savings. You may want to check them out.

My energy level significantly increased!

 

[returntosender]

It happens when the parents don't and the children carry it on to their children and on and on, sigh.

 

[returntosender]

I am having computer problems, the comment from me above is directed @ public hermit

 

[returntosender]

@alllivesmatter

I meant to tag you the other day when I visited the vitamin website. I tried a new brand that’s all natural and no additives. While poking around I noticed they offered special savings. You may want to check them out.

My energy level significantly increased!

Thanks for the link, I forgot I posted here.

 

[DragonFox91]

Three reasons.

I'm going by limited information.
Some truths are best conveyed by ones sex.
I don't usually help men with relational issues.

I chime in on your threads more than most because I think you're genuine and would like to see you settled. But your situation is beyond my scope. None of the women I aided struggled to find partners. They were shooting themselves in the foot in other ways. And I haven't encountered the same from men to have something to draw on.

Aiding men is a mixed bag. Not because I'm clueless. But hearing it from me can be difficult. Whereas women can swallow it with less upset. I'm not the sort to wrestle or beg someone to listen.

If you're male or female, doesn't seem that'd be an issue in theorizing.

I met @cara-mia in a chat room. We conversed primarily by phone, messenger, and webcam. We didn't spend our time typing. We've been friends for 19 years because of that.

I've met men from forums and women too. The same holds true. I value authenticity and honesty. They're not mysterious names on the screen. We share our lives beyond this realm. I don't support online only connections. They're fraught with deception and often lead to pain.

Most people who restrict communication to websites and never converse real time are married, living with someone, or not the gender they're presenting. That's especially true for men. Anyone too scared to connect shouldn't be online looking for partners.

If she won't give you a pic. Leave her alone.
If she won't talk outside the site. Leave her alone.
If she freaks about Skype. Run.

Pics should be recent. No older than 2 years. People will pass off older shots.

maybe

 

[bèlla]

If you're male or female, doesn't seem that'd be an issue in theorizing.

If I answer a question I’m speaking from experience. Something I’ve done, helped another with, or have knowledge of. If the topic is outside my scope I don’t touch it. There’s a lot I don’t weigh in on due to lack of interest or expertise.

Interpersonal deficits are usually the result of something we do or don’t do which compels the person’s no. They don’t want to be our friend, get acquainted, or be romantically involved. Discerning the reasons is difficult. You have to be willing to face unpleasant things about yourself and most aren’t. Blaming others is easier.

You asked a little while ago why I revisited my wants and needs. That’s the reason why. Self-examination reveals where I’m hitting the mark or missing it. My advisors do the same. They tell me the hard stuff I need to hear.

Sometimes we’re in the dark because we won’t allow people to be honest. We respond strongly to feedback that opposes our own. No one’s going to get beat up or go through a wrestling match to get through to someone.

The first rule of hearing the truth is an ability to handle it maturely without shooting the messenger. If a person was told what they want to hear for a long time it’s difficult to hit them with a truth bomb without upset.

Once again, if I were in your shoes I would direct my questions to men who’ve had the problem and overcame it and happily married men. I wouldn’t query people in the same boat. And I’d avoid commiseration. I would focus on overcoming the problem. Not wallowing in it or talking it to death.

That’s how I solve my dilemmas. I don’t welcome theories or supposition. I prefer facts and results. The person who’s doing what I’m trying to accomplish or in the process of doing so is more beneficial than the ones discussing it. That doesn’t help me move the needle.

When you’re struggling you have to connect with people who aren’t in that place. If everyone is flailing how can they help you? It’s easier to crawl out of a hole when everyone around you is out of it. Rather than being the lone one to make the trek.

 

[Niels]

Our research group has been working on another VR app, and I asked for additional programming responsibilities this time around. Partly as an excuse to spend quality time with 3D animations in Unity. So far I've done storyboarding, modeling, scripting, and other aspects of game design. Learning as I go, mind you, but it's something. Ironically, to date not much of my work has involved characters and animations. I say ironically because I have years worth of characters and ideas that I could potentially build games around. They might be kind of niche, I suppose, but they would be fun. It all somehow fits into the long term plan. Gain experience, contribute to a worthy cause in the process, and then go do my own thing. What this will mean for my academic future remains uncertain, as that largely depends on grants.

The thing is, I sometimes feel like leaving my current lifestyle behind, buying an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, doing remote consulting work, and devoting more of my time to creative things. If I live far from a big city, where there's less light pollution, that would also be good for my amateur astronomy hobby. This isn't a plan. Just something I think about from time to time.

But this is a mystery. Where do you wear it?

View attachment 296095

 

[bèlla]

.

What a horrifying image. I don’t know what’s worse. The fact they’re twinning or someone imagined it.

Our research group has been working on another VR app, and I asked for additional programming responsibilities this time around. Partly as an excuse to spend quality time with 3D animations in Unity. So far I've done storyboarding, modeling, scripting, and other aspects of game design. Learning as I go, mind you, but it's something.

That’s really cool. What have you enjoyed most about the added responsibilities? Learning anything new?

Ironically, to date not much of my work has involved characters and animations. I say ironically because I have years worth of characters and ideas that I could potentially build games around. They might be kind of niche, I suppose, but they would be fun.

Niche products are great in the long run. They develop a solid following and customer input is usually better as is satisfaction. What kind of games would you make?

Games wise, I have zero technical skills but I’ve looked at the market. Particularly for apps and I expect continued growth. I explored the development cycle a couple of years ago for a rudimentary sketch of the creation process.

I consider them level two’s in the product catalog. There’s three tiers. The differentiation is the cash outlay. The upfront and carrying costs are greater. Many introduce level one products to fund the second and it funds the third. That leverages and diversifies income.

I’d hire it out and recoup my expenses through a paid beta. I can’t build it. If I saw visible demand and research confirms the same I’d do it. I’ve played with fashion and decorating games for that reason.

It all somehow fits into the long term plan. Gain experience, contribute to a worthy cause in the process, and then go do my own thing. What this will mean for my academic future remains uncertain, as that largely depends on grants.

Does walking away hinder your academic future? What’s your ideal risks aside?

The thing is, I sometimes feel like leaving my current lifestyle behind, buying an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, doing remote consulting work, and devoting more of my time to creative things. If I live far from a big city, where there's less light pollution, that would also be good for my amateur astronomy hobby. This isn't a plan. Just something I think about from time to time.

That’s pretty common and a good indicator of a future exodus. If it’s deeply felt it won’t go away. It bubbles to the surface every now and then.

What you’re imagining is doable. You have the skills to bolt and the discipline to make it on your own. You’re not walking away with nothing or scrambling to make ends meet. That’s the ideal scenario.

My tenure in the city is done. I have to maintain a place. But I want to live in a quieter area. With less hustle and bustle and noise. I’ve been in the thick of it all my life and the change is appealing. And I want to grow my own food.

Astronomy is neat. How long have you been into it? Do you do astrophotography?

 

[DragonFox91]

If I answer a question I’m speaking from experience. Something I’ve done, helped another with, or have knowledge of. If the topic is outside my scope I don’t touch it. There’s a lot I don’t weigh in on due to lack of interest or expertise.

Interpersonal deficits are usually the result of something we do or don’t do which compels the person’s no. They don’t want to be our friend, get acquainted, or be romantically involved. Discerning the reasons is difficult. You have to be willing to face unpleasant things about yourself and most aren’t. Blaming others is easier.

You asked a little while ago why I revisited my wants and needs. That’s the reason why. Self-examination reveals where I’m hitting the mark or missing it. My advisors do the same. They tell me the hard stuff I need to hear.

Sometimes we’re in the dark because we won’t allow people to be honest. We respond strongly to feedback that opposes our own. No one’s going to get beat up or go through a wrestling match to get through to someone.

The first rule of hearing the truth is an ability to handle it maturely without shooting the messenger. If a person was told what they want to hear for a long time it’s difficult to hit them with a truth bomb without upset.

Once again, if I were in your shoes I would direct my questions to men who’ve had the problem and overcame it and happily married men. I wouldn’t query people in the same boat. And I’d avoid commiseration. I would focus on overcoming the problem. Not wallowing in it or talking it to death.

That’s how I solve my dilemmas. I don’t welcome theories or supposition. I prefer facts and results. The person who’s doing what I’m trying to accomplish or in the process of doing so is more beneficial than the ones discussing it. That doesn’t help me move the needle.

When you’re struggling you have to connect with people who aren’t in that place. If everyone is flailing how can they help you? It’s easier to crawl out of a hole when everyone around you is out of it. Rather than being the lone one to make the trek.

It just seemed like a single woman would be able to offer how to meet single women in person & not having to rely on Internet. Friends who've solved the problem don't seem to understand. "Just keep meeting people."

 

[DragonFox91]

Large chunk of NHL games going to streaming services next season. Might have to finally cut the cord.

 

[bèlla]

It just seemed like a single woman would be able to offer how to meet single women in person & not having to rely on Internet. Friends who've solved the problem don't seem to understand. "Just keep meeting people."

The lack of female response is the problem. You’re not meeting women who want to connect with you. Even in routine activities. Like going to the store or grabbing coffee.

That comes down to three reasons:

A failure to take the initiative.
A failure to reciprocate.
A failure to connect.

If you aren’t taking action when you see someone you’re attracted to nothing will change. You said you wanted to meet someone in church. And you were told (and acknowledged) the dearth of single women in small groups.

Up until the point you believed the girl was a possibility you were fine with that. Even when you were advised to spread your net. You said no.

People meet prospects in different ways. When they’re out and about, pursuing hobbies, through events, work, friends, church, or through dating sites, social media, or forums.

You’re looking for a Christian. It’s easier to start with a Christian setting if you don’t want to weed through unqualified suitors. However, as @Sophrosyne noted, most online venues saw their numbers drop when Facebook took off.

That doesn’t mean you can’t meet someone in a forum. But it isn't the place most singles hangout online. Christian or otherwise. This site is no different. Many of the women posting here are in relationships or vetting suitors. Very few have lengthy periods of singleness with no traction from the opposite sex. The issue appears to affect men more than women in the church.

Using a dating site or online source may not be your cup of tea. But your circumstances may require different solutions. If you have a hard time putting yourself forward this may be a better medium.