What's on your mind?

[bèlla]

Nervous and excited. First time having a real conversation since I was accepted in April with the elite dating app.

Good luck. I hope it goes well.

On another note, I am praying for wisdom concerning the apologist that I asked space for. He called the other day and left a message because he had seen a picture posted on my profile. Although we have communicated that we are not a match, I feel like he is holding out hope. I've kind of seen this in the past with other guys and after some years they have become frustrated and wanted nothing to do with me.

Given his age and the market I'm not surprised. I posted a thread on dating statistics a few weeks ago. Most of the women his age aren't looking. And ageism is a factor. I can't advise you on your situation. But I'll share my experiences for insight.

Definitions for the sake of clarity...

Engagement = Interactions on the Internet
Prospects = Real time interactions
Suitors = Serious contenders

I've had men hold on for three reasons:

I never shared his attraction. No engagement.
I felt we weren't a good fit and they disagreed. Limited engagement.
There were common denominators but not enough to build a relationship. Some engagement.

For every pair that finds their way together down the road. The majority builds a relationship with someone else. I'm two for two on this. But in both instances we were the most compatible suitors for one another. It wasn't one-sided.

Feeding unrequited interest creates emotional and spiritual entanglements. The more you stoke it the more the feelings increase. Until you reach the point where they're the only option. The heart is closed to others. They're your ideal and idol.

With continued feeding you introduce spiritual strongholds. Demonic elements that take advantage of your vulnerability and feed the lie. That's the result of rejection and their inability to make peace with the outcome and move on. They're clinging to the person and idea of connection. Many convince themselves that God agrees. That fuels the fervor.

God won't twist anyone's arm to date someone or marry them. That's a lying spirit. You can't pray them into your heart or life. He won't violate their will on your behalf. The person is beset with delusion and spiritually ensnared. It morphs into fantasy and the happy ending they're imagining or obsession. In both instances, release is nearly impossible. They need deliverance.

I've watched this unfold. It's disturbing to witness. I'm not talking a month or two. They've persisted for more than a year. Some are hungry for love and latch on to someone who makes them feel loved and wanted. Or exhibited the kindness and care they've never received. But that doesn't equate a wife. There must be agreement.

To see someone building their hopes about a future that will never come to pass is sad. They're in bondage. The only way they can break free is by renouncing their feelings and the connection and asking the Lord to deliver them from the stronghold.

I don't talk to them. I'm a stumbling block. The more contact they have the worse they get. I've tried to be helpful. But they interpret it incorrectly. She likes me...There's a possibility...God's working. It's a lie.

I'm planning a future and family with another man. How is God working for you? He's the One who told me to write him. And how to pray for him. And what to pray about where we're concerned. God isn't the author of confusion. The devil is.

I put them in His hands. Only He can heal and restore them.

 

[sampa]

Good luck. I hope it goes well.

Thank you! There's not much to go off of but I think that talking on the phone is going to be a better avenue of communication. Plus gauging compatibility and possibly talking about my non-negotiables.

Given his age and the market I'm not surprised. I posted a thread on dating statistics a few weeks ago. Most of the women his age aren't looking

Yes, he has talked about that many times. Unfortunately he is not looking for women his age. He seems to be stuck on the 40ish age and has tried women in their 50s since going on a date with me. But many times it sounds like he's just doing it for me to prove that it's not working.

And he will never consider anyone who has been divorced. I find it strange that he has dated in the past someone who was an atheist and he still friends with her. I got to meet her by Zoom for his 60th birthday.

I've had men hold on for three reasons:

I never shared his attraction. No engagement.
I felt we weren't a good fit and they disagreed. Limited engagement.
There were common denominators but not enough to build a relationship. Some engagement.

I'm not sure that it's any of these but thanks for relaying your experiences.

Feeding unrequited interest creates emotional and spiritual entanglements. The more you stoke it the more the feelings increase. Until you reach the point where they're the only option. The heart is closed to others. They're your ideal and idol.

Yes I might agree. I thought in May after having space from him and going on dates with this other guy that I was one step away from meeting his kids, that maybe I was going to have to consider saying goodbye. But somehow I couldn't.

With continued feeding you introduce spiritual strongholds. Demonic elements that take advantage of your vulnerability and feed the lie. That's the result of rejection and their inability to make peace with the outcome and move on. They're clinging to the person and idea of connection

I think yes that it is and he tells me time and time again that he knows that we are not compatible.. but I think within the last month in a recent conversation he had said something about that he likes me. He's kept in touch with women he has dated more than 10 years ago. So it's not uncommon for him to have female friends. But I know the one thing that he hangs on to with me is height, athleticism as he describes and possibly intelligence. Otherwise he is looking for someone who can talk about apologetics and politics. Two topics I do not engage with him in. And told him I don't have time at this point or interest to get involved in learning apologetics.

God won't twist anyone's arm to date someone or marry them. That's a lying spirit. You can't pray them into your heart or life. He won't violate their will on your behalf.

Yes very true. There was actually a girlfriend that he dated two states away.. that he said he ended it miserably because she thought he was the last prospect or that they were the last prospect for each other, so she compromised her Christian morality just so that she could see if it would work. He said he needed something more and somebody who really desired him. Very sad for the girl.

It morphs into fantasy and the happy ending they're imagining or obses

Yes. I'm worried that it's at that point because one of our last conversations he took it personally when I said I was trying to get over the architect. His response was, "I guess some people know how to play the game". It hurt.. and I just didn't feel like it was helping me mentally since I was in a bad place. So I called later to ask for some space, because I felt like he was jealous of the attraction that I had so they architect.

Some are hungry for love and latch on to someone who makes them feel loved and wanted. Or

yes I can agree. He continues to say I need a wife pretty much every phone conversation.

Or exhibited the kindness and care they've never received. But that doesn't equate a wife. There must be agreement

Yes

To see someone building their hopes about a future that will never come to pass is sad. They're in bondage. The only way they can break free is by renouncing their feelings and the connection and asking the Lord to deliver them from the stronghold.

Yes, I agree. I'm going to need some serious time in prayer. There's other times that I have asked for space and he respected it except for the first time. But it was just a text, it wasn't calling. His message was strange because he said I hope I'm not relinquishing your request or something like that. He said that he made the call based off of seeing my photo. I put him on pause so that he can't see postings but only my profile photo, which I had changed in celebration of the 14.5 miles that I had run. I didn't think it would inspire him to call.

don't talk to them. I'm a stumbling block. The more contact they have the worse they get. I've tried to be helpful. But they interpret it incorrectly. She likes me...There's a possibility...God's working. It's a lie.

yes I agree. So much spiritual stuff going on. But I feel like the only way that I can develop relationships with others is having space apart from him. It feels like a false relationship in a way that he caters me in a way as if he was courting me.

 

[bèlla]

Thank you! There's not much to go off of but I think that talking on the phone is going to be a better avenue of communication. Plus gauging compatibility and possibly talking about my non-negotiables.

Real time contact is always best. Exchanging notes delays the inevitable. You need to connect beyond this.

Yes, he has talked about that many times. Unfortunately he is not looking for women his age. He seems to be stuck on the 40ish age and has tried women in their 50s since going on a date with me. But many times it sounds like he's just doing it for me to prove that it's not working.

I see a lot of single men 55+ on the other site. That's a tricky age. Especially if you've never married. I talked to one guy in his fifties a few years ago. He downplayed medical problems. That made me wonder what else he'd hidden. I went younger after that.

And he will never consider anyone who has been divorced. I find it strange that he has dated in the past someone who was an atheist and he still friends with her. I got to meet her by Zoom for his 60th birthday.

That's odd. And he's an apologist? What the heck?

I think yes that it is and he tells me time and time again that he knows that we are not compatible.. but I think within the last month in a recent conversation he had said something about that he likes me.

I just went through the same. An old connection had a meltdown. It happens every time I return. I noticed the pattern. This is number three.

Yes very true. There was actually a girlfriend that he dated two states away.. that he said he ended it miserably because she thought he was the last prospect or that they were the last prospect for each other, so she compromised her Christian morality just so that she could see if it would work. He said he needed something more and somebody who really desired him. Very sad for the girl.

A lot of people look for divine significance in their pairings. Sometimes God leads you to someone. But that isn't always the case. It isn't biblical either. He didn't put all those couples together. That's how deception comes in. You attribute works of flesh to Him.

Yes. I'm worried that it's at that point because one of our last conversations he took it personally when I said I was trying to get over the architect. His response was, "I guess some people know how to play the game".

He's the sort that won't come around unless he finds someone. You said you'd have to break the connection if you married. Because he couldn't handle it.

Yes I can agree. He continues to say I need a wife pretty much every phone conversation.

Ugh. Subliminal programming.

Yes, I agree. I'm going to need some serious time in prayer.

It sounds like he's holding on. Pray against the spirit of rejection, fantasy, and deception. Hopefully he can move on.

Yes I agree. So much spiritual stuff going on. But I feel like the only way that I can develop relationships with others is having space apart from him. It feels like a false relationship in a way that he caters me in a way as if he was courting me.

I started wondering a few months ago if this person's feelings remained. Because of his comments. We underestimated him. I suspect they ran deeper. Seeing me interact with others sets him off. I can't handle that. We'll talk again. Maybe a year or so after I'm married.

You may want to watch this.

 

[sampa]

see a lot of single men 55+ on the other site. That's a tricky age. Especially if you've never married. I talked to one guy in his fifties a few years ago. He downplayed medical problems. That made me wonder what else he'd hidden. I went younger after that.

Yes, it's true. He's also told me time and time again that he doesn't think I will have a problem finding someone to marry whereas for himself with his attention deficit disorder, he thinks it's caused him problems with relationships. His looks are quite nice and he has been an extra in different movies. I do also think it's my fault to think that I could come and visit him and go to charm School and such just as a friend. I think it stoked the fire even more.

That's odd. And he's an apologist? What the heck?

Yes, I think so too. He was also very surprised when he heard about Ravi Zachariah and his scandalous past. I also found it interesting that the atheist was the only one that didn't try to physically come on to him like those that were Christian. Really he's not an apologist, I have just labeled him as that because of his passion for it and that he wrote a companion study guide for a well-known apologist. I didn't know how well known the apologist was till I was talking about it at a work picnic, and a guy's head spun in and said you know him? Not the guy that I went on the date with.

just went through the same. An old connection had a meltdown. It happens every time I return. I noticed the pattern. This is number three.

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what a melt out looks like but I have seen guys that have gotten possessive that were just my friends but I think wanted more.
Another guy that I had also not dated but was friends with and we ran together for 2 years and went to the same church, he just stopped all communication with me once I told him that there could be nothing more. I still see stuff on social media but he will not like or comment on anything. They both were very young and 10 to 11 years younger. That was back when I was 35.

He's the sort that won't come around unless he finds someone. You said you'd have to break the connection if you married. Because he couldn't handle it.

I agree. And I think I have made a decision that when I talk to him on October 15th by phone I will let him know of my decision to and our relationship. I will be blocking him on my social media and I also will delete the Christian dating app that he is on. There's no way of blocking him on that Christian dating app, just only mail block. He frequents my page checking in looking at my pictures. I think the three other women he has gone on dates with and keeps in contact with, I kind of think that he's not helping them to move on and to be available to someone. The only way that I have been fully available for someone is when I asked him for space. So I'm going to have to pray and think about how I will deliver my last conversation with him. As sad as it is we both have to move on. God never created us for something like this.

Ugh. Subliminal programming.

Yes, I agree. Looking back I kind of think that he's been doing a lot of this. His friends said from the beginning that it was a waste of money coming out to see me, but he refuted time and time again that it was worth every penny. And even after the 60th birthday party, his friend said I was too good for him. I think they see the situation but I don't think it's going to end until I end our relationship.

sounds like he's holding on. Pray against the spirit of rejection, fantasy, and deception. Hopefully he can move on.

yes, my worst fear is that even after blocking everything if he could have that potential to stalk me somehow. I really don't know how 800 miles away, but I pray that doesn't happen. I had it from an ex when I was 19 years old that pretended to be dead and called the Red Cross pretending to be a doctor. Up till my forties I was very protective of most of my living situation and information because I felt many coworkers had that potential. As I age I don't feel as threatened as I did in my younger years.

started wondering a few months ago if this person's feelings remained. Because of his comments. We underestimated him. I suspect they ran deeper. Seeing me interact with others sets him off. I can't handle that. We'll talk again. Maybe a year or so after I'm married.

Yes, I have seen this too. A guy that was 19 that I worked with, by me just talking to another guy that was 24 (I was 35) the Holy Spirit warned me not to speak to him in front of him. This was just our common area break room at work, I think it was about politics I can't remember, it set him off enough that he slipped a note in my backpack. It alarmed my boss so much that he had to get rid of him.

I'm really not even sure that I should be talking to the apologist even after I get married. I feel like it's offering too much hope and that in order for him to grow and move on we need to close this chapter.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

So tired today.

 

[bèlla]

Yes, it's true. He's also told me time and time again that he doesn't think I will have a problem finding someone to marry whereas for himself with his attention deficit disorder, he thinks it's caused him problems with relationships. His looks are quite nice and he has been an extra in different movies. I do also think it's my fault to think that I could come and visit him and go to charm School and such just as a friend. I think it stoked the fire even more.

I don't know a lot about ADD. This is what the experts say:

Also called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), is a neurological disorder that causes a range of behavior problems, such as having trouble focusing on school or work, following instructions, and completing tasks, as well as difficulties with impulse control and appropriate social interactions.

Is that the lone thing holding him back? I doubt it. Many people with mental health challenges find companions. It's possible he's targeting women who may be more selective or he has other issues on top of it. Probably the latter.

As for charm school, I was a little surprised. Given what you've said it would probably give him hope. You're coming to visit and doing things together. He may interpret it differently. When you like someone you can read a lot into their behavior that isn't there.

Yes, I think so too. He was also very surprised when he heard about Ravi Zachariah and his scandalous past. I also found it interesting that the atheist was the only one that didn't try to physically come on to him like those that were Christian.

I experienced the same. He didn't impose on me in that way. He had a lot of restraint. I respected him for it. But I wouldn't be alone with him. Nature would take over.

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what a melt out looks like but I have seen guys that ave gotten possessive that were just my friends but I think wanted more.

It went on for three days. Everything was related to him. That's the issue. I care about him and want the best for him. But it isn't carnal. I met someone who set my soul on fire. It took awhile to realize it. He's had my heart all along. When we reconnected I felt peace wash over me. He's Home. There's others who wanted to be the same. But they can't. He's it.

I agree. And I think I have made a decision that when I talk to him on October 15th by phone I will let him know of my decision to and our relationship. I will be blocking him on my social media and I also will delete the Christian dating app that he is on. There's no way of blocking him on that Christian dating app, just only mail block. He frequents my page checking in looking at my pictures.

He'll never get over you by doing that. You have to starve it. Don't look at content or talk about them. You have to boot them from your head. Otherwise you're stirring the pot.

I think the three other women he has gone on dates with and keeps in contact with, I kind of think that he's not helping them to move on and to be available to someone. The only way that I have been fully available for someone is when I asked him for space.

I used to tell him things and called him my confessor jokingly. But I stopped. All of this hails from selfishness. His meltdowns and the others. You should be able to acknowledge a prospect or something promising without someone unhinging, trying to block your path, or lock you down for themselves.

So I'm going to have to pray and think about how I will deliver my last conversation with him. As sad as it is we both have to move on. God never created us for something like this.

I'm sorry. I know it isn't easy. And you're right, God doesn't want us stagnate or putting life on hold for a lie. We have to move forward.

Yes, I agree. Looking back I kind of think that he's been doing a lot of this. His friends said from the beginning that it was a waste of money coming out to see me, but he refuted time and time again that it was worth every penny. And even after the 60th birthday party, his friend said I was too good for him. I think they see the situation but I don't think it's going to end until I end our relationship.

Why do they think you're too good for him?

yes, my worst fear is that even after blocking everything if he could have that potential to stalk me somehow. I really don't know how 800 miles away, but I pray that doesn't happen.

He doesn't give me stalker vibes.

Yes, I have seen this too. A guy that was 19 that I worked with, by me just talking to another guy that was 24 (I was 35) the Holy Spirit warned me not to speak to him in front of him. This was just our common area break room at work, I think it was about politics I can't remember, it set him off enough that he slipped a note in my backpack. It alarmed my boss so much that he had to get rid of him.

That's crazy. When someone behaves strangely I tell others. I don't keep it myself. Especially for threats and harassment.

I'm really not even sure that I should be talking to the apologist even after I get married. I feel like it's offering too much hope and that in order for him to grow and move on we need to close this chapter.

You're probably right. We haven't discussed this but I plan to. He's not aware of the things I've experienced the last three years. But he needs to know. He won't sanction a connection where mistreatment and fixations are present. Closing the door is cathartic.

 

[bèlla]

So tired today.

I'm sorry Mikha'el. You had a long day. I hope you're resting. It may take a day of doing nothing to recover.

 

[Niels]

Various things are on my mind.

I've been covering for multiple people at work again. Because of this, I'll have to meet with the research team another day. On the upside, it looks like we're going to be coauthors again. I've been spread a bit thin lately, but I'm optimistic. Only time will tell where this leads.

Hobbies can be such a blessing. Although they require energy in some ways, they reinvigorate me in others for a net gain. From music to model building, they help me thrive in the midst of all that's going on.

Mountain biking has been on hold since I've started working longer hours, but I have a plan that involves riding a nearby trail during lunchtime. Also, maybe after work, but I'll need a better headlight.

Credit for the good in my life goes to my Creator. All of it. Let me learn from the good and bad alike. Hopefully more good than bad, and turn it into fuel for a better tomorrow. Not just for me, but for others who stand to benefit. This is my prayer.

An unusual thing strengthened my faith this year. Surprisingly, something I encountered long ago but only recently looked into. What it might have been hadn't crossed my mind. Even if I'm mistaken, creation sees and praises its creator. Not by coercion, but through natural tendency. Perceptive is the word I would use. What can the design teach us?

Does God want me to help a particular group of people that I've been thinking about? Is what little faith I have enough to make a difference in their lives? A realignment or awakening of sorts, however slight, and the world would feel it. More from them than me. They have so much potential. Would I be a hypocrite, or become a bigger target for criticism? Does that even matter? Probably not, as I would be engaging with a source of positivity. At least that's what it has been for me. On the one hand, this might be a foolishly self-righteous move, but I don't know. I don't need to be explicit about it. Just live my faith, and allow others to do the same. Talk is cheap, and even small gestures (including omissions) can say a lot. I've asked if this little corner of the universe is from God. I've "tested the spirits" so to speak, to see whether it acknowledges the creator in a fundamental way, and the answer is yes. No elaborate plans at the moment, just hoping to return the favor and leave things a little better than I found them. Still proceeding with caution, and seeking the Creator's wisdom as I go. To take what I'm learning now in other areas of my life, and apply it here. Patience is what's needed. There's still more woodshedding to do. Haste makes waste, and quality counts. If not much comes of it, I'll still have a story to tell and l'm thankful for what good I've seen.

Also on my mind: saltwater taffy. A staffer brought us a box the other day, and I'm the only one around to eat it. hehe

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I'm sorry Mikha'el. You had a long day. I hope you're resting. It may take a day of doing nothing to recover.

Thanks. 15 hours at the polling station yesterday was ridiculous, as much as I enjoy it. The good news is that I won't be doing it again for a couple of years.

 

[bèlla]

Thanks. 15 hours at the polling station yesterday was ridiculous, as much as I enjoy it. The good news is that I won't be doing it again for a couple of years.

It's a long day. You're good to volunteer. I hope you had fun.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

It's a long day. You're good to volunteer. I hope you had fun.

It's not volunteer. I will get paid for it. But yes, it is fun. What was surprising was that just about the only person I saw that I recognized all day was a former pastor of mine. One of the funny parts was that they put out a ballot box for mail-in ballots to be dropped off, and we were told that there always had to be someone sitting by it so it couldn't be stolen. For most of the day it sat absolutely empty. I think someone finally dropped off two around 5pm, but that was awfully silly to be guarding an empty box all day.

 

[sampa]

So tired today.

I hope you can get the rest that you need. Sounds like you had a long streak of hours.

social interactions.

I think he said that social interactions is probably how it affects him plus he blurts out things. That may be one of the reasons that he felt prompted to call me after seeing my picture even though I had told him that I needed space. To me it's not so obvious. One of the things he kept saying when he was in the car on our date (1.5 hr drive) to a big city with me is how much he wanted to touch me.

Is that the lone thing holding him back? I doubt it. Many people with mental health challenges find companions. It's possible he's targeting women who may be more selective or he has other issues on top of it. Probably the latter.

probably not. As I've gotten to know him over this past year there's more and more things that have come out about his past relationships. I think he does like the challenge for some reason. The one Christian galve that gave into his desires.. it sounded like he found her unappealing after. He definitely has been more selective, but from what I saw of the one he is friends with that is atheist, I don't see anything physically selective about her. There's so many things that just doesn't make sense, one of them is that it sounded like he wanted an intelligent Christian, but why did he date an atheist. And when he's done the online dating and he's asked for my advice, I didn't get much of a vibe that the person was a serious Christian. It may just go back to he has less and less options as he ages and has to figure what to compromise.

As for charm school, I was a little surprised. Given what you've said it would probably give him hope. You're coming to visit and doing things together. He may interpret it differently. When you like someone you can read a lot into their behavior that isn't there.

Yes, I probably should have never said that I wanted to come and visit and possibly run a marathon out there. And do some of the Southern things. The girl that is atheist had told me she would be willing to pick me up from the airport in the major city that she lives in and take me to his place. I thought it was strange when she said that, but she must think that I am the same type of friend that she is. He seems to have a good group of friends, but he calls them weird and odd. Because he thinks of himself as weird and odd.

That's the issue. I care about him and want the best for him.

I can totally get this. It's so hard when you've invested time in your heart.

He'll never get over you by doing that. You have to starve it. Don't look at content or talk about them. You have to boot them from your head. Otherwise you're stirring the pot.

I'm not understanding this. I'm thinking that if he does not see my picture and he cannot have access to it or any kind of communication, even blocking on my phone, that will let him know that it is over. I will communicate by phone though first that that's what I'm going to do so as not to hurt any feelings and bring closure.

used to tell him things and called him my confessor jokingly. But I stopped. All of this hails from selfishness. His

Yes I can definitely relate and understand.

Why do they think you're too good for him?

I'm not sure he never explained. The only thing I can think is maybe them seeing me on video and thinking that I was really pretty. I wasn't even dressed up I had just finished running.

He doesn't give me stalker vibes

Okay that's good to know. I want the best for him and care about him.

That's crazy. When someone behaves strangely I tell others. I don't keep it myself. Especially for threats and harassment.

Yes, it was a difficult situation because we were on the phone so many days just talking about work things and I was grateful to have someone help me understand the world I was living in at work. It was making me crazy and he helped me to sort through what was happening at work since I had no one to talk to. At the same time he grew attached. He grew up in a bit of a different side of the tracks than me and had a very rough life. So he attached to me very easily.. even with the age difference. At 19 years old he was just a big boy still needing to grow up. But when he got rehired into the agency two or so years later, I knew I would have to be in a pickup truck with him so I came over and welcomed him back to the agency with a handshake. We were on good terms and I got to see him get into a relationship and become a father and husband. He apologized a year or so later when we were working together about her immature he was. At the same time I had to be careful because he was talking about his relationship and how he compromised, kind of like she was bottom of the barrel but he wanted to be with somebody. I basically had no response because I figured his affairs are his affairs and I'm not involved. The last time I ran into him maybe 5 years ago I think was in a store and he was working on a degree and she had completed her nursing degree. It sounded like they were on their way to a better life. He left our agency maybe 6 years ago. I have no contact with him but his father is on social media with me and I might see a post here and there. Nothing with him though. The circumstances and spiritual bondages that I was under during those years is a whole other story. But praise God I've had Deliverance.

Closing the door is cathartic.

Yes!

I've been covering for multiple people at work again. Because of this,

It's good that you're being optimistic about the situation.

Mountain biking has been on hold since I've started working longer hours, but I have a plan that involves riding a nearby trail during lunchtime. Also,

We all have our seasons with this. I'm sure that you will be getting back into this and into a rhythm eventually. Sometimes we need the mental break from consistent training or activity.

Credit for the good in my life goes to my Creator. All of it.

Yes, this is a good thing to think and pray on.

Also on my mind: saltwater taffy.

haha. Sounds like you have a lot on your mind. I have to today...

 

[sampa]

.

 

[bèlla]

I think he said that social interactions is probably how it affects him plus he blurts out things.

That could be problematic depending on the setting. You were kind not to react to his statement.

There's so many things that just doesn't make sense, one of them is that it sounded like he wanted an intelligent Christian, but why did he date an atheist. And when he's done the online dating and he's asked for my advice, I didn't get much of a vibe that the person was a serious Christian. It may just go back to he has less and less options as he ages and has to figure what to compromise.

I don't know. But I'm not surprised either. Impressions aren't always genuine. People withhold a lot. And they're willing to compromise more than they admit. Especially if they've been alone a long time.

Dear Heart is 31. He graduated and left home. He's been living on his own for years. It helped him mature, become independent, and grow. When we met he was off the charts. I was floored. I'm not easily impressed.

He's not gaming or chatting online. He's enjoying his life and making money. We're on a forum but he's never posted. He doesn't have one post on the site. And I love it. He's not tethered to tech or a computer. That's why I'll marry him. Some people can't leave this behind. It's part of their identity. You're sitting in the room and they're typing.

Yes, I probably should have never said that I wanted to come and visit and possibly run a marathon out there.

Forgive yourself. You made a mistake. He knew better. He knows what he feels. Your inexperience permitted its continuance.

I can totally get this. It's so hard when you've invested time in your heart.

Truthfully, it isn't hard. I'll let Charlotte speak.

"I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. You are my sympathy—my better self-my good angel—I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my center and spring of life, wraps my existence about you—and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.”

Why would I settle for less?

I'm not understanding this. I'm thinking that if he does not see my picture and he cannot have access to it or any kind of communication, even blocking on my phone, that will let him know that it is over. I will communicate by phone though first that that's what I'm going to do so as not to hurt any feelings and bring closure.

That should be evident through your engagement with others. But it isn't.

The circumstances and spiritual bondages that I was under during those years is a whole other story. But praise God I've had Deliverance.

I've had someone turn to the spirit realm to ensnare me. But God delivered me. The upside of that hellacious experience is the proficiency I gained in warfare. That's why I know so much about deliverance.

 

[Niels]

.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Why I do miss people who have hurt me, what the heck is wrong with me?!?

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Why I do miss people who have hurt me, what the heck is wrong with me?!?

Unfortunately it's human nature. We're all like that sometimes.

 

[bèlla]

ADHD wasn’t common in adults but it was a frequent diagnosis for children in the nineties. It burst on the scene and became the go-to issue which raised alarms. Everywhere you turned someone had it. Kids were taking Ritalin and it made me uncomfortable.

I’d liken coverage to a marketing campaign. You couldn’t open a parenting book or magazine without hearing about it. At some point medical professionals began to question if kids were being misdiagnosed and the over diagnosis of the condition. Rightfully so.

Since that time I’ve noticed periods of popularity for related problems. Suddenly people had PTSD, depression, bipolar, anxiety, OCD, etc. All treated with medication.

I think it’s a combination of sickness, faulty medicine, and spiritual maladies.

 

[Vinter]

As some of you know I quit porn back in late July. Today I broke my record and not in a good way.
I ruined the streak by going to a porn site. I had a realy bad day and it made me go back to my old habit for an easy fix.

Now ofcourse I regret it.

 

[bèlla]

As some of you know I quit porn back in late July. Today I broke my record and not in a good way.
I ruined the streak by going to a porn site. I had a realy bad day and it made me go back to my old habit for an easy fix.

Now ofcourse I regret it.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Tomorrow’s a new day.