What's on your mind?

[bèlla]

Not doing well today as far as behaving like a knight goes, everyone. I can blame it on the atmosphere of work in the first place all I want, but ultimately it is my responsibility to be better than that just like it would for anyone else. Please pray for me to be far more exemplary in my words and behavior tomorrow.

I’m sorry you had a difficult day. I hope the rest of the week goes smoothly.

 

[sampa]

One day classes are commonplace. I'd glean from etiquette books and save courses for things that require hands-on assistance or feedback. Image consultants are another option. They cover similar ground and help with appearance and presentation. That may be a better starting point.

Good information. I think the apologist and I have something to look forward to when we can see each other in 2 to 3 years. By then he'll be living in a big city in the south. He's tired of mowing 50% of the hundred acres that he shares with his brother from an inheritance. He says he'll have better opportunities for a church since he likes to be intellectually stimulated.

When you're twenty it's fine. But you have to make accommodations when older. Raised beds (on legs) are a great example. Look at my pointers post on the Tradwife thread. If gardening is a priority get someone who will. Either they're doing it or always wanted to.

That makes sense and I'm sure that I probably will be like that. I read about a guy that's about 90 that has road stopping Delilah's. If anything I would like to be able to continue at least in my '90s creating some kind of built beauty on some level.

Yes. He writes me every day. He wants to marry. I don't know enough to say he's a catch. But he's kindhearted and polite. Hopefully he'll find the right one.

I hope he does too. It's good that you can connect with him.

Everything's changed. One day I'm single and the next I'm talking to D. We've been on parallel paths over the last year. God was working behind the scenes to bring us to this point. We're planning a future now. Three years have passed. Time apart didn't lessen the connection. God matured us to strengthen the pairing. There's a greater emphasis on the spiritual too.

it's good that you could pick up where you left off and that there's been a maturing during that time of separation.

There's a quote by Anain Nin that really describes us.

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

This is a great quote!

I needed someone who wasn't afraid to challenge me. Who saw my beauty and a comma; not a period. If he's too enthralled he'll assume that's as good as it gets. When you're on a similar trajectory you're not afraid to raise the bar because you've done the same yourself.

this is interesting and good thinking. It reminds me of growth when you have a coma rather than a period.

When you're vetting someone the number one question is why? Why do they need a man/woman like me? Why do I need them? Never choose someone who likes the idea of you. They'll never utilize your gifts and talents. You'll be bored.

Yes I definitely can agree with that. There are guys in my past that I didn't emotionally or spiritually connect with them but I liked the idea of them. My heart was only broken because it was the ideal rather than something on a deeper level that would be long-lasting. The police officer is one example of that and so is another guy that is special forces that I knew in my Army days. He met his dream girl that was a fitness model and turned her into a christian. 10 years later she is still professing her faith on social media and I'm guessing raising her kids in the church. Both examples ended up with women that were good fits for what they were looking for. And I think I've often met guys that were interested in just the idea of me and didn't really know me on a deeper level.

Some people are collectors. They want to boast. My guy/girl looks like this, is doing this, etc. None of it is benefiting them. It feeds their ego.

Good information and some perspective.

By the way a friend said about the recent marriage that she tended to think that we never were a good fit. But he seemed to focused on the superficial and appearances. She also was there when the police officer was interested in me and ended up with another gal. She did not like him because she thought he was too full of himself... Based on what he said about how others should be respecting him as a police officer during the custody battle that he had for the gal's daughters. All logical things that I knew with my mind even when I was in those present moments, but the heart went another direction.

 

[sampa]

Topic: Could there be conversations from heaven?

Today I ran 13.5 MI for almost 3 hours and had some good thinking time. I also like making this annual trip out to Amish country to make my 12 mile run, which turned into longer because I wanted to run up to a tower. I've noticed a shift in how much I have been getting back into the word since last weekend that I did a two-day media break. My neighbor inquired whatever happened to the mayor guy. I thought it was curious, as she didn't seem so interested in the past. When she asked that question, it took me back to a time in 2014 that something similar happened. There was something inside of me that questioned if something was shifting. If this was a question that was prompted by the Holy Spirit since she is a Christian. I told her that it's a process but I didn't feel like I was thinking about him quite as much. 24 hours later he got married, while I was unaware. My time in the word became a lot more regular than it has been in a long time. And I felt a drawing towards listening to more radio with sermons.

Back in 2014 I had dual attractions going on in my workplace. One happened in the winter of 2013 to 2014, I was intrigued with the guy before I met him by his voice on the radio and how he responded to my voice. I knew he was bad news and constantly was praying to pull away from him but it was one of the worst winters, called The vortex, that the bypass had been shut down for four of those days and I was part of that heavy work with him and another gal. In my mind I was hanging on to those 12-hour shifts day after day just to be around him. By February I had my last call to come in and plow and was back to my regular job. There was another guy that intrigued me, a lot younger while the guy from snow plowing was 11 years older. He was also bad news and he seemed possessive jealous if I wasn't paying attention to him, like a baby. He was getting a really bad attitude by the summer.

That summer I went to my aunt's to house set for a week. My cousins were constantly over and I was not getting the retreat and quiet space that I had hoped for. Her place is very remote and out in the middle of nowhere. I've always felt out in the space where she lives a good retreat. One of the last days that I was to do a prayer walk and quiet time my youngest cousin stop by. He wanted to have a conversation about matters of the heart and I talked about both of these guys. Something felt inside of me that this was a conversation that was prompted from God, even though my cousin is not a walking christian, but believes in spiritual things.
After our conversation I wrote it down in my prayer journal that I felt the younger guy was about to leave the workplace. I'm not sure what I wrote about the older guy, but that same day a teenager broke in his house and shot him in the face trying to murder him. Another gal that intuitive that we both had an attraction, wanted to call me but didn't have my phone number. So she called me 24 hours later at my work phone.
The younger guy ended up leaving the workplace on bad terms a week after that retreat at my aunt's. The older guy and I became girlfriend and boyfriend two weeks after. But I ended up having to break off things 2 months after because of his alcohol addiction. And 2 years later I found out through the grapevine that he had died of it.

Anyways, I don't understand what the reason is that certain people have been brought into my life that I have fallen for, but I do think that there is something spiritual going on.. and I guess I will find out when I get to heaven. No matter what I have grown from each of those chances that I have taken. Since the age of 20 years old I have only fallen for five guys deeply. But never have been in a serious long-term relationship.

I guess I'm not expecting many comments, just needed a place to think out and ponder some things that have spiritual implications. I'm praying not the progress of my quiet times does not stop and it continues to grow, and hopefully I will not get sidetracked by a guy as I have with this last one.

 

[bèlla]

By then he'll be living in a big city in the south. He's tired of mowing 50% of the hundred acres that he shares with his brother from an inheritance. He says he'll have better opportunities for a church since he likes to be intellectually stimulated.

That’s a lot of work. Even on a rider. I hope he finds a nice church.

That makes sense and I'm sure that I probably will be like that.

You might enjoy this book.

it's good that you could pick up where you left off and that there's been a maturing during that time of separation.

We fit well together and he eases my burden. He doesn’t add more to my plate. He removes the weight from my shoulders. It's refreshing.

On a happy note, he’ll handle my YouTube channel. He has the technical aptitude to manage it and wants to help. I don’t have to worry about photography, video, editing, marketing, etc. He does it all. And he lives near cara. I’ll get to see her.

My heart was only broken because it was the ideal rather than something on a deeper level that would be long-lasting.

At the time it seems ideal but hindsight shows you otherwise. It wasn’t the right fit but you weren’t able to see it.

And I think I've often met guys that were interested in just the idea of me and didn't really know me on a deeper level.

Some fall for the ideal or they’re focused on the benefit of the connection. How their life is bettered with little thought to yours.

All logical things that I knew with my mind even when I was in those present moments, but the heart went another direction.

Introspection is valuable. Everyone should do some housekeeping. Revisit your decisions and see where you went wrong. Including lost opportunities. So you won’t make the same mistakes.

He visited Stockholm and Reykjavík recently before the EU closed. I saw these photos and thought of you. It’s a beautiful place to run and talk to God.

 

[sampa]

You might enjoy this

Thanks I screenshot it for possible later use.

On a happy note, he’ll handle my YouTube channel. He has the technical aptitude to manage it and wants to help. I don’t have to worry about photography, video, editing, marketing, etc. He does it all. And he lives near cara. I’ll get to see her.

That's great! It's good to have someone who supports you and fits with what you're already doing.

Everyone should do some housekeeping. Revisit your decisions and see where you went wrong. Including lost opportunities. So you won’t make the same mistakes.

Agreed! Big time.

He visited Stockholm and Reykjavík recently before the EU closed. I saw these photos and thought of you. It’s a beautiful place to run and talk to God.

Beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing.

On another note if you saw this quote on someone's profile page, what would be your first thoughts?

 

[bèlla]

Anyways, I don't understand what the reason is that certain people have been brought into my life that I have fallen for, but I do think that there is something spiritual going on.. and I guess I will find out when I get to heaven.

You can learn a lot about yourself through your attractions. Why is this person appealing? What’s going on within me or in my life that enables my attraction? Would I feel the same in different circumstances? The last question is telling. We realize a lot of our attractions are situational, circumstantial, or the result of the pain. We don’t really like them.

If you’re honest with yourself you’ll realize you’re going through the motions. It looks like a duck and quacks like one but it isn’t a duck. How do you know the difference? You encounter the real thing. That clears away the cobwebs.

I told him to come and he arrives next month. There’s something behind the words. You’ve put the idea in motion and there’s an end in sight. You’re not killing time or filling a void. You’re going somewhere.

We can’t read too much into attractions. They’re comfortable escapes from reality. When a person wants to get real they invade your space. They want to make their presence known and felt. Not through words. But through memorable experiences.

 

[bèlla]

On another note if you saw this quote on someone's profile page, what would be your first thoughts?

It depends on the profile. You can read it as motivation or jealousy.

 

[sampa]

You can learn a lot about yourself through your attractions. Why is this person appealing? What’s going on within me or in my life that enables my attraction? Would I feel the same in different circumstances? The last question is telling. We realize a lot of our attractions are situational, circumstantial, or the result of the pain. We don’t really like them.

thanks! Yes I've gone through some of the questions and some revelations came to me last year that it had to do with some painful things that I went through in childhood.

If you’re honest with yourself you’ll realize you’re going through the motions. It looks like a duck and quacks like one but it isn’t a duck. How do you know the difference? You encounter the real thing. That clears away the cobwebs.

Yes! Agreed.

I told him to come and he arrives next month. There’s something behind the words. You’ve put the idea in motion and there’s an end in sight. You’re not killing time or filling a void. You’re going somewhere.

Yes! I'm so glad that things are moving and going somewhere.

It depends on the profile. You can read it as motivation or jealousy.

This was the profile of the girl that the guy I spoke of married. She had that as her background photo about the time they met each other and still for many months after. Older photos of her from maybe two years past don't look as polished as what she does today. Her transformation could have been through workouts... Or maybe some other kind of pricey changes to her exterior or both.

I'm not sure where it was but you said something about a guy that was tired of seeing girls in ripped up jeans, interestingly some of her professional photos had white ripped up jeans with jackets. She also wears a lot of ball caps, trying to be a lot more youthful. Maybe closer to what her daughter looks like who's just entering college. A late 20ish year old person said that she's never seen someone dress like she does so young at that age. I think she was referring to revealing a lot of her assets. I dress young but I'm conservative and fun.

 

[bèlla]

Yes! I'm so glad that things are moving and going somewhere.

Thank you. He's doing what's necessary to ensure my comfort and security.

I'm not sure where it was but you said something about a guy that was tired of seeing girls in ripped up jeans

That was him talking. I shared what he wrote.

A late 20ish year old person said that she's never seen someone dress like she does so young at that age. I think she was referring to revealing a lot of her assets. I dress young but I'm conservative and fun.

Some people have a youthful spirit. Everyone doesn't dress conservatively. The majority could benefit from a stylist. We all want to look our best but don't go about it the right way sometimes.

I like elegant glam but he has a defined aesthetic. He nixed the glam. I don't mind because it's not my responsibility. He's taken it on himself. That's one less thing to worry about.

Most women dress for their man when they're kept, dating high wage earners, or trying to nab one. The change doesn't surprise me. That's the way its done.

 

[ReesePiece23]

There's nothing worse than baby sitting a drunk 33 year old on a night out. He already punched a mate in the face, and then he began walking into the road with his hands in his pockets - before ALMOST getting flattened by a bus. *Twice.*

I had to practically herd him to a safe spot and siphon non-alcoholic fluid into him. And if I had to sit there with him until seven in the morning, then I had to sit with him until seven in the morning - what else can you do when he has three kids at home? Let him hit someone else who isn't a mate?

Now I *know* why I'm a maverick and choose to walk alone 99% of the time. Friends are usually a liability.

 

[sampa]

That was him talking. I shared what he wrote.

Ahhh, makes sense.

Some people have a youthful spirit. Everyone doesn't dress conservatively. The majority could benefit from a stylist. We all want to look our best but don't go about it the right way sometimes.

I definitely could benefit from a stylist but it also comes with a price. I've been reinventing little by little year by year my style and trying things that might have been out of my comfort zone before. Last year I started with a focus on accessories, since it's a little bit cheaper. This year I've been continuing that a little bit. I was supposed to focus on shoes this year but I can't afford it at this time. And yes, it's not just about how it makes you look but also revealing a little bit of who you are.
There's a girl at work that gets to dress nice because she doesn't have to go out on the road. A couple times that I knew I would be in the office environment I've worn a dress or a skirt. This of course is post pandemic because times are different and I feel a chance to do something different. I would dress up when we had our department meetings by video. My department head definitely appreciates that. It also gives people a different side to me to look at. And possibility of where I may go in the future.

I like elegant glam but he has a defined aesthetic. He nixed the glam. I don't mind because it's not my responsibility. He's taken it on himself. That's one less thing to worry about.

That's very interesting. As much as a part of me would like to experience something like that, I don't think in my environment that will ever happen. Just being realistic but who knows, I never imagined meeting someone like I did last year and they apologist. The internet has definitely opened up my circles.

I'm glad that the Lord has gifted you with that unique quality that can adapt to someone that is looking for someone to dress a certain way. There's probably fewer people that are like that today. I'm pretty sure if I had a husband that wanted me to dress a certain way I would. Most likely I imagine it will be simple things like not wearing mini skirts or daisy dukes (except for some yard work or in the house) in public. I can wear short things but I imagine that if I marry someone Christian he wants me to be conservative.

Most women dress for their man when they're kept, dating high wage earners, or trying to nab one. The change doesn't surprise me. That's the way its done.

yes I will never forget one day more than 10 years ago I was in the maintenance field with some guys and I was standing in a hole digging that was up over my waist. A Greek woman in a Mercedes came by and noticed the guys standing around watching me dig. I didn't hear the conversation but she told a guy, and it was someone that had a wife that didn't work and was Baptist, "my man has me kept. He'd never have me doing that". She was kind of scolding the man for standing around watching me. They really weren't, it was just my turn to go in the hole and she happened to be going by. After that moment, I often wondered what it would be like to be kept.

I've had to pretty much supply my own means and survival mentality. I've also done my best as to be a witness with the work that I do and take pride in it. Whatever it is to the joy of the Lord.

 

[bèlla]

I definitely could benefit from a stylist but it also comes with a price.

We have to mindful of that when looking at images. Most people aren't professionally coiffed. A good day isn't your best. You don't know what you lack or how to compensate. That holds true for the next. We do the best we can.

That's very interesting. As much as a part of me would like to experience something like that, I don't think in my environment that will ever happen. Just being realistic but who knows, I never imagined meeting someone like I did last year and they apologist. The internet has definitely opened up my circles.

We met online three years ago. My posts kept appearing on his feed. The things I do here I do there. And he noticed. You never know who you'll meet or how they'll see you. You can't assume.

I'm glad that the Lord has gifted you with that unique quality that can adapt to someone that is looking for someone to dress a certain way. There's probably fewer people that are like that today.

It makes him happy. Why would I take it from him? He's willing to fund a wardrobe and the help I require. Why would I deny him? Yes, I'm the fashion person and study image consulting. That doesn't matter. It feeds something within him and I benefit.

I never thought of it as a gift. We all have expectations. Meeting his isn't bothersome. I want to do it. In return, he's simplifying things to allow me to focus on the Lord's work unencumbered. It's a win/win.

I'm pretty sure if I had a husband that wanted me to dress a certain way I would. Most likely I imagine it will be simple things like not wearing mini skirts or daisy dukes (except for some yard work or in the house) in public. I can wear short things but I imagine that if I marry someone Christian he wants me to be conservative.

You can't imagine. Every man has preferences. What you assume is fine may be unappealing. Wise women pay attention to this. That's a way of communicating he matters. If he likes you in dresses wear them.

I didn't hear the conversation but she told a guy, and it was someone that had a wife that didn't work and was Baptist, "my man has me kept. He'd never have me doing that". She was kind of scolding the man for standing around watching me.

She implied the job didn't set aside your womanhood. Tasks like those should be performed by them. That's what a gentleman would do.

I've had to pretty much supply my own means and survival mentality.

There's nothing wrong with self-sufficiency. Independence is a different spirit.

 

[sampa]

It makes him happy. Why would I take it from him? He's willing to fund a wardrobe and the help I require. Why would I deny him? Yes, I'm the fashion person and study image consulting. That doesn't matter. It feeds something within him and I

True. I'm glad that you can adapt and that it seems second nature to you.

I want to do it. In return, he's simplifying things to allow me to focus on the Lord's work unencumbered. It's a win/win.

It's good that you do. As you mentioned it so depends on the guy and what he is looking for. A good relationship should be like that, where he has your best interest and you have his.

You can't imagine. Every man has preferences. What you assume is fine may be unappealing. Wise women pay attention to this. That's a way of communicating he matters. If he likes you in dresses wear them.

Yes, I already like dresses so it probably wouldn't be a problem. Actually I kind of think that some guys as they pass me when I'm running that they appreciate that I'm wearing a dress when I run. I'm pretty much the only runner that I've seen in a sports dress. There's very few makers that make them except for title nine. I can't afford that and was fortunate to find Columbia at about 60 to 70% off. They are actually much more comfortable than running shorts. As fall comes I will probably go to my running skorts. I really enjoy those because it makes me feel like a tennis player or someone who plays golf.

She implied the job didn't set aside your womanhood. Tasks like those should be performed by them. That's what a gentleman would do.

Yes, and the guy that told me about it was embarrassed. Because he kind of feels the same way. But on a positive note he has a high respect for me to this day. A few weeks ago I happen to see someone trimming the trees outside of our district. I told my walking partner hold on that I wanted to compliment him and his crew on what they were doing. I introduced myself and found out that it was his son. He shrieked with delight and was surprised that I was still there. He was just a small boy when I knew him and had met him at his church. Now he's at a management position and travels between 13 counties. Last week while I was walking on our path track, he honked his horn as he went by and later I got to chat with him. He said he talked to his father about me and he only had good things to say about me. That was definitely a compliment, his father is known as the preacher and a lot of guys stay clear of him because of that. But he's a hard worker.

Thank you again for your insight, it's always very useful and opens my eyes up to possibilities and the world out there.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

I am liking walking every day, I really hope I can keep this up!

 

[ReesePiece23]

There's nothing worse than baby sitting a drunk 33 year old on a night out. He already punched a mate in the face, and then he began walking into the road with his hands in his pockets - before ALMOST getting flattened by a bus. *Twice.*

I had to practically herd him to a safe spot and siphon non-alcoholic fluid into him. And if I had to sit there with him until seven in the morning, then I had to sit with him until seven in the morning - what else can you do when he has three kids at home? Let him hit someone else who isn't a mate?

Now I *know* why I'm a maverick and choose to walk alone 99% of the time. Friends are usually a liability.

I've decided: next time, I'm letting him walk into traffic.

Sod it. It's easier for ME. And I like an easy life.

 

[bèlla]

True. I'm glad that you can adapt and that it seems second nature to you.

I saw the same growing up. I don't view clothes as an aspect of my identity. I could wear ripped jeans and Doc Martens and still be bella. I don't communicate who I am through my clothing. I like what I like. I use my personality for that.

It's good that you do. As you mentioned it so depends on the guy and what he is looking for. A good relationship should be like that, where he has your best interest and you have his.

The starting point is you. What do you need help with? And what are you good at? If you meet someone who excels (or invests) where you struggle and requires what you have in tow. There's a continual flow. You're pouring into the other.

He said he talked to his father about me and he only had good things to say about me. That was definitely a compliment, his father is known as the preacher and a lot of guys stay clear of him because of that. But he's a hard worker.

That's wonderful to hear. It sounds like you made a good impression. Hopefully his son follows suit.

Thank you again for your insight, it's always very useful and opens my eyes up to possibilities and the world out there.

Work is commiserate to the target. The higher you climb the more he expects. You need to know your barometer. What are you willing to do consistently? That isn't a question from me. But something you need to answer for yourself.

Ideally it's tied to something besides him. For example, his aesthetic preference aids my work. It opens up greater opportunities for impromptu content. I'll look my best going out, with unexpected company, etc. That's helping me.

What is God asking you to do (or you desire to do) that benefits from his influence? Tie it together if you can.

 

[Multifavs]

There's been a bumblebee hanging around some flowers by our house recently. The first day I saw it, it was flying around visiting the flowers. The second day, it was sitting still on one flower with its head inside the flower. I took a walk and when I came back it was still sitting there. The next day, it was flying around again. So on the second day I told my brother it must have fallen asleep in its food.

 

[SarahsKnight]

There's been a bumblebee hanging around some flowers by our house recently. The first day I saw it, it was flying around visiting the flowers. The second day, it was sitting still on one flower with its head inside the flower. I took a walk and when I came back it was still sitting there. The next day, it was flying around again. So on the second day I told my brother it must have fallen asleep in its food.

I don't know what it is, my cute lady knight comrade, but, somehow this observation and the way it is conveyed to the rest of us is just ... so you.

(To be sure nothing is accidentally misunderstood, that is a personal compliment from me to you.

)

 

[SarahsKnight]

Not doing well today as far as behaving like a knight goes, everyone. I can blame it on the atmosphere of work in the first place all I want, but ultimately it is my responsibility to be better than that just like it would for anyone else. Please pray for me to be far more exemplary in my words and behavior tomorrow.

I did much better today, I think. Thank you for your prayers, everyone.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Goodbye Summer, you were such a cute little hermit crab; you will be missed and loved always! *sighs*