What's on your mind?

[DragonFox91]

I was just cleaning my tank w/ my net & didn't realize till after my net was out of the water for a minute or so my betta got caught in it. She lost a lot of color but when I realized my mistake, I put her in the water & a lot of the color came back. She is swimming well now, recovered fast, as if she wasn't out. She does have a little part on her head where it looks like scales got torn off, but I think it was like that before, it just looks a bit bigger now.


I put some stress coat in.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

You gotta just love those people who have the nerve to say they “miss you” when they make zero effort to be a part of your life like what exactly do you miss because I'd really like to know?!

 

[bèlla]

You gotta just love those people who have the nerve to say they “miss you” when they make zero effort to be a part of your life like what exactly do you miss because I'd really like to know?!

In my experience people have different interpretations of effort and what's required of them. The first thing you must determine is what's necessary for your happiness. How much time and contact do you prefer in your relationships. You need to know the bare minimum, sweet spot, and maximum. That gives you something to go on. Then you can weigh compromise in light of your needs.

Some connections won't meet your standard. You may permit them because they're beneficial. Others cause pain. Your needs go unmet and can't be sated. You have to determine if that's always the case or represents a season in the relationship. They're busy with work, family, school, etc.

I found it easier to set a standard for relating that addressed contact frequency. I'm able to convey what's doable or not to those I know. It helps to avoid hurt feelings or unrealistic expectations.

If marriage is desirable you should factor that in your numbers. It's easier to add to something than take away. Some people have a hard time adjusting to reduced contact. Getting them accustomed to it isn't advisable.

For instance, if you have a friend who loves to talk everyday, it's unlikely you'll continue doing so when married. They'll be moments when you can't. But if she's accustomed to speaking a few times per week instead of daily, the ones you don't aren't an issue. No one's disappointed.

 

[bèlla]

I recommend reading this thread. The stats are really informative. They may shed light on your circumstances and give you something to go on.

Dating is Harder

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

I have a meeting coming up on Thursday afternoon with the department chair. It's a non-punitive meeting. It's a 'check' of sorts to see how I am progressing towards tenure. I feel conflicted.

Do I tell him I don't want my contract renewed and would like to say "thanks, but no thanks" and go find something else to do with my last working years?

Do I tell him that being a straight, white, male, Christian, conservative, unvaccinated person makes me feel like I have a target on my back?

Do I tell him I don't really care about research or doing research, or even thinking about research...because this school is one notch above a teacher's college and NOBODY cares what research is done at a tiny university with a research budget in the 'millions' of dollars (whoopity do)

Do I remain silent?

Do I keep pretending that 'everything's okay' to try and further a career? Is professional achievement (at a school where I would work in obscurity no matter what) that important to me? Do I need to have ANOTHER title thrust upon me?

I don't know what to do.

 

[bèlla]

I have a meeting coming up on Thursday afternoon with the department chair. It's a non-punitive meeting. It's a 'check' of sorts to see how I am progressing towards tenure. I feel conflicted.

How long is the contract?

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

How long is the contract?

Yearly contract from mid-August to mid-May. Renewed if performance is acceptable. Contract renewals are the 'probation' for pre-tenure faculty at my school.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Why didn't the folks from Elections Canada get back to me before now? Getting approval from my job to work the polls is going to be trickier than it would be otherwise.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Long day but totally worth it!

 

[Tone]

No matter how far we descend

His Love is deeper still

And faithful to raise us again

 

[Multifavs]

As usual, it's been a long summer. I'm so glad September is finally here and autumn is coming! When I think about it I realize that God has been so good to me, even if I probably don't deserve it.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

In that case you can play both sides. There's no need to step on toes. You've got a guaranteed salary. If you're concerned about vaccine problems adding to the coffers is best. Don't rock the boat unnecessarily.

You have the option of looking elsewhere while employed. Finding another situation is easier in that instance. A side hustle is another option. Have a brainstorming session. What would you if you weren't doing that? Once you know the answer, let them fund it. Until you're ready to bolt.

The vaccine is the sticky wicket for me. I have my reasons, and they aren't any of the ones discussed in the mosh pits here. For now, I submit to weekly testing, with rumbles it will go to twice or thrice a week.

Oh believe me, I am looking for other work. If I can make my way back to my home state with a decent (doesn't have to be good) job, I'd put this state in my rearview mirror.

 

[HisGraceAbounds]

...uh

I just got an e-mail from a student telling me she found out she is pregnant and might miss lecture tomorrow for her first pre-natal appointment.

...that's a first for me.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

I can barely get my eyes open yet here I am posting at midnight, lol; goodnight everyone!

 

[sampa]

Hard to believe, but it's official, they are married now. Beautiful picture of them both with the nightscape of the city in the background. They are a beautiful couple. I pray and wish them a best. I also pray that the Lord helps to heal my heart.

 

[bèlla]

Hard to believe, but it's official, they are married now. Beautiful picture of them both with the nightscape of the city in the background. They are a beautiful couple. I pray and wish them a best. I also pray that the Lord helps to heal my heart.

Who’s married?

 

[sampa]

Who’s married?

The guy from last year but I dated for 7 weeks last year but he made a connection with a girl that's a thousand miles away. I'm not even sure if her house has sold yet. But soon they will be together everyday and I wish them the best. His suit and her dress look pretty pricey. I'm sure it wasn't quiet ceremony since it's both of their third marriage. There's always a chance that I will still run into him because of his work that he has here.

Thanks for inquiring. I plan to respond to the last conversations we had but things have been so busy and very tired. I hope you are well and blessed.

 

[bèlla]

The guy from last year but I dated for 7 weeks last year but he made a connection with a girl that's a thousand miles away.

I thought it was him but wanted to confirm. How are you really? It’s okay not to be okay. ~hugs~

Take your time responding. No rush.

I’m doing okay. We’ll talk about my stuff later. Right now, look after you.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Right now, look after you.

She's right on this, Miss @sampa. If I may say so.

 

[sampa]

thought it was him but wanted to confirm. How are you really? It’s okay not to be okay. ~hugs~

Take your time responding. No rush.

I’m doing okay. We’ll talk about my stuff later. Right now, look after you.

Thank you for asking. It will be a process. I'm sure. There's always silly questions of "what I did wrong", or "why did it work for him Lord and not me?" My friend was surprised and said she hopes he can be happy this time.
Ironically my neighbor asked about him last Saturday and I just didn't have much thought about him...but still knew I wasn't totally over him.
I know the reality and it's not as fairytale as it appears...

She's right on this, Miss @sampa. If I may say so.

Thank you also. I appreciate it. Blessings dear.