What's on your mind?

[sampa]

See that's what me & other men have to get thru. All you women put up barriers b/c you're afraid of something like that happening again. & no kidding why!

I'm just more aware in the beginning as I get to know someone of the red flags. I can move away more easily when I detect the beginnings of an obsession, mental illness or an unstable attraction.

His posting history revealed a growing display of agitation. He had bizarre ideas about women and was

I'm so sorry for that situation. Sounds terrible.

After the second incident my mother expressed her displeasure of meeting anyone from the Internet.

I can definitely understand that. Many years ago when I started online dating at 35 years old my father was the one to lay down some rules and very skeptical about the lies that could come through it.

don’t understand what drives that. He’s settled and married yet the obsession remains. How sad.

Yes!! What's interesting, is that through online dating, I was talking with someone who is a highly esteemed criminal investigator and there was a soft impression in the back of my mind of my ex-boyfriend from when I was 18 years old. My subconscious and the Holy Spirit sometimes alerts me to things I can't see. I was so intrigued by this guy, somehow he disappeared and didn't answer for a month and I deleted his profile and said goodbye. A month later I received a call through my work phone from a town marshall with a request for some work. It seemed strange since no one has my work number without being part of the same agency and most customer requests come through a service center. Then I realized the town marshall was from where the criminal Investigator had lived before, he didn't tell me but I did a bunch of background checks on him of where he had lived and his life....fortunately the Holy Spirit intervened and I was not the one to handle the request, my coworkers went. Nothing concrete here to reveal an obsession, but I feel I have good enough indications to stay away from this person.

 

[Multifavs]

Hey, Knightess, who's the character that Bomberman is riding in your avatar, by the way? ^-^

(That is Bomberman, right?)

Yes, that's Bomberman. He's riding on his friend Rooey! (known as Louie in the English games, but I like Rooey better) The Rooeys are kangaroo-like creatures that come in 9 different colors (one of them is fanmade by me ) and have special abilities!

 

[Multifavs]

Oh, this is the full drawing, by the way.

 

[sampa]

Oh, this is the full drawing, by the way.

This is absolutely wonderful! ❤️

 

[MehGuy]

I think my sig reflects my new outlook.. after a few years of wandering in the mental desert.. I do feel like I have found some footing.. and have found my new self to a sense.

 

[bèlla]

That one I did not know of, Bella. Certainly hope he doesn't become another unfortunate case like Elliot Rodger.

I hope so too. He had many grievances and believed women with my disposition should align with the little guy.

 

[SarahsKnight]

He had many grievances and believed women with my disposition should align with the little guy.

That's where we guys get tripped up. We should never aspire to be alpha male jerkwads of any sort, but at the same time that doesn't mean we deserve to be rewarded with a great lady of your disposition - or in my case Miss Erin's beauty (as far as I see it, anyway) and good disposition - for trying to go the other way and be the "nice" or the underdog kind of guy. A smile, a thank you, and maybe even a few compliments from womankind are nice, certainly, as you have so graciously done in response to me trying to be a good friend and a "nice" or "little guy" to you for example, but that doesn't mean the specific girl in question or even girls in general owe us anything beyond that, much less a romantic relationship or any sexual favor. Erin holds no romantic interest in me (nor should she, under the present circumstances), for one, but I will continue to try to be good towards her and be satisfied with the smile and occasional thanks that she has given me in return. Her responses have been more than amiable enough.




.... Unless I have completely misunderstood what the interactions between you and this antagonistic atheist fellow who you said held embitterment for women were about in the first place of course, Miss Bella, in which case please enlighten me.

 

[bèlla]

That's where we guys get tripped up. We should never aspire to be alpha male jerkwads of any sort, but at the same time that doesn't mean we deserve to be rewarded with a great lady of your disposition - or in my case Miss Erin's beauty (as far as I see it, anyway) and good disposition - for trying to go the other way and be the "nice" or the underdog kind of guy.

Why is he a jerkwad?

 

[public hermit]

I just wanted to type "jerkwad." That is an underappreciated word, by me.

 

[bèlla]

A smile, a thank you, and maybe even a few compliments from womankind are nice, certainly, as you have so graciously done in response to me trying to be a good friend and a "nice" or "little guy" to you for example, but that doesn't mean the specific girl in question or even girls in general owe us anything beyond that, much less a romantic relationship or any sexual favor.

I see your qualities and mention them for your edification. I know you won’t go on a bender or treat me disrespectfully.

I can’t set aside the attributes I desire in the opposite sex. In spite of opposition.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Why is he a jerkwad?

I was more just using a generic term for any guy with a negative trait of some sort, since I really couldn't think of the right word to describe how the guy you were speaking of was specifically being antagonistic towards you.

 

[bèlla]

I was more just using a generic term for any guy with a negative trait of some sort, since I really couldn't think of the right word to describe how the guy you were speaking of was specifically being antagonistic towards you.

He wasn’t an alpha. He was an angry man who depended on women to set aside their preferences for his benefit.

 

[bèlla]

@cara-mia

We’re on. A change of pace in less than a month.

Must have been something I said.

 

[DragonFox91]

I watch them on occasion. My daughter likes anime. Sometimes I join her.

Yay!
My friend keeps trying to get me into anime. He had me watch a few short ones, I guess they were just a bad fit, b/c then he tried One Piece w/ me, which is 900 episodes, & I love it, but am not caught up yet.

Any faves you’d recommend?

Any hand-drawn Disney cartoon movies
Any classic Nickelodeon cartoons (Hey Arnold, Doug, Rocko, etc.)
Plus you got the classics like Looney Tunes
Growing up, that's all I'd watch. I still watch them.

That happens to all of us. But I’m combatting it by honoring my desires and avoiding pressure to compromise.

I doubt it. Oftentimes we heal ourselves by helping others. You have less time to focus on the hurt and lack.

Testimony means how God worked in your life that you can encourage others w/.

I think I replied earlier. If I didn’t remind me please.

I'll have to dig. It's probably buried now. Stay tuned.

No. The pandemic amplified the problem.

Could help me even better then.

Rewarded in what way?

They have no fear

I spoke privately with his friends. They were shocked by his actions and couldn’t reason with him. He attacked their companions too. They ended up shunning him and removing him from their groups. He was too disruptive.

 

[DragonFox91]

Naturally they wouldn’t want it to happen again, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re closed to any future relationship (though there are cases where some are). Most of them aren’t putting up barriers, they’re just adapting their screening process.

The screening process is a 50 foot wall. Any thing goes wrong, you're done.

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm just more aware in the beginning as I get to know someone of the red flags. I can move away more easily when I detect the beginnings of an obsession, mental illness or an unstable attraction.

What's wrong w/ mental illnesses

 

[bèlla]

Any hand-drawn Disney cartoon movies
Any classic Nickelodeon cartoons (Hey Arnold, Doug, Rocko, etc.)
Plus you got the classics like Looney Tunes
Growing up, that's all I'd watch. I still watch them.

I watched Hey Arnold, Doug, and Rugrats with my daughter. I loved Daria.

 

[TenthAveN]

The screening process is a 50 foot wall. Any thing goes wrong, you're done.

A 50 foot wall? Perhaps for some. I suppose some are seeing if you will respect their space, and some may be testing your persistence. I think it’s safest to find a medium between the two, because many guys are bad at taking hints.

 

[bèlla]

What's wrong w/ mental illnesses

Everyone isn’t able to deal with mental illness in a healthy fashion. A close friend of mine was bipolar. I helped her deal with the condition but the methods I employed wouldn’t work for most. I’ve known her 23 years and have liberties I wouldn’t possess with most.

I think you need a certain measure of patience and grace. I don’t pretend to have it.

 

[TenthAveN]

Everyone isn’t able to deal with mental illness in a healthy fashion. A close friend of mine was bipolar. I helped her deal with the condition but the methods I employed wouldn’t work for most. I’ve known her 23 years and have liberties I wouldn’t possess with most.

I think you need a certain measure of patience and grace. I don’t pretend to have it.

That’s one of the reasons I haven’t made an effort to connect with girls for a while. I think it’s important to ask “can I?”, but you also have to ask “should I?”. I don’t want to be unequivocally yoked with someone who’s more mature in their walk. I think I should sort things out first.