What are some red flags in dating & relationships

[LoricaLady]

The comment wasn’t directed to you. There is a lot of information available about the disorders and a plethora of social media memes and hashtags.



I don’t use that verbiage. I address my feelings and the impact their behavior is having. I don’t play armchair psychiatrist. Others may prefer different expressions.

~Bella

Maybe I missed something but I didn't see anyone here calling anyone names via disorders. The OP asked for red flags on dating and relationships. What I have seen is people trying to respond to that. I didn't see anyone playing armchair psychiatrist.

 

[bèlla]

Maybe I missed something but I didn't see anyone here calling anyone names via disorders. The OP asked for red flags on dating and relationships. What I have seen is people trying to respond to that. I didn't see anyone playing armchair psychiatrist.

Once more, the comment was not in relation to you or anyone in the thread. It was based on the frequency of disorder labeling that occurs.

I think you’re reading too much into my statement and over analyzing an observation.

~Bella

 

[LoricaLady]

Once more, the comment was not in relation to you or anyone in the thread. It was based on the frequency of disorder labeling that occurs.

I think you’re reading too much into my statement and over analyzing an observation.

~Bella

Well, OPs request was for red flags in relationships, particularly in dating. I hope there have been enough helpful responses to that.

 

[The_wanderer 40]

Lying was mentioned by 98cwitr but I wanted to add that someone who is dishonest in their behavior, business dealings, taxes, etc will be dishonest with you without even thinking about it.

Another red flag is somebody who is a gossip. Whether you're considering marrying them or if your're just friends, you cannot trust someone like that with your feelings and secrets.

 

[lismore]

The absence of real-time friendships.

Hello LaBella. Not meaning to start a debate or anything, just to give a different perspective on this one. At one time in my life, during high school, I may have superficially been in this category. I was the only Christian there you see, so the choice was mix with people who were into some very weird stuff, or don't mix. Those who stand for the Lord in these last days may stand alone, they may be rejected, ignored, bullied. The world hates a believer, the true believer may well be a harried outcast. The world is not worthy of a believer (Hebrews 11:38) Some Christians may find themselves in a place where the only meaningful contacts they can make with other Christians is online.

So I would advise everyone, don't judge anyone by worldly criteria, look on a person as God looks on the person.

God Bless You

 

[lismore]

A man without a real job. Huge red flag.

Hello Emmylou. I knew a worker in the adult education sector who was sacked, blacklisted and found himself jobless for years because he was a Christian. God Bless

 

[bèlla]

Some Christians may find themselves in a place where the only meaningful contacts they can make with other Christians is online.

When troubleshooting, you look for obvious causes before considering obscure possibilities. In all likelihood, a person with no real-time associations outside of the Internet who consistently remains in that state is probably not a victim of the last days.

There may be social inhibitions, medical problems, or personality challenges that contribute to their condition. When someone constantly complains of rejection and an inability to form connections, we can’t dismiss the possibility they’re part of the problem.

Proper deduction and discernment will yield the truth if we’re prudent.

~Bella

 

[lismore]

When troubleshooting, you look for obvious causes before considering obscure possibilities.

I wouldn't say my suggestion was obscure. Just skim these forums and see the number of people who for reasons of geography struggle to find any Christian fellowship at all.

As for the last days, 2 Tim 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

Loneliness among believers would fall under perilous times IMO. We're living in the last days, we're living in perilous times. Good Christian fellowship/ relationships is a joy and a privilege that many Christians do not have.

God Bless

 

[LoricaLady]

I wouldn't say my suggestion was obscure. Just skim these forums and see the number of people who for reasons of geography struggle to find any Christian fellowship at all.

As for the last days, 2 Tim 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

Loneliness among believers would fall under perilous times IMO. We're living in the last days, we're living in perilous times. Good Christian fellowship/ relationships is a joy and a privilege that many Christians do not have.

God Bless

Yes, just as we are not to call people names in terms of negative behaviors, we are also not to assume we can tell what is going on with others we don't even know, or make them feel they are deficient in some ways because it so happens they are not at a time and place where they have found good fellowship.

We are also not to assume that such people don't have the discernment, and especially the leading through prayer, to find some folk to fellowship with online.

 

[LoricaLady]

When troubleshooting, you look for obvious causes before considering obscure possibilities. In all likelihood, a person with no real-time associations outside of the Internet who consistently remains in that state is probably not a victim of the last days.

There may be social inhibitions, medical problems, or personality challenges that contribute to their condition. When someone constantly complains of rejection and an inability to form connections, we can’t dismiss the possibility they’re part of the problem.

Proper deduction and discernment will yield the truth if we’re prudent.

~Bella

It always helps if we, ourselves, have as much proper deduction and discernment as we would like others to think we have. I know from my own times of being corrected by the Father, that when I thought I was passing on deduction and discernment and wisdom and so on, that He would sometimes tell me, that No, I was just being critical and judgmental.

 

[bèlla]

I know from my own times of being corrected by the Father, that when I thought I was passing on deduction and discernment and wisdom and so on, that He would sometimes tell me, that No, I was just being critical and judgmental.

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. —Proverbs 10:19

I think you’re reading too much into my comments and making assumptions. Please stop.

~Bella

 

[bèlla]

I wouldn't say my suggestion was obscure. Just skim these forums and see the number of people who for reasons of geography struggle to find any Christian fellowship at all.

There are many struggling for reasons we’re not privy to. Some have childhood experiences that contributed to their challenges to connect. It isn’t always the result of an omission of opportunities or mean spirited believers in their midst.

When someone shares their heart and the deeper things that influence their behavior we can minister to them more effectively. Whether its through love, encouragement, or fellowship as you’ve mentioned.

Loneliness among believers would fall under perilous times IMO. We're living in the last days, we're living in perilous times. Good Christian fellowship/ relationships is a joy and a privilege that many Christians do not have.

Every age believes they’re the last. Only the Father knows the hour.

Even so, we have a medium that didn’t exist. It provides a method for exchange that can be beneficial for those with limited options. This subject comes up frequently in the singles forum.

~Bella

 

[tampasteve]

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Please note, this is a non-Debate forum. Advice should be given to the OP of the thread, not debate between other members. This thread is now permanently closed for this reason.

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