want to name your obsessions?

[Rion]

As a child I had violent thoughts against pets, family members, and my toys. I can remember being on my back looking at my favorite stuffed dog and then suddenly choking it but then stopping it and crying, saying I was sorry. That's one of the few times I acted out on it.

Years went by and I started going to church at about 9 or 10.

By 14 it had started to shift towards being about the Bible or God. I couldn't read it without bad thoughts coming into my mind. I would sit in my room or in the bathroom crying and asking God to make me better. Then I began to worry that the reason God wouldn't make me better was because I was the Anti-Christ and there was no hope for me. This went on until about 20 when I started taking medication after dropping out of college due to this.

The meds weren't strong enough so I was only half-nuts with OCD which they still hadn't diagnosed. It had became less about insulting God as to questioning Him, as I couldn't understand why Jesus let this happen, and so I was constantly reading online and at the library about apologetics. This lasted until lately. I'm now dealing with "Do I really believe in Him?" syndrome. I know God and Jesus are true, but the question is, do I really believe or not. It's hard to explain, but it's painful.

 

[amishparadise]

I have had nearly every classic obsession imaginable, at some time or other. Lately, it's convincing myself that I have certain illnesses, thoughts that certain horrible things will happen to me, and religious scrupulosity.

 

[powerofprayer]

Wow, Let's see...I have strange eating habits...like first I eat all the noodles, then the veggies, then the meat - never mix foods. Once finished, I won't go back & eat anything else even if I'm still hungry! Everything must be symmetrical. Everything must have a place - I hate clutter. Everything must be organized. The curtains must be equal. I clean, clean, clean. I am a nail biter. I constantly replay conversations over & over in my head. I read & re-read paragraphs. I rewrite all of my notes so they are neat & organized. I'm a list maker...I make a list of lists that I need to make!! My showers are very ritualistic. If my prayers are interrupted, I have to start all over. I ask Jesus into my heart & ask for salvation every night (I guess in case He hasn't heard me the past 10,000 nights!!). I have magical thinking (which is the power to protect people with my thoughts) or at least I like to think I do. My list goes on and on and on.................

 

[steelmagnolia]

Germs and Food borne cross contamination.

I do not eat ground hamberger meat or fresh vegies (vegies steamed or cooked only and I won't let my kids eat raw vegies or ground hamburger meat either).

I scrub the daylights out of apples and oranges.

Let me tell you that I get very uncomfortable if the super market check out is dirty or wet because I immediatly feel like some raw meats must have leaked onto the checkout area where I want to put MY FOOD.

Basically, it all boils down to contamination/germs.

With luvox and using what I learned 9 years ago in cognitive behavioral therapy I can say I'm about 90% better.

 

[beth34]

I'm not diagnosed with OCD, but I know I have some tendencies. I wash my hands a lot. Also, lots of times before I eat or drink, I have to spit. I know that's disgusting, but....

Also, if I lock a door, I have to check that it is really locked and I will check several times until I am satisfied that it is locked.

I have not been diagnosed with OCD and have never really thought about it much, until today - I saw The Tyra Banks Show and that's what the show was about. I do a lot of the things some of her guests were talking about. My strange ways come out at bedtime. I know the doors are all locked but I re-check them about 3 times. I know my kids ceilings fans are off and their closet lights are off but I check them 3 or 4 times too. And even the refridgerator door-I know it's closed, but I have to open and close it about 5 times "just to make sure". Same thing goes for the stove. Do I sound like I have OCD, or am I just a paranoid person!!! Can you do things like this and not have OCD? Oh well, any comments greatly appreciated.

 

[restore]

I wash hands a lot times each day
and keep checking my chair etc
it started when i was sick years ago

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I have OCD. I am all about evenness. Everything has to be even. I have to have things on a table in some sort of pattern of evenness, I have to touch my fingers and feet together evenly, I have to bite down evenly, there is a lot of evenness. Also, 5's. So either multiples of 2 or 5, and I am decent. 10 is a good number. Doesn't happen all the time, but usually it happens. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but I tried to explain to the best of my ability. Thanks.