• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

This isn’t MODESTY?!

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
39,044
9,488
✟420,728.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Alright so ever since I became Christian I did my best to be modest.
And of course especially to Church.
But lately I’ve been wondering if I’m modest in the eyes of God.
According to this video, I’m not..
Even though I don’t wear leggings, or revealing stuff, I’m still immodest.
Because I show my calves in skirts. Someone in the comments said they can guarantee God is looking at me and seeing immodesty.
Another thing in these videos is head covering. I usually (or try to) cover with lace. They said lace isn’t a covering at all.
So basically a little bit of leg showing and you’re a goner.
And pretty much, that all I’m wearing is wrong. I felt so ashamed and am wondering is this how God sees me? Immodest?
"Modesty" means you're not attracting attention to yourself and you don't care. It doesn't mean that you don't look nice, it does mean that you're not trying to get people's attention. If someone got the "righteous" idea to be the most modest person at a wedding by wearing sweats, that's still immodest. If she wants people to think, "look how long that skirt is, look at that elaborate head cover," then that too is being immodest. Showing more skin than called for, or more curves than called for is just one kind of immodesty.

If you want to be modest, picture what we can all agree is immodest: that woman who absolutely has to be the best-dressed everywhere she goes, and if people don't compliment her, she has a problem with that. Especially if people are complimenting someone else. Don't be that woman.
 
Upvote 0

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

Well-Known Member
Apr 13, 2020
497
396
Massachusetts
✟37,418.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Single
No Bible passages are actually used regarding modesty in a sexual way, but for me i think a question of common sense is to not have tops too low cut or skirts too high cut, or jeans too tight etc... and maybe let jewels and make up and hair be nice and pretty but not excessive or distracting? if yiu ask God He himself will show you what he expects of you. He had me give up eye make up for a season once because i was using it in a wrong way, to impress people. i wasnt just doing it because i liked eye make up, i felt ugly without it and inferior. after my make up "fast" i found i could take or leave make up and it has no hold on me anymore. but that was me- and soe women can wear that and feel no conviction at all about it?

ALSO, it helps to remember. many different churches around the globe have different dress codes, different standards of modesty. in a Nigerian church for example, having sleeveless dresses is a no no, because they consider armpits and bare arms to be erotic and a temptation to men. in the UK where i live, a spaghetti strap top in summer (provided it doesnt show bra straps or is cut low) is perfectly acceptable for a hot church service in the middle of June. many USA churches in the Bible belt would be fine with a t shirt but not spaghetti straps. IN Italy, some churches don't like trousers on women. in the middle eastern churches they require pretty much everythign covered- in my teens i went on holiday to Israel with a christian tour group and we visited a Greek Orthodox Church in Galille. two of the women in our party had to wait outside. why? because they were wearing shorts. just ordinary slightly above the knee shorts. but that was not acceptable in Israel in a GO church.
Pigs in tutus are cuter! :p
true.
C61E0E4D-0FBC-4964-82BA-114975CE5C0B.png
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Michie
Upvote 0

Silly Uncle Wayne

Well-Known Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,332
598
58
Dublin
✟110,146.00
Country
Ireland
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Single
Alright so ever since I became Christian I did my best to be modest.
And of course especially to Church.
But lately I’ve been wondering if I’m modest in the eyes of God.
According to this video, I’m not..
Even though I don’t wear leggings, or revealing stuff, I’m still immodest.
Because I show my calves in skirts. Someone in the comments said they can guarantee God is looking at me and seeing immodesty.
Another thing in these videos is head covering. I usually (or try to) cover with lace. They said lace isn’t a covering at all.
So basically a little bit of leg showing and you’re a goner.
And pretty much, that all I’m wearing is wrong. I felt so ashamed and am wondering is this how God sees me? Immodest?
You were showing a bit of calf... Ooh! Err! Missus!

Is this what your denomination is saying, or just what the video says?

In such situations I always recommend the Romans 14 approach: If they are weak, then humour them.
 
Upvote 0

charsan

Charismatic Episcopal Church
Jul 12, 2019
2,297
2,115
54
South California
✟62,421.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
Alright so ever since I became Christian I did my best to be modest.
And of course especially to Church.
But lately I’ve been wondering if I’m modest in the eyes of God.
According to this video, I’m not..
Even though I don’t wear leggings, or revealing stuff, I’m still immodest.
Because I show my calves in skirts. Someone in the comments said they can guarantee God is looking at me and seeing immodesty.
Another thing in these videos is head covering. I usually (or try to) cover with lace. They said lace isn’t a covering at all.
So basically a little bit of leg showing and you’re a goner.
And pretty much, that all I’m wearing is wrong. I felt so ashamed and am wondering is this how God sees me? Immodest?

Like @Michie said stay away from that stuff. YouTube is not a good place to go for advice
 
Upvote 0

coffee4u

Well-Known Member
Dec 11, 2018
5,002
2,819
Australia
✟166,475.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Alright so ever since I became Christian I did my best to be modest.
And of course especially to Church.
But lately I’ve been wondering if I’m modest in the eyes of God.
According to this video, I’m not..
Even though I don’t wear leggings, or revealing stuff, I’m still immodest.
Because I show my calves in skirts. Someone in the comments said they can guarantee God is looking at me and seeing immodesty.
Another thing in these videos is head covering. I usually (or try to) cover with lace. They said lace isn’t a covering at all.
So basically a little bit of leg showing and you’re a goner.
And pretty much, that all I’m wearing is wrong. I felt so ashamed and am wondering is this how God sees me? Immodest?

You want to be very careful not to be slipping into legalism. If you are a new Christian I get it, I do. As you come to a stronger faith though I can tell you some things will change and one of those is 'with doing the right thing' because you will come to realize that the right thing is not a set of rules but what God calls you to do.

So your calves? What about your calves is immodest?

Remember God is not so concerned with our outward appearance- only man is.
God is concerned with the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Now certainly we should be modest because we do not want our brother to stumble.

Romans:
13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.

Do you think showing your calves will cause a brother to stumble? Will it cause a man to have lust? I don't believe so. Perhaps in the 1880's it might since they were not normally seen. If you truly believe the sight of your calves is causing a brother to stumble, cover them. If you believe it is not and you would be more comfortable with them bare, then don't cover them.


Romans 14:2 "One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables."

It was the weak in faith eating only the vegetables, while the stronger in faith could eat anything. The new believers were trying to keep to the rules and keep away from pagan practices -all good things but the strong had moved on to the realization that nothing belonged to the pagans, that it all belonged to God and did not feel worried or ashamed.

Romans 14:23
But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Paul is saying both were right. The weak (or new) were acting correctly for not eating according to their conscience and the more mature were correct in their eating and not being worried according their conscience.

It wasn't the eating or not eating that was the sin, but what was not done in faith-the amount or maturity of faith each person has at any particular time.

To me weak here means new faith, something that has not grown. Also, know if you feel something is sin then at that point in time it is sin. So do what your heart says to do but also know this may just be a season and that as faith grows things may change.
Also know it should be between yourself and God not yourself and some video that you found. To me it appears you are being unduly influenced by others. Again this is due to being new in faith because you want to 'do things correctly' However what one is called to do may not be what another is called to do. The lady in that video may be called to do this or she may be locked into legalism, but she can't tell you what God wants you to do.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Darkhorse
Upvote 0

Sparagmos

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2018
8,632
7,319
53
Portland, Oregon
✟285,562.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Alright so ever since I became Christian I did my best to be modest.
And of course especially to Church.
But lately I’ve been wondering if I’m modest in the eyes of God.
According to this video, I’m not..
Even though I don’t wear leggings, or revealing stuff, I’m still immodest.
Because I show my calves in skirts. Someone in the comments said they can guarantee God is looking at me and seeing immodesty.
Another thing in these videos is head covering. I usually (or try to) cover with lace. They said lace isn’t a covering at all.
So basically a little bit of leg showing and you’re a goner.
And pretty much, that all I’m wearing is wrong. I felt so ashamed and am wondering is this how God sees me? Immodest?
Since God created Eve naked, I can’t imagine the sight of a naked woman bothers him.
 
Upvote 0

Swan7

Made in the image of His Grace
Site Supporter
Aug 3, 2014
9,172
7,365
Forever Summer
✟461,915.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Someone in the comments said they can guarantee God is looking at me and seeing immodesty.

Oh, so they speak for God instead of in agreement with His Word.
Beware of this when you hear people speak for God as if they are prophets.
They are accusing you and this is not of God. God doesn’t accuse anyone, but instead corrects His children and encourages them.

Another thing in these videos is head covering. I usually (or try to) cover with lace. They said lace isn’t a covering at all.
So basically a little bit of leg showing and you’re a goner.
And pretty much, that all I’m wearing is wrong. I felt so ashamed and am wondering is this how God sees me? Immodest?
So they do not believe that women already have a head covering, which is our hair: 1 Corinthians 11:3-16 (please read with the Holy Spirit to teach you).

What matters only is what God convicts you with. You are not condemned and do not let these people’s words tell you that. Learn more about God and His ways with Him. You’ll be amazed from the wisdom God brings. :yellowheart:

Oh and remember: these teaching are about spiritual matters. Look at the context of that time to really get a full picture.
 
Upvote 0

PaulCyp1

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Mar 4, 2018
1,074
849
80
Massachusetts
✟284,255.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Fundamentalist Protestant extremists will dictate all kinds of nonsense describing how you can dress, some denominations far worse than others. If you want to see what true feminine modesty is like, attend a Catholic Mass.
 
Upvote 0