How to Mourn the Grief of Intangible Losses?

[linux.poet]

Recently, I am reading Experiencing Grief by H. Norman Wright. What struck me about the book was that his description of how grief affects people going through it was a more apt description for many intangible things I have lost over the years, not just loved ones who are asleep in Christ awaiting resurrection.

Here’s a list of things that I’ve lost over the years that I’m wondering how to properly mourn the loss of.

Jobs/Career Opportunities
Interests that I wanted to pursue (namely programming, I seem to lose that over and over again trying to get it back)
Time/College (I got my college degree but I lost 10 years of my life doing it.)
Personal safety
Personal stability
Self-respect
Self-confidence
Desire for Singleness (this was incredibly brutal to lose and made me feel like a spiritual failure)
Trust in God and ability to understand Him
Forum accounts (no, seriously, at one point I went to full trauma and grief over losing one of those. I had emotional priority issues back then.)

Any advice? For some reason I think the intangible losses are actually harder for me to grieve than the tangible ones. My default mode for an intangible loss is “get that back and make everyone who took it away from me pay!” which is sin nature loaded. It’s like sitting in front of God and being like a little child shouting “noooo! Give me that back! Evil unbelievers stole my toy!”. So if anyone has advice to help me construct a more faithful and mature response to this, I would appreciate it.

 

[Unqualified]

Have a little service, say a few words and let it go. You have feelings, time heals all wounds it says in the Bible but loss will be felt and the healed scars will be there. Put a little distance between you and them. Your sorrow you say is there, be sorrowful for a time then let it go.

 

[linux.poet]

You have feelings, time heals all wounds it says in the Bible but loss will be felt and the healed scars will be there.

The Bible does not say that time heals all wounds. It is God that does that. See Psalm 147:3 and Jeremiah 30:17.

https://hope1032.com.au/devotions/time-heals-all-wounds-or-does-it-morning-devotions/

In addition, Christ went around healing people personally, which is in direct contradiction to this idea.

Put a little distance between you and them. Your sorrow you say is there, be sorrowful for a time then let it go.

I’m sorry friend, but what if Satan was the thing that took it away from you and you’re supposed to take it back? “Let it go” feels like secular advice, in line with the conforming to the patterns of this world.

I have to say, if Disney and Skillet are doing a song battle in my head, Skillet will win every time. That’s a pretty silly way of putting it. But it’s true. It’s not sorrow I’m trying to get rid of, it’s anger. And anger carries with it a sense of importance.

 

[Unqualified]

Maybe God did it, let it go, you can’t change the past. Sorry you’re not reaching the heights of success you want. But life has away of humbling us. Isa 26:3-8.