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Thing's you shouldn't say...

lucypevensie

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You think I can't see through your little plot here? Yeah yeah your car ate the ring. I know you were just trying to steal it so you can pull it out later and pretend to be married.

Your husband gets home later than you expected after a day fishing with his buddies.
 
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Oct 8, 2012
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Whats with the 13 pizza hut vouchers in the car have you been buying pizza again! You should have called! Why do I have to fight with pepporoni and green peppers? !

Your 4 year old flooded the house leaving the bath water running and hes loving the water everywhere.
 
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Rebecca Sue

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Well just make sure he has is floaties on and fill up the house. It will be fun for him to swim around the house. He can play like the furniture is islands and they really will be.

My neighbors stay in their man cave garage and watch sports and drink beer incessantly. How can I get them to take better care of themselves?
 
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lucypevensie

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Today we're gonna play "let's drown!"

What not to say when to someone who is ahead of the line in front of you at the grocery store and they have a bunch of stuff and a coupon for each thing and three screaming kids and you're right behind them holding only one thing and you have a raging headache.
Right after you budge in front of her with your single item, tell her that her kids are ruining everyone's lives, and the junk food she's buying will only make her kids more hyper. It'll be a lightbulb moment for her.
 
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lucypevensie

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Well just make sure he has is floaties on and fill up the house. It will be fun for him to swim around the house. He can play like the furniture is islands and they really will be.

My neighbors stay in their man cave garage and watch sports and drink beer incessantly. How can I get them to take better care of themselves?

Tell your neighbor and the guys they need to stop drinking beer, and start drinking green tea; and instead of watching sports, they need to turn on the Christian radio station and listen to sermons instead.

To the clerk at the customer service counter when you need to return a purchase.
 
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lucypevensie

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He only does that when he is upset about something or someone. What deep dark information are you hiding from me?

Your mother-in-law wants to have lunch with you, and it's nothing personal against her, but you just don't feel like going out for lunch.
 
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