Things You Should NOT Say on the First Date

[Sophrosyne]

I think Chuck E. Cheese is a very romantic place to eat.... don't you?

 

[shineyourlight]

I think Chuck E. Cheese is a very romantic place to eat.... don't you?

Duh. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd guys be engaged by the end of the date.

 

[shineyourlight]

I just gotta warn you that if I act a little mean, it's only because mercury is currently in retrograde. But, you should be fine because you’re a Leo with Scorpio rising and a Cancer moon, so you’re probably already a terrible person and we should totally get along!

Okay, okay......guilty, I found your mom on Facebook and asked her for your birthday information, but aren’t you glad I did!?!? So, what are we drinking?

And, I love you.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Duh. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd guys be engaged by the end of the date.

Do you want ketchup or mustard on your road kill?

 

[JesseRaymondBassett]

Do you want some cheese with your wine?

 

[LadyOfMystery]

I just gotta warn you that if I act a little mean, it's only because mercury is currently in retrograde. But, you should be fine because you’re a Leo with Scorpio rising and a Cancer moon, so you’re probably already a terrible person and we should totally get along!

Okay, okay......guilty, I found your mom on Facebook and asked her for your birthday information, but aren’t you glad I did!?!? So, what are we drinking?

And, I love you.

I think you should win a participation trophy, this was the best thing I've read so far today haha



Also "Hey this is the same restaurant I took your sister to last week"

 

[shineyourlight]

Do you want some cheese with your wine?

That would be grate, thanks.

 

[shineyourlight]

Do you want ketchup or mustard on your road kill?

Skip the mustard and ketchup. I eat my road kill plain.

I think you should win a participation trophy, this was the best thing I've read so far today haha



Also "Hey this is the same restaurant I took your sister to last week"

Thank you, thank you.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

"I need you to pay, I don't have a job."

 

[Niels]

Are you pregnant?

Never ask a woman who isn't your wife if she's pregnant. No, I haven't committed this faux pas myself. I've also never been slapped. Perhaps there's a connection.



Admittedly, if she asked me if I was pregnant, I might be amused by her bizarre sense of humor. She might also be bonkers, however, in which case I'd carefully remove myself from the premises.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Skip the mustard and ketchup. I eat my road kill plain.


Thank you, thank you.

Do you want that domestic or industrial grade plain?

 

[Sophrosyne]

Are those pimples or do you have chicken pox?

 

[mojoboy31]

Worst things to say on a first date?... "I love you" gotta be the worst but.... here are a few more...

"I promise I'm not contagious...."

"My ex used to laugh like that.... Yes it's a lovely restaurant, my ex loved it so much... you know your name is the same as hers? And you even have the same hair color.... Thats a funny coincidence, right?"

"You know, you remind me of my mother...."

"So how much do you weigh?"

 

[JustSomeBloke]

"Is that a wig?"

"Oh! I seem to have forgotten to bring my wallet tonight!"

 

[JustSomeBloke]

"Let's do a fun role play. I'll be Boaz, and you be Ruth."

 

[dzheremi]

Okay, okay......guilty, I found your mom on Facebook and asked her for your birthday information, but aren’t you glad I did!?!? So, what are we drinking?

Joke's on you: my mom's dead. I don't who that lady you talked to was.

And I don't drink. It dulls my senses to the point where I am prone to making bad decisions, like this date.

(Hey, you said Mercury was in retrograde and all that other mumbo jumbo...you're not the only one affected by the planetary alignment or whatever.)

And, I love you.

Anyone can say it. If you really wanted to convince me, you'd put it in an interpretive dance so that everyone at the Chuck-E-Cheese could see. (Also, we should probably get out of here. Kids are petri dishes of disease, and there's probably more Covid in that ball pit than in all the wet markets in Wuhan.)

 

[shineyourlight]

Are you pregnant?

Never ask a woman who isn't your wife if she's pregnant. No, I haven't committed this faux pas myself. I've also never been slapped. Perhaps there's a connection.



Admittedly, if she asked me if I was pregnant, I might be amused by her bizarre sense of humor. She might also be bonkers, however, in which case I'd carefully remove myself from the premises.

That's when I would just respond with, "Yeah, with yours."

See him run for the hills.

Do you want that domestic or industrial grade plain?

Hm, that's a hard decision.

 

[shineyourlight]

"Let's do a fun role play. I'll be Boaz, and you be Ruth."

#winning

 

[shineyourlight]

Anyone can say it. If you really wanted to convince me, you'd put it in an interpretive dance so that everyone at the Chuck-E-Cheese could see.

You asked, it shall be given.

 

[shineyourlight]

Worst things to say on a first date?... "I love you" gotta be the worst but.... here are a few more...

"I promise I'm not contagious...."
"

Only AFTER you cough in their face.