Things You Should NOT Say on the First Date

[dzheremi]

You asked, it shall be given.

Me, texting a friend: So I don't wanna jinx it, but this date's going pretty well...except she's dressed like a lumberjack and flopping around white people style like she's trying out to be in a community theater version of Hamilton. Dunno what to do with that.

Response: Well, as long as her name's not Keyleth or something stupid like that, and she doesn't think she's an elf...

Me:

 

[Sophrosyne]

That's when I would just respond with, "Yeah, with yours."

See him run for the hills.


Hm, that's a hard decision.

yup..... the 18 wheelers do tenderize it better than cars but often they leave more of a hard rubber taste to it.

 

[mojoboy31]

Only AFTER you cough in their face.

hahaha, nah first you leave them wondering what in the world you mean, THEN you cough right in their face.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

*points to leftovers on her plate

"Do you mind if I have that?"

 

[mojoboy31]

"I'll have a hamburger, and the lady will have a salad. She's watching her figure..."

 

[shineyourlight]

yup..... the 18 wheelers do tenderize it better than cars but often they leave more of a hard rubber taste to it.

Right? You gave me a hard choice. I wouldn't know.

hahaha, nah first you leave them wondering what in the world you mean, THEN you cough right in their face.

Oh my, that's even better.

Let's stick with that plan.

*points to leftovers on her plate

"Do you mind if I have that?"

No, no. You're doing it wrong.

You don't ask FIRST. You ask AS YOU ARE ALREADY TAKING HER LEFTOVERS OFF HER PLATE.

You ask when you do it, silly.

 

[Radagast]

Skip the mustard and ketchup. I eat my road kill plain.

Here in Oz, we call it "road pizza."

 

[Sophrosyne]

Here in Oz, we call it "road pizza."

Especially when it is run over by a steamroller

 

[Radagast]

Especially when it is run over by a steamroller

Or one of these:

 

[Niels]

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[shineyourlight]

Here in Oz, we call it "road pizza."

Oooo, my favorite.

 

[shineyourlight]

So, like, what are we?

 

[mojoboy31]

So, like, what are we?

oh snap, that's a good one!

How about "let's talk about our future."?

 

[Sketcher]

So . . . Ziba in the Bible had fifteen sons.

 

[shineyourlight]

oh snap, that's a good one!

How about "let's talk about our future."?

Yes, and as soon as you say that, I'll grab the scrapbook which was hidden behind my chair, and it has pictures our faces on our "wedding day" (a face I grab from your Facebook and my Facebook) and pictures of our "children."

So . . . Ziba in the Bible had fifteen sons.

Oh my.

 

[mojoboy31]

Yes, and as soon as you say that, I'll grab the scrapbook which was hidden behind my chair, and it has pictures our faces on our "wedding day" (a face I grab from your Facebook and my Facebook) and pictures of our "children."


Oh my.

nothing says romantic first date like creepy scrapbooking that plots our lives together

 

[keith99]

"I've booked a table at a vegan restaurant. You don't mind, do you?"

Doesn't that depend a lot on which person on the date is vegan or close to it? Being a dedicated dead flesh carrion eater if I say that you can bet my date is at least vegetarian and I'm scoring major points. Of course I'd do teh legwork to make sure it is a good vegan restaurant,

 

[shineyourlight]

nothing says romantic first date like creepy scrapbooking that plots our lives together

I knew you'd understand.

<3 <3 <3

Second date, we're going wedding dress and tuxedo shopping.

 

[Radagast]

Doesn't that depend a lot on which person on the date is vegan or close to it?

It's a first date. You don't know.

 

[Radagast]

Second date, we're going wedding dress and tuxedo shopping.

OK, that one is just terrifying.