I'm sorry for complaining about 'the whole world' lol but it does seem that way... now that i'm being extracted from religious strongholds, i'm shaking my head, i'm bewildered that i even had to come THROUGH mainstream Christianity!!
it's the worst starting point ever, and caused me much suffering... the last time i tried to leave, still thinking that leaving Christianity meant leaving Christ, but i was suffering so much that i DID THINK about leaving Christ behind, just to escape the pain...
and I think Christ got a little impatient with me, even tho He is sovereign and knew it was coming of course! anyway, He dipped my body in this unspeakable HELL, and it only lasted a second, but it was the longest second of my life!! and i couldn't barely put one foot in front of the other for about an hour after, coz it had weakened my body so much... if it had gone on for any longer it would have killed me. then the still small voice said 'are you sure you want to leave?'
i thought about this, and i thought that i had created this hell, coz i knew it wasn't the firey hell that legend talks about... but what i think now is that it's IMPOSSIBLE to leave Christ!! if Christ wasn't here the universe would COLLAPSE under indescribable evil within seconds!
what is that scripture? even if we believe not, He yet abides faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.
I'm shame facedly feeling a little ticked at Jesus for HIDING the fact that mainstream Christianity was a baaaaaad scene, even tho He actually DID try to tell me a couple of times, but I just didn't get it...
but 'it's the glory of God to conceal a matter, and the glory of kings to seek it out'
God wants us to search and work for the truth, and all i can say was that i was lazy, cowardly, and deceived...
so i don't know WHO or WHAT to be angry at this morning lol i'm just a little teensy weensy bit ANGRY AS ALL GET OUT lol
Hi Pneuma...
where ya been hanging out?
there is a book of poetry by a whacky sufi poet named 'Hafiz' and it's called 'I Heard God Laughing'
that's all i can say about that today lol 'I hear God laughing'
