- Jun 18, 2011
- 3,097
- 664
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Divorced
The following is a post from someone who works with singles:
I have a question for the gentlemen out there – how do you know you are in the friend zone, how did you get there and how do you get out?
In my experience this is a very cut and dry subject and the truth may sting a bit. Simply, within 2-3 dates if you are not physically flirting, touching hands, hugging and moving towards kissing, you are in the friend zone. You got there because you didn’t make a move and because you were probably too scared of being rejected by her.
There is no need to drag this dance out. You don’t need to take your time with finding out if she is interested in dating you. You have to ask her out on a proper date and be clear so she knows you want to date her and not just hang out and be friends with her. You will rarely cross over the friend barrier if you don’t do this. There are two reoccurring scenarios that complicate this topic – if you work together or if she is dating someone else. If you work together, it’s possible for the lines of communication to be crossed and there are company policies to consider but the same rules apply. After work, you ask her out on a date and you reap the reward or the repercussions. If she is dating someone else you shouldn’t be pursuing her until she is single, period.
If you are one of those men that constantly ends up in the friend zone, then this is an area you can work on and see change quickly. You simply have to take a leap of faith and be confident that if/when you are rejected, you will dust yourself off and try again. You may get a lot of no’s before a yes but at least you will be using your time looking for a girl who is interested in getting to know you better rather than a girl that only wants to be your friend. Rip the band aid off. ( OUCH!!!) Confidence is key. You will save yourself a lot of awkward moments in the future if you are honest and let her know that you are interested instead of getting emotionally involved before you know if she is interested in dating you.
Good luck friends!
So,Ladies do you agree with her?
I usually wait until about the fourth date to hold hands or to kiss. Is this is what I have been doing wrong all of these years?
One reason,when I was in my twenties, and sometimes now, that I was always hesitant to touch someone on the second date,was not only the fear of rejection,but I did not want her to feel as if I was coming on too strong. So,I decided to be a "gentleman",and not force myself upon her. ( I may want to run for public office someday. I do not want some woman telling the media that I made unwanted sexual advances toward her. ) Meanwhile,the girl and/or young lady probably thought that I was just a "cold fish" with no emotion,no personality,and no feelings.
I have a question for the gentlemen out there – how do you know you are in the friend zone, how did you get there and how do you get out?
In my experience this is a very cut and dry subject and the truth may sting a bit. Simply, within 2-3 dates if you are not physically flirting, touching hands, hugging and moving towards kissing, you are in the friend zone. You got there because you didn’t make a move and because you were probably too scared of being rejected by her.
There is no need to drag this dance out. You don’t need to take your time with finding out if she is interested in dating you. You have to ask her out on a proper date and be clear so she knows you want to date her and not just hang out and be friends with her. You will rarely cross over the friend barrier if you don’t do this. There are two reoccurring scenarios that complicate this topic – if you work together or if she is dating someone else. If you work together, it’s possible for the lines of communication to be crossed and there are company policies to consider but the same rules apply. After work, you ask her out on a date and you reap the reward or the repercussions. If she is dating someone else you shouldn’t be pursuing her until she is single, period.
If you are one of those men that constantly ends up in the friend zone, then this is an area you can work on and see change quickly. You simply have to take a leap of faith and be confident that if/when you are rejected, you will dust yourself off and try again. You may get a lot of no’s before a yes but at least you will be using your time looking for a girl who is interested in getting to know you better rather than a girl that only wants to be your friend. Rip the band aid off. ( OUCH!!!) Confidence is key. You will save yourself a lot of awkward moments in the future if you are honest and let her know that you are interested instead of getting emotionally involved before you know if she is interested in dating you.
Good luck friends!
So,Ladies do you agree with her?
I usually wait until about the fourth date to hold hands or to kiss. Is this is what I have been doing wrong all of these years?
One reason,when I was in my twenties, and sometimes now, that I was always hesitant to touch someone on the second date,was not only the fear of rejection,but I did not want her to feel as if I was coming on too strong. So,I decided to be a "gentleman",and not force myself upon her. ( I may want to run for public office someday. I do not want some woman telling the media that I made unwanted sexual advances toward her. ) Meanwhile,the girl and/or young lady probably thought that I was just a "cold fish" with no emotion,no personality,and no feelings.
Last edited: