the difficulties of finding a home church

[Pope66]

I find it really difficult finding a home church. I have prayed about it and have asked my pastor of my old church to pray that I find a new church to go to since I moved away. That has been a year and a half since I left my home church as it is too far to go there now. Since then I have not found a home church. I have visited a few churches around the area where I live now but I not been back. I do want to find other churches in my area. Yet today when I planned to go to a church I just froze in the room where I am and afraid to go outside and head to church. I am disappointed in myself and frustrated as I realise that it is really important for a Christian to attend a church. It is especially hard for me to go to church by myself around here. However, there is no one around that will go with me to one and rarely if ever I get invited to church by someone. What should I do as I dread that if I do plan to go to church next Sunday I will just get too anxious to go there?

 

[Paidiske]

I wonder, if you contacted the minister of one of the local churches, whether something like this might be possible? For them to introduce you to someone at the church who could maybe catch up with you for coffee a time or two first, and then when it came time to go to church, you'd have someone there that you already knew, and who could look out for you?

If someone approached me, I'd be more than happy to organise something like that, and I think most ministers would/should be.

 

[kufe]

I find it really difficult finding a home church. I have prayed about it and have asked my pastor of my old church to pray that I find a new church to go to since I moved away. That has been a year and a half since I left my home church as it is too far to go there now. Since then I have not found a home church. I have visited a few churches around the area where I live now but I not been back. I do want to find other churches in my area. Yet today when I planned to go to a church I just froze in the room where I am and afraid to go outside and head to church. I am disappointed in myself and frustrated as I realise that it is really important for a Christian to attend a church. It is especially hard for me to go to church by myself around here. However, there is no one around that will go with me to one and rarely if ever I get invited to church by someone. What should I do as I dread that if I do plan to go to church next Sunday I will just get too anxious to go there?

I understand what you are going through, currently I myself am on a journey to find a good church here as well, so far the one ive gone to hasn't felt right for me, although its not a bad church it just doesn't feel like a place I feel completely comfortable in, I dont know maybe I am just to picky but I feel like when I find the right church it'll feel a lot more comfortable but the thing is its expected that you would feel awkward or anxious, same as me considering I too am going alone as well so you definitely feel like the awkward loner for the first time. But the thing is you need to fight that part of you that is anxious, church is not about the people but its about whether you are able to find God, focus on God not on what others think of you, when you realize church really isn't about the people but it is about God and God alone everything else falls into place and your anxiety isn't really an issue anymore because at that point your ultimate focus and care is on God. Battle your anxiety and look to God, know that he is with you where ever you go and smiles upon you because you are making the effort to find him. God bless and go to church, dont be afraid: 2 timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Goodluck and I wish you the best, and who knows maybe the church that you are to anxious to go to next sunday might just be the church that is for you, sometimes the devil likes to use our emotions to keep us from where we are meant to be with God, go to this church.

 

[Pope66]

I wonder, if you contacted the minister of one of the local churches, whether something like this might be possible? For them to introduce you to someone at the church who could maybe catch up with you for coffee a time or two first, and then when it came time to go to church, you'd have someone there that you already knew, and who could look out for you?

If someone approached me, I'd be more than happy to organise something like that, and I think most ministers would/should be.

Thank you for the response. I do suffer from serious social anxiety problems and it has been a constant battle all my life.

Since I don't have a car and don't live in the city and public transport is limited in my area on Sundays I did a few months ago I phoned the church to ask if someone at that church can give me to get a lift there as I unable to go there via public transport.

I did enquire on another church too about attending a home group where I can meet people there however I did not ever get a response back.

It is a good idea if I did call a church and explain I do have social anxiety and it has caused me to not go to church.

 

[Pope66]

I understand what you are going through, currently I myself am on a journey to find a good church here as well, so far the one ive gone to hasn't felt right for me, although its not a bad church it just doesn't feel like a place I feel completely comfortable in, I dont know maybe I am just to picky but I feel like when I find the right church it'll feel a lot more comfortable but the thing is its expected that you would feel awkward or anxious, same as me considering I too am going alone as well so you definitely feel like the awkward loner for the first time. But the thing is you need to fight that part of you that is anxious, church is not about the people but its about whether you are able to find God, focus on God not on what others think of you, when you realize church really isn't about the people but it is about God and God alone everything else falls into place and your anxiety isn't really an issue anymore because at that point your ultimate focus and care is on God. Battle your anxiety and look to God, know that he is with you where ever you go and smiles upon you because you are making the effort to find him. God bless and go to church, dont be afraid: 2 timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Goodluck and I wish you the best, and who knows maybe the church that you are to anxious to go to next sunday might just be the church that is for you, sometimes the devil likes to use our emotions to keep us from where we are meant to be with God, go to this church.

Thank you for the response. I know the feeling of even visiting the church and even though there is nothing bad about the church, deep down I feel that the church is not right for me. I did visit a church very far from my hometown last weekend and I really did enjoy it and if I did live there I will make it my home church however I unable to move where I live.

I wish you the best for finding a home church. Yes, you are right that the devil likes to use our emotions to stall our walk with Christ.

 

[Sabertooth]

Since I don't have a car and don't live in the city and public transport is limited in my area on Sundays

You could get a bicycle...

 

[Paidiske]

I'm sorry people didn't respond. That's incredibly poor.

 

[kufe]

Thank you for the response. I do suffer from serious social anxiety problems and it has been a constant battle all my life.

Since I don't have a car and don't live in the city and public transport is limited in my area on Sundays I did a few months ago I phoned the church to ask if someone at that church can give me to get a lift there as I unable to go there via public transport.

I did enquire on another church too about attending a home group where I can meet people there however I did not ever get a response back.

It is a good idea if I did call a church and explain I do have social anxiety and it has caused me to not go to church.

So you can't go to the first church due to lack of transportation and you phoned the church but they never replied back (tbh thats pretty incompetent of that church), tbh both churches seem like disappointments, but you know what things dont work out maybe cause thats just not the place you are meant to be in but the thing is you are letting your fear control your life, I have my issues with social anxiety as well (im pretty good at hiding it though) but I always think of what is the right thing to say or what is the right thing to do in front of people, how to not act stupid, even posting a reply on Christian forum sometimes gives me anxiety lool but I still do it because I dont want my fear to rule over my life, the thing is with social anxiety in order to win over that hurtle in your life you need to come face to face the thing that you fear the most, which I can assume is dealing with the public. But the thing is with church like I said before dont let you fear rule over your spirit. Matthew 6:25-30 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
contemplate on this verse. but I really urge you to continue and try to find a church even if its giving social anxiety because its allowing you to step out of your comfort zone and deal with the fear, and while you do this just focus on God.

 

[Paidiske]

You could get a bicycle...

The OP's in a pretty small country town. The number of churches even within reasonable cycling distance would be small.

 

[kufe]

God will take you where you need to go.

 

[Radagast]

I find it really difficult finding a home church. I have prayed about it and have asked my pastor of my old church to pray that I find a new church to go to since I moved away.

What kind of church did you use to attend?

There are quite a few churches in your general area (within a 5 km radius), including Catholic, Anglican, Baptist and Presbyterian.

 

[lastofall]

Deny yourself (your own will) because it is your will that is seeking an excuse.

 

[Pope66]

I'm sorry people didn't respond. That's incredibly poor.

That is true. After that, I was put off with going to any church until a year time. There was even another church close to where I live where I used to attend quite a bit but I stopped going as the pastor would not answer any of my messages either through sms or email. All he could have done was even respond with one word but I got no response. He did respond to my messages previously. I have no idea why he gave me the silent treatment. Yet in the end those churches are not meant for me. I am sure God will lead me to a church where I will fit in.

 

[Pope66]

You could get a bicycle...

I will keep that in mind.

 

[Pope66]

What kind of church did you use to attend?

There are quite a few churches in your general area (within a 5 km radius), including Catholic, Anglican, Baptist and Presbyterian.

I used to attend a Pentecostal church. There are a few churches in my area. Yet since I live in a small town I don't feel comfortable going to a church in the same town where I live. I would like to visit the churches in nearby towns and it doesn't have to be Pentecostal.

 

[Pope66]

So you can't go to the first church due to lack of transportation and you phoned the church but they never replied back (tbh thats pretty incompetent of that church), tbh both churches seem like disappointments, but you know what things dont work out maybe cause thats just not the place you are meant to be in but the thing is you are letting your fear control your life, I have my issues with social anxiety as well (im pretty good at hiding it though) but I always think of what is the right thing to say or what is the right thing to do in front of people, how to not act stupid, even posting a reply on Christian forum sometimes gives me anxiety lool but I still do it because I dont want my fear to rule over my life, the thing is with social anxiety in order to win over that hurtle in your life you need to come face to face the thing that you fear the most, which I can assume is dealing with the public. But the thing is with church like I said before dont let you fear rule over your spirit. Matthew 6:25-30 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
contemplate on this verse. but I really urge you to continue and try to find a church even if its giving social anxiety because its allowing you to step out of your comfort zone and deal with the fear, and while you do this just focus on God.

Thank you for the message. I have let fear dominate my life and that why I am socially isolated. I do have a few friends however anxiety generally for most of my life has held me back. I will strive not to let fear ruin my spirit.

 

[Radagast]

Yet since I live in a small town I don't feel comfortable going to a church in the same town where I live.

Why not? Surely that would be ideal?

 

[Pope66]

Why not? Surely that would be ideal?

I grew up in this town since I had parents live there. I a year and a half moved back here. There is a good church nearby however I am single and the rest of the congregation seemed to be not. I would choose to go to this church if I was not single. There is another church I did go to for a while in this town and there were some singles, however, in the end, I did not feel welcomed by the pastor. There is another church I did visit not so far away however it is mostly elderly people there. Yet, of course, my social anxiety does not help with finding a home church.