The date..guys only

[SnowyMacie]

...and that's my cue.

 

[Goodbook]

I also realised something else. All that time when guys have been having coffee or cup of tea or some other drink with me, it had been a date!!

I didnt even know?! i just thought they were thirsty and needed a drink. Were they actually interested in me? But some of them were married.

 

[Goodbook]

I think its better to say I dont drink then just point out they are married and shouldnt be drinking with me.

 

[Goodbook]

Or, ok, bring your wife.

 

[Elliewaves]

banana pancakes; kook kook achoo

 

[Goodbook]

Thankfully, I dont live in america where theres coffee places. They must be real romantic over there maybe?

In nz, a coffee place is a dive where workers hang out on their tea breaks and have a cigarette. (Outside). If its any more upmarket, its a pretentious place where hipsters hangout, and you get blasted with obnoxious rock music.

 

[Goodbook]

On my tea break, I would go to the nearest cafe and order a hot chocolate and take my book cos I dont read the paper. I think it would be a bit strange for a guy to do that with me and consider that a date. I supooseif he wanted to, he could, but i would be busy sipping my hot chocolate and reading my book as i wont get to do that in work time. He could bring his book too and we would just sit together and sip hot chocolate.

Im not one for conversation in my tea break.

 

[Goodbook]

Which is only 15 mintutes long. Or 10 minutes, depending on your workplace rules.

 

[Goodbook]

Usually i would go for breaks on my own cos if i went with others sometimes theyd want to gossip and chit chat and that would be annoying. Didnt matter if they were male or female. If they were co workers and id been working all day with them the last thing i would want to do is spend my break time with them.

 

[Goodbook]

People who go out delibrately to cafes to chat are people whove got too much time on their hands lol.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

People who go out delibrately to cafes to chat are people whove got too much time on their hands lol.

No. It just makes them friendly people who enjoy talking to others.

By your logic any type of function that involves the sole purpose of socializing would be thoroughly pointless and a waste of time.

 

[Goodbook]

Nothing wrong with a walk in the park, but I find going to a coffee house dubious as nobody except ladies of leisure congregate there to gossip. Plus if a guy goes there with a girl, then you be the target of gossip.

I have no time for gossips. Sorry. I know my church does already have coffee meetings with all church folk anyway, so we could just join that. In that case, it wouldnt even be a date it just be fellowship with the old folk. Depending on the coffee place. I can just go there if I want to talk.

I think i did go there one time with my friend a lady from church. Then this other lady saw me and offered to pray for me as i was looking down. Its mostly ladies, i dont really see any men there. If men get coffee its usually on the go at the petrol station or coffee cart in a takeaway cup. You cant even sit down there.

 

[Goodbook]

Gosh all this time after church and ive been having cups of tea and a scone afterward, i didnt realise I was dating!

I dont remember any riveting conversations thought. If it was a guy they usually asked me how the service was or maybe hows work? And then id just say oh boring as usual. They seemed to want to talk shop.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Okay you clearly have no understanding of American culture because whatever a coffee shop is to New Zealanders, they are highly industrious places in America. Do you even know what the term "lady of leisure" means? You're essentially calling any woman who goes to one a prostitute.

I don't know if you have some social issues or other problems that need to be sorted out, but your characterization of what's normal is highly irrational and your posts border on the nonsensical.

Here's the facts: you're on a forum where the overwhelming majority of people (including males) are American. That means our responses to your questions may not fit into your preconceived notions of cultural paradigms. Does that compute to you? Americans go to coffee for first dates. No adult with any concept of reality is going to be found at a dance, much less meet someone there and whisk her off her feet right away. This isn't Cinderella. This is an 18+ forum so that means nobody is going to be in high school where dances are a normal occurrence. We're adults, we meet each other in adult situations and we engage each other in adult contexts. That means coffee. That means drinks. That means—if the relationship progresses far enough—more engaging dates like dinner, walks, plays, concerts, etc.

If that's not how they do things in New Zealand, fine, nobody here is criticizing your culture. So stop with the priggish attitude towards ours.

 

[Goodbook]

I meant work, not the service! Lol

 

[Goodbook]

Also, in home group thats where we have the deep and meaningful spiritual conversations.

 

[Goodbook]

We dont really have them at a coffee place where everyone can hear.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Miss spaulding you are not a guy so please dont post in this thread. I didnt really ask for your opinion or your thoughts on logic. Sorry. Start your own thread and cafe if you just wanna chat and socialize.

I didn't come in this thread to chat and socialize. I came to correct your post. Which I did, and now I'm finished.

 

[Goodbook]

It interesting though if a guy takes you out to a special dinner or meal and he doesnt say grace. Then you know he isnt really a christian I suppose.

 

[Goodbook]

I think people may not know the difference between a date and just casual socializing??