The curse of being single.

[Tarvorok]

I've always thought that the way I looked at relationships was different than most people, when I get into one I take that relationship like an oath, promising myself to be there for that person no matter what happens, but somehow despite all the good I try to do in them they always crash and burn at some point.

Sometimes it's about something stupid like the other person couldn't imagine marrying me because of my Cerebral Palsy and autism (yeah, that was an honest reason for one ending) or it could be as simple as me misunderstanding something and then they get mad because they have to explain a lot of stuff in order for me to understand.

I have never honestly felt truly in love with anyone that I have ever been with, like that feeling of (wow, she's definitely the one for me) and I always ask God if I'm making the right decision, but obviously since I'm single that's a clear indication I haven't been.

Where I live there aren't many places at all to get out and meet new people, the town is so small that you could drive through the entire thing in under a few minutes. If you want to go anywhere to socialize around here you need to go out of town to a bigger city. I'm also not big on dating sites, I always know that there are better looking people on those than me or they have more money, etc. I remember one time I went four months without getting a single message on one of them, despite the few I tossed out genuinely to others.

I've always wondered if it was meant for me to be single, or if something needed to happen in my life before the right one came along, but I'm getting older by the second, and the older you get the harder it is to find someone. I enjoy time to myself don't get me wrong, but I would certainly like to have someone to share it with from time to time, someone loving and honest, who truly can see past my physical and mental disabilities.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

You say it's a curse; God calls it a gift. I realise the struggle is real sometimes. But when the world hands you a lemon..If it were me, I would just preoccupy my time discovering the goodness of God and what He's given me and using it for my good and His glory. Then when the thought of time closing in on me comes as far as the chances of finding "the one"..It would be a time for a "Nevertheless moment"

God if it's your will for me to remain single then have your way. But I lean more on the side of if we delight ourselves in Him then he WILL give us the desires of our hearts in His timing. How old are you anyway?

 

[com7fy8]

I've always thought that the way I looked at relationships was different than most people, when I get into one I take that relationship like an oath, promising myself to be there for that person no matter what happens, but somehow despite all the good I try to do in them they always crash and burn at some point.

I think it is good to be ready to love, like this, but it is wise not to assume someone else is like this. I would say feel each one out, discover how each one really is, and not to be wishful.

And you can find mature Christians and couples who can share with you. But be easy on their time; if they are genuinely loving people, they already have some number of family and others they are caring about in prayer and helping them.

So, go easy on yourself, and no hurry > feed along, discover whatever God does have for you, each day.

 

[bèlla]

This is a beautiful post. I appreciate the raw honesty you've shared. It's touching.

I don't believe in glib answers. I think they're a disservice to others and I've seen more than my share. It's true that it can be difficult to find a partner. Irrespective of your physical state. But it's equally true that disabilities bring additional challenges to the picture that many will never understand.

And in the narrowing of opportunity faith enters and reduces the possibilities even more. It would be disingenuous of me to tell you "be patient" or "occupy yourself with other things." I'm sure you've heard it all before.

The rugged cross resting on your shoulders is very different from the one I'm holding. And it's the realization of what you're facing and the imminent grace of the Beloved that compels my silence. It's the reality that sometimes words aren't what we want.

Oftentimes, we need to be heard and hear we're not alone.

I don't have the answers. But I can assure you that today you were heard. And I hope that knowledge brings you peace.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

It's possible for you to find someone and you will never know if you could've found someone unless you keep trying. You have nothing to lose and you were able to atblat l have some relationships, eventually one of these will work out more than likely. You are plenty young so have plenty of time to find exactly what you are looking for.

 

[blackribbon]

Honestly, I think you expect too much out of a partner. There are times when you can't be there, even if you want to...and other times when you simply have to be a support as they do things on their own. I suspect that you are almost making the relationship a god. I am big on having a strong partnership, but it is also is important to remember that both people in a relationship are also separate individuals.

It is obvious from this site and other singles oriented sites that simply wanting a partner isn't a guarantee that you will get one. I work daily on accepting that I do not have a partner anymore and that may be my life now. Contentment and gratefulness with the life God as gifted me with is my goal even if it isn't my dream.

FYI: I dated a man whom I loved and I was considering marrying, but he was so focused on the relationship he sort of left me out. If I dreamed out loud with him, he would take it and build it into a plan...and my dreams no longer felt like mine. I believe that a strong relationship is one where the togetherness makes each individual stronger. The Prov 31 woman runs her own business and the household and her husband is simply proud of her. It is a team with individual responsibilities.

I hope that you find someone. But more than that, I hope you find a purpose in your life that isn't to just find a spouse. A way that you can use your passion and love to serve others who need to be loved like that.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

you got two options:

get better or aim lower.

in the meantime, don't let someone tell you that being single is a gift from God. it is NOT a gift, it is merely a circumstance. the actual "gift of singleness" is the ability to be ok with the prospect of never being in a romantic relationship. not everyone has this gift and it is detrimental for anyone to jedi mind trick themselves into saying they do. if you want someone, then you have to take the necessary steps to getting someone.

 

[Lost4words]

I have a very hard time remaining single. Soon as i am out of the house, and especially when in the park, i get quite a few sniffs and tails wagging! I have to literally run for my life!

 

[bèlla]

Honestly, I think you expect too much out of a partner. There are times when you can't be there, even if you want to...and other times when you simply have to be a support as they do things on their own. I suspect that you are almost making the relationship a god. I am big on having a strong partnership, but it is also is important to remember that both people in a relationship are also separate individuals.

It is obvious from this site and other singles oriented sites that simply wanting a partner isn't a guarantee that you will get one. I work daily on accepting that I do not have a partner anymore and that may be my life now. Contentment and gratefulness with the life God as gifted me with is my goal even if it isn't my dream.

FYI: I dated a man whom I loved and I was considering marrying, but he was so focused on the relationship he sort of left me out. If I dreamed out loud with him, he would take it and build it into a plan...and my dreams no longer felt like mine. I believe that a strong relationship is one where the togetherness makes each individual stronger. The Prov 31 woman runs her own business and the household and her husband is simply proud of her. It is a team with individual responsibilities.

I hope that you find someone. But more than that, I hope you find a purpose in your life that isn't to just find a spouse. A way that you can use your passion and love to serve others who need to be loved like that.

This should be placed in a sticky in the singles forum. It's very well said and you should be proud of your maturity and wisdom. It's evident in your words.

I've had opportunities to settle down. But in every instance I stepped away from the relationship. Primarily for the reasons mentioned. They wanted to be my orbit. They needed someone who'd focus her time and energy on them. They were unable to grasp that I wore many hats and wife wasn't the lone role I'd hold. God had other things in mind.

It really came down to purpose and their inability to respect that I was needed elsewhere. They couldn't support the vision He'd placed in my heart because it conflicted with theirs. In the end I chose Him and I'd do it again.

 

[blackribbon]

I have a very hard time remaining single. Soon as i am out of the house, and especially when in the park, i get quite a few sniffs and tails wagging! I have to literally run for my life!

Do know that your post aren't cute or funny when on serious posts?

 

[Lost4words]

Do know that your post aren't cute or funny when on serious posts?

Sorry but sometimes we all need a bit of light humour

 

[blackribbon]

Sorry but sometimes we all need a bit of light humour

There is a time and place....in the middle of someone bottom of the heart post isn't that time. It can feel like you are making light of their problem .... It might be nice if you were serious and real sometimes too.

 

[Lost4words]

There is a time and place....in the middle of someone bottom of the heart post isn't that time. It can feel like you are making light of their problem .... It might be nice if you were serious and real sometimes too.

I dont see them complaining. God bless you

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

what are you doing with your spare time and how do you feel about yourself and your life?

 

[sunshine100]

It's possible for you to find someone and you will never know if you could've found someone unless you keep trying. You have nothing to lose and you were able to atblat l have some relationships, eventually one of these will work out more than likely. You are plenty young so have plenty of time to find exactly what you are looking for.

I agree,and about the disability I understand that I have a disability myself,but I keep on puting myself out there,and I never give up hope,I also live in a city where you have to go,to another city to go some where,and there is not a lot of people my age in my neighborhood,but my church is close,so that's a good thing.