Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (4)

[beckybooiloveu]

no... i didnt manange to eat anthing... but i did have more water... and i had a gadorade after i went to the gym

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Prayers and hugs for you Becky, you know how I feel about wanting you to eat...but I cant force you....

 

[beckybooiloveu]

i ate today... mainly because me body is handling the alcohol i had last night very well... im sooo unbeliefvably shaking... so i had something to eat and i havent purged yet...
my friend had a chat to me last ngiht... apparently i am being stupid, an idiot, inconsiderate, selfish and attention seeking... so i have to make sure i dont leave a room full of ppl to go to the toilet because that is attention seeking...
and i have to go to the doctor... im meant to tell her eveything... but i think i will just say i have beeen having trouble losing weight so have been restricting abit... wat should i do to lose weight? kind of thing... etc etc...

actually i had better go and make that appt... and get studying for the exam i have tomorow...

*HUGS and prayers for everyone*

 

[MyaShane]

Bec, I'm glad you're going to the doctor finally! Let us know how it goes!

How is everyone else?

 

[beckybooiloveu]

im not so sure about it now... i have an appt for next friday... but really dont want to go...

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Becky, your not attention seeking, idiot, stupid and whatnot!!! Your friends saying those things because she doesnt understand apparently...people judge this disorder harshly because there isnt enough information out there about it....dont to it to heart! You have a problem, you need help...we all do for this disorder..its nothing something you wanted....*hugs* Also Im so glad you ate!!!! Please please go to the doctor! Dont back out..

 

[beckybooiloveu]

i really dont want to go to the doctor anymore... i dont think i can do it... and i have been trying to eat over the last few days especially in front of my friend... and now i feel sooo fat and gross... i feel like crap...

 

[MyaShane]

Bec, this ED is about YOU and you absolutely have to put yourself first in this because it's a life or death situation. I'm really sorry your friend is treating you like this, but that's done out of ignorance of this disease. It's a pretty typical reaction because unless you've been through it, you just cannot fully understand it. I heard the attention seeking garbage, too and it's really the furthest thing from the truth. Please put that behind you and look out for yourself in this, you cannot get better by trying to please your friend or anyone else!

 

[MyaShane]

What's up Sabrina!!

How was last week in treatment?

 

[beckybooiloveu]

well today is meant to be ther day I got to the doctors... It is five thirty am and i havent been to bed yet because I have been helping my friend with an assignment she has due today. i just got back to my room now, I have been helping her since about nine pm last night. I have uni today... and i cant decide if i should go to bed or not. because if i do, im worried i wont wake up again in two hours wen i have to get up for uni... but if i dont sleep i wont be able to do anything tomorrow... so i dont know... i dont think i will go to my appt though...

 

[katey]

aaarrgghhaarrgghh, its all a big messs. i knew i wouldnt cope with it i knew things would just not go right they never do!!!!! sorry bit of a stressy moany moment there. things arent exactly going to plan right now. #nd week at uni, its hard. ok uni itself is going ok slightly boring with soo much information but yeah made few new friends can cope with the work stuff. its just everything else getting in the way and bringing me down my face is hurting from me mask being on there constantly!!!!!!!!!! si many people keep telling me i cnt do it, making out am not going to cope with it n stuff its not the right time etc.!!!! its doing my head in, i saw occupational health yesterday theyr very anxious about it, but seen as i have started the course he cant exactly stop me he just has to make sure i'm going to be supported he was glad i was honest. hes going to be writing to my community team (eeek ) to find out hw things are going, updates n stuff. my CPn rang me today (returning a phone call) she was letting me know that shes now going to be staying for a more of a long term thing wich is really good coz shes really nice, but i broke down on the phone to her i was just stressed n she caught me at the wrong time. she now wantsme to go and see her tomorrow after uni!!!!!!!! and i'm dreading it all. everyones having a go at me about my eating (or major lack of at the min) the amount of excercise i'm doing and the fact i'm not sleeping!!! how am i ment to help the fact i cant sleep. i've tried absolutly evrything. sorry bit of a rant there, am just sick of people having a go and being positive, i'm trying to do summit with myself after being told to be positive, and to go for it i cant win because now i'm doing that everyones saying the opposite thing, that doesnt help wen my heads messed up as it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway sorry that rant turned into an essay i think.

hope everyones doing ok Bec hun hope you did make it to the docs you really need to see them hun even just for a chat.

everyone

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*HUGE HUGE HUGS* katey
Im sorry everything is sooo hard atm. BUt you will get through it. Stay positive, I believe you can do it. Try to eat i little bit each day... because uni is not easy when your brain doesnt have the nutrients it needs to function...

Im praying for you hun
*HUGS*

 

[Celtic Camel]

hey guys...
just wanted to say hi, let you know I am praying for you all...
hmmm... something Bec said kinda annoys me cause it's so true... just that uni isn't easy when your brain doesn't have the nutrients it needs to function... sadly that's not just true for uni, but life in general, and all areas of life...
sometimes I hate truth, but thanks for the reminder bec!

hugs to all...

 

[beckybooiloveu]

sorry i said someting that annoyed you.. :$

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

*hugs Katey* Im so sorry what your going through...and I know your sick of people saying stay positive...but thats the only thing that will help if you truly try and do it...stay positive...negative thoughts lead to negative actions like SI...in uni when stress comes find someone to talk to, get yourself moving to not thinnk about such bad things.....

 

[Celtic Camel]

sorry i said someting that annoyed you.. :$

bec, you annoyed me in a good, God-speaking way!!! no need to be sorry... I didn't mean to upset you...
((hug))

 

[beckybooiloveu]

:S i think i killed the thread... sorry guys...

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

noooooooooooo you didnt bec *hugs*

 

[katey]

hope everyones doing ok


sorry eevryone just ignore my random ranting just need to let it out sumwhere before i flip!



i cant eat i dont wanna eat, it just makes me feel worse. i dont care wot n e one says anymore. i'm fien i'm ok theres not a rpoblem and thats wot i'm sicking to. am sick of people sticking their noses in telling me i'm wrong, i shouldnt b doing this or that. i should b doing it their way!!! i know what i'm doing, its only a problem to them! they cant and arent going to take and stop me i cant do it n e other way!!!!

my heads just messed up i just want everything to go away. i want people to stop having a go at me! i cnt look at food without being sick i cant be around others when theyr eating i cant see it on telly, thinking about it makes me panic!!!! whats going on i cant stan it any more. i dont wan there to be a problem everyones telling me there is, and ok sumtimes i might agree and others (mainly) i dont. its mine and no# can take it away from me.
am just a mess please just ignore me!!



sorry think i just rekilled it!

 

[texannurse]

you did NOT kill it Katey - or anyone else!!

Sending lots of prayers your way Katey

How is everyone doing? It's been a long time since I've been here.

Hope everyone has a great day.