Super Meanie Genie!

[Chesterton]

Granted. You're on your way to Tuscany, Mississippi.

I want to know how to speak Esperanto.

 

[Dirk1540]

Granted, the good old Tower of Babel switcheroo is one of my favorite parlor tricks, the funniest part is when the person realizes they don’t understand English anymore.


I want to wake up tomorrow back in time, as my younger self when I was 20 years younger, yet retaining my current memory.

 

[mama2one]

granted
but you're stuck on Mars until the Russians bring you back
they keep you & experiment on your ageless body







wish to grow 2 inches taller

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted. You are now at least 2 inches taller. 20 inches, in fact! That'll be hard to get used to.

I wish for a new tube of toothpaste.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. But now you're the spokesperson for this new brand of toothpaste you've received. Congratulations, Clean Mo-teefa!

I want to get out of here.

 

[public hermit]

Granted. Now you're in an alternate universe just like what you left.

I wish for peace, love, and never ending cherry pie.

 

[Sam91]

Granted. Now that cherry pie is the only food avaliable on Earth everybody is annoyed with you.

I would like a flying carpet please

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted. You get a flying carpet. Flying because it's loaded with moths.

I wish for summer to go from March though October.

 

[Sam91]

Granted but it is just too hot and you are plagued with big insects.... especially giant moths

I'd like a vanilla ice cream please

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. However your vanilla ice cream was made from breast milk. Enjoy!

I want to have a good day.

 

[Sam91]

Granted but it is extremely long and you're too tired but those around you would be upset if you want to sleep, so you are desperately waiting for it to end.

I want my cough to go away

 

[mama2one]

granted but first say good-bye & send it on it's way
now you're gonna miss it as you were friends so long




wish to lose weight at a faster pace

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted, you lose weight so fast that no one recognizes you any more and everyone thinks you've gone missing.

I wish for a spaghetti dinner.

 

[joyshirley]

Granted, but I forget how to stop the spaghetti from appearing and now it's all over your bench and in the sink and rushing down to carpet the floor... *js does a disappearing act amid angry shrieking*

I wish for a new pair of shoes for summer.

 

[public hermit]

Granted. You get two left shoes.

I want to get off work early.

 

[Sam91]

Granted, but you get fired for skiving.

Tidy my house please.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. But now you're no longer allowed to enter it. It's my house now!

Someone write Elton John another chart topping hit.

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted. He now has a new chart topping hit, but it tops the charts in the free-form jazz category, and only about 10 people like that kind of music.

I wish for a day at the zoo.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. However the only exhibit is an arena full of dogs. Hope you like shih tzu.

I wanna win the lottery.

 

[Chesterton]

Congratulations! You won the Zimbabwe National Lottery. Grand prize 100 trillion dollars, about 40 cents USD.

Oh wait, the exchange rate just changed. It's now worth nothing.

Wait, it changed again, now into negative numbers. You actually owe Zimbabwe money.

I don't want to have to pay taxes.