Super Meanie Genie!

[public hermit]

Granted, but now you can't drive to work because the potholes and broken bridges have not been repaired.

I want my own holiday called "Chadrho Day."

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. Chadrho Day is the day we all celebrate having ample counter space. Most boring holiday ever.

I want to be dictator of the world.

 

[public hermit]

Granted. You become dictator the 1st day after the end of the world.

I want to visit Italy.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. But you get arrested on suspicion of spying and spend the next 20 years in an Italian prison.

Unreleased CCR songs are found.

 

[lucypevensie]

Unfortunately, CCR stands for Closed-Captioned Rhythm. Makes no sense and no one really gets it.

I wish someone else would give the dog her medicine tonight. I've already gone to bed and am too relaxed.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

^Granted. But Tuffy now needs pet therapy.

Keep that marijuana away from me.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted, but your Pepsi had a lot of LSD in it.

I want to go to Six Flags.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. But it's gay day there and proves to be one of the weirdest and most uncomfortable days of your life.

I want to hug that tree.

 

[mama2one]

granted but since your arms grew to hug huge trunk
you're the newest phenomenon, lol


want the winds to keep neighbors leaves in THEIR yard

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted. A 4-foot thick, 20-foot tall concrete wall with razor wire now surrounds your yard.

I wish someone would deliver a spaghetti and meatballs dinner to my front door.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

granted. now on halloween, instead of candy, you must give out italian food and call it "fetuccini A-fraid-o

I want to have vivid dreams again.

 

[public hermit]

Granted, but now you wish you could forget them.

I want everyone to wear blue tomorrow.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Granted, but all material is now super scratchy tweed.

I wish I had an EU passport

 

[Chesterton]

Granted, but Europe is now Europistan.

I want a Roomba.

 

[public hermit]

Granted, Now it's broke and you have to do what normal people do, sweep.

I would like world peace and honest, helpful politicians.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. There's coming the anti-Christ who'll do just that. But then I guess you know what happens after that.

Let my date with this gal turn out fine and dandy Sunday afternoon.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. The date will be wonderful! But your alleged "gal" suffers from gender dysphoria.

I want to be smarter.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Granted, you are now a human with exact dimensions of a Smart car.

I want to take a nice long nap

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. You won't wake up till the year 3978. Hope you like bananas.

I want to never have to cook again.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. You find an Italian wife that does all culinary duties of the house. However, she soon pasta ways soon after marriage and you're left in the same situation you were in before.

Robert Plant gets saved and gets to spend eternity with us.