Super Meanie Genie!

[public hermit]

Granted, but so does Jimmy Page and God ain't to happy about that.

I want Gumbo to become everyone's favorite dish.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted, but now everyone speaks Cajun.

I want to learn to play the harp.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. But now you've got to play to sooth the spirit of a mad king that wants you dead. (Hello King David)

I want out of here.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Granted, your consciousness, your 'I', has completely dissipated. Welcome to the wonderful world of the automata.

I wish I could understand my fellow man.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

too bad. now you've got to spend an exaggerated amount of time with him over the phone while he rambles on about stuff over and over again. don't forget the 3 or 4 voicemails he sends you each day that lasts for over 5 minutes each too. lol

tell that guy it's his temper that's costing him dearly in life. kthnx

 

[public hermit]

Unfortunately, having ears they just won't hear.

Can you adjust the temperature in here?

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Granted. Now the ones on the verge of lukewarmness are getting vomited out by Jesus.

Create me a theme song.

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted, but unfortunately your new theme song is Captain and Tennille's Muskrat Love.

I wish I could fit into the jeans I wore 20 years ago.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted, but I made them bell bottoms.

I wish I could have seen Jimi Hendrix play live.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Granted, you will now perpetually relive the same 10 seconds of one of his performances in a groundhog's day fashion.

I wish for a perpetually filling coffee cup, like the widow's amphora.

 

[lucypevensie]

Granted, but it's going to be perpetually lukewarm.

I wish I could drink coffee without feeling sick later.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. You will feel sick sooner rather than later.

I wish people would stop asking me to grant wishes.

 

[public hermit]

Granted, now they will just demand it because they feel entitled.

I wish procrastination was a virtue.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Granted, it is now the 8th virtue - but subsequently because it is itself now a virtue to do so, no one updates the lists of virtues or moral codes, and nothing really changes.

I wish that movies followed the original source material more closely.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. Movies now follow the source material so perfectly that they just consist of the text projected onto a screen.

I wish I had a gold tooth.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

Granted. You are now either a minor Bond villain beaten in the first half hour, or a down-on-his-luck rapper who can't afford a full grill.

I wish I never get lost when travelling somewhere.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. You now have severe dementia. Technically, you can never get lost when you never know where you're going.

I wish I were an Olympic gymnast.

 

[public hermit]

Granted. Now you're the lead gymnast for team El Salvador. Of course, you had to move there to live in extreme poverty and face daily violence. But, you have developed a pretty good floor exercise from your vast experience fleeing MS-13 and the Barrio 18 street gangs. Good job!

I want a Les Paul guitar.

 

[Chesterton]

Granted. You have a Les Paul guitar, but it's not that Les Paul, it's some other Les Paul, and the police want to talk to you about why you have his guitar.

I want people to like me for who I am.

 

[mama2one]

granted but that was so easy you have another wish



wishing peace & love upon the earth this month