Struggled to go to church due to being unhappy.

[ChrisT_uk]

I have gone to church before, a long time ago and it seemed everyone was happy smiling and really friendly and I was the odd one out.

I want to go again but I feel like if i went i would put a downer on the mood and i do not want to do that or be that guy and feel its not fair on others.
Because it can be a bit awkward.

I'm a honest person and I believe its good to be yourself and not mask yourself or pretend to be someone or hide your feeling and your real self.

So when people ask me what brings me here or want to know a little about me, I want to share the real truth but at the same time i do not want to put the mood down.

I have had a really difficult life and it still is and I am far from happy.
Should I not say what I really feel or be honest and keep somethings to myself if I can?
Although it will show from the way i interact and expressions and the social awkwardness i display sometimes.
Or should I just avoid Church until i am happy and at a stage that i can appreciate my life?

 

[nonaeroterraqueous]

Church is supposed to be about finding and giving support. It's easy to feel out of place anywhere when you're depressed. I know from experience. Emotions taint how we interpret things. You have a right to be sad in church.

 

[crossnote]

We have all the reason in the world (and the next) to rejoice and be joyful. Granted some others do not 'get' this and subsequently put on a 'happy face' even to mask their sorrow.
Paul had a hard life and yet sang while shackled in prison (Acts 16)...
2 Corinthians 11:23-28 (KJV) Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.

 

[Tigger45]

Proverbs 18:24
A man with friends is to show himself friendly, And there is a lover adhering more than a brother!

Ecclesiastes 3:4
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.

There is a proper time for small talk and meet and greets and then there are times for more serious conversations. When first meeting people its not disingenuous to keep it light and friendly.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

When you can go to church there are nice girls there.

 

[Lost4words]

Offer up your thoughts and concerns to God.

When you go to church, you are there because of God. Dont concern yourself too much whether or not you will fit in or have to discuss your private life to others. Pray, and dont worry.

God bless you

 

[TzephanYahu]

Shalom @ChrisT_uk

I can totally empathise with you, having been there myself.

I found it hard to attend church in the past and was judging myself because of it. I know now that I was wrong to do so and in fact, everyone that you see as happy and smiling is no indication of God living within them.

I found a stronger relationship with Yahweh (God) OUTSIDE of church. Inside I rarely heard the Word taught in great depth and there was even sometimes a faux sincerity in the fellowship. Despite being taught that I MUST be in church in order to be save and grow, I witnessed the opposite as fact.

Now, don't get me wrong. Some churches are good, not all of them are bad or lukewarm. However, my point is that your relationship with God is not hindered by your absence from church - not at all.

Therefore, rather than trying to put on a display that you are happy or a mood lifter or basically trying to emulate others, be yourself. Your gifting, insight and calling is going to be entwined with who you are and not who you ought to copy at church.

Consider the prophet Jeremiah. He wasn't accepted by the "church" of that day who just wanted "happy-clappy" people. Yet Jeremiah stayed true to his emotions. Likewise, stay true to your emotions as you live your life and work through them and with them. Your path and heart doesn't need to be like "the ideal Christian", but it does need to be honest and true. That's what our Father expects.

So, if you don't feel comfortable going to church because of it - then don't, but DO stay in the Word. If you're not popular in the church you attend - so what. At least you can say that you are acting true to what is in your heart. Don't seek to please the people but God alone. But do seek to love the people, expecting nothing back. Receive and speak to people how you would want them to receive and speak to you. And don't judge yourself, overthink matters or assume what other people "must" think you!

Love & Shalom

 

[Annner]

I have gone to church before, a long time ago and it seemed everyone was happy smiling and really friendly and I was the odd one out.

I want to go again but I feel like if i went i would put a downer on the mood and i do not want to do that or be that guy and feel its not fair on others.
Because it can be a bit awkward.

I'm a honest person and I believe its good to be yourself and not mask yourself or pretend to be someone or hide your feeling and your real self.

So when people ask me what brings me here or want to know a little about me, I want to share the real truth but at the same time i do not want to put the mood down.

I have had a really difficult life and it still is and I am far from happy.
Should I not say what I really feel or be honest and keep somethings to myself if I can?
Although it will show from the way i interact and expressions and the social awkwardness i display sometimes.
Or should I just avoid Church until i am happy and at a stage that i can appreciate my life?

ChrisTUK,

Dont feel bad. You know people are on their best behavior when coming to church, and if youre going through a rough time and not skipping and happy, it sure can make you feel awkward. You went to worship the Lord and hear his word.

i had a similar experience one Sunday morning. Everyone was singing and enthusiast and seemed so joyous, but i was feeling so blah and just sort of down, and it was sooo hard for me to get revved up and excited, so i said Lord, i dont feel like jumpin up and down, i really dont, i am sorry Lord. And while it looked like i wasnt with the program and worshipping the Lord when everyone else was......i said in my heart to Him....i will sit here quietly and in my heart worship you.

When worship ended, someone said aloud the scripture.....
“For man looks on the outward, but God sees the heart.“

I was so encouraged as I realized the Lord was saying to me, dont worry what it looks like people are doing. They can be jumpin around, but not worshipping me in their heart. As if to say, I saw and heard your worship to me. I was soo blessed by that and thankful he did hear me.