Single and lonely.

[timewerx]

Are there groups where you’re located? If not, Old Order Mennonites may be present. They’re more plentiful primarily due to their missionary work.



I’ve never owned a car. It wasn’t necessary. I walk everywhere. Beyond the monthly trip for bulk purchases I’m never in them. And yes it seems you’re going plain!



It’s too ornate and requires a corset. They’re not meant to stand out or draw attention to their silhouette. The lone option that comes to mind is the prairie look or pioneer. Something along these lines.

~bella

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I think there's few groups but it's more of an indulgence for me to embark on it. I have people under my care who goes wherever I go and would very likely not want such lifestyle!

Those dresses look nicer without the head covering.

 

[bèlla]

I think there's few groups but it's more of an indulgence for me to embark on it. I have people under my care who goes wherever I go and would very likely not want such lifestyle!

Those dresses look nicer without the head covering.

You’re living a PBS/BBC special for real! The reenactments are informative and you may enjoy them. PBS did several and you can find Colonial House online. BBCs Farm Series covers several periods and I’ve seen the videos on YouTube.

I watched them all and others too. They used the tools, wore the clothes, ate the food, and mimicked the work and activities from that period. If nostalgia has you in its grip laundry day will bring you to your senses and if it doesn’t harvesting hay will do the trick.

Suffice to say, they won’t like it! And you can’t turn your wife into an Amish fashionista.

Here’s a couple of living history channels you might enjoy. Just in case you go rural in the future.

Townsends
Early American
English Heritage (Mrs. Crocombe)

~bella

 

[Juan777]

One night a thought came to my head, why are you asking God to help you? You ask His help all of this years and nothing happend. That night changed my life. I stopped praying. I stopped hope. I stopped waiting for a miracle. God doesn't care for me. He wants to see me in pain, loneliness and shame. I don't believe in Him anymore. I don't want to. I don't find a reason to do it. I stop calling my friends and share my thoughts. Many of them didnt care if I have days to call. They have families. They hung out with other families. I am nothing to their eyes. I am single. I don't understand them because I am single.
This is my life and I can't change it. No one cares, no one will ever love me. I am getting used to this new reality in my life and I am crying less now. Hugging my new revelation gives me more comford. But inside me I became dead cold. I don't feel anything. I see myself becoming cruel and bitter. You gonna ask me why I write all these? Because I haven't heard my voice for a long time. I have no one to listen to me. Maybe someone here will do and understand how really feel. Sorry for any mistakes in english language.

It looks like there is no discrimination on the genders for this type of thing. Prior to reading this post, I didn't know any woman would feel like this. God bless you. I don't feel that bad anymore after reading this.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

What I like most about small town are the people and the place. Love the great outdoors, the mountains, forests, thus, small town suits me better.

From testimonials from other Christian friends, one in particular that I dated, when she moved here...she said the small town mentality in general was also in the church she was in. She didn't like the fact they got up her family's business and such. Some find small town churches too intrusive and too involved with members outside of church. Gossipy

 

[timewerx]

Some find small town churches too intrusive and too involved with members outside of church.

At this point in life, I now find it more of a good thing than bad.

Especially for a single person like me, they can be like family. Better than being completely alone.

 

[DragonFox91]

Sometimes I think dating/marriage would be too overwhelming. Today is not one of those days. I am sad.

 

[DragonFox91]

For me it's not a lonely feeling. I rarely get lonely. It's an emptiness feeling.

 

[DragonFox91]

& then people say stuff that isn’t true like ‘oh you’ve probably had one interested in you, you just didn’t know it.’ No I haven’t. I’ve only had a couple small, short-term friendships w/ a couple girls in 31 years. That is it!

 

[DragonFox91]

So many guys want to be married but not as many girls. There's not as many girls to go around. Some guys will be left out.

 

[DragonFox91]

It has not been a good past couple of days. I am sad. I wish girls weren't so hard I feel like a loser. I lose w/ girls so what else would I be?

 

[peaceful-forest]

It has not been a good past couple of days. I am sad. I wish girls weren't so hard I feel like a loser. I lose w/ girls so what else would I be?

Is there a particular girl you're after and they've rejected you?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Is there a particular girl you're after and they've rejected you?

For me there are three girls from Church (two that talked to me and one I am terrified to even approach her) but I am terrified to even ask for a coffee date as they most likely will say no because there is a great chance they have a boyfriend.

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel terrible. I don't go to church consistent enough. How will God think I'm ready to date if I can't even attend church more than once a month?

Is there a particular girl you're after and they've rejected you?

No, I don't really know any singles. Girls I know are married or have boyfriends

For me there are three girls from Church (two that talked to me and one I am terrified to even approach her) but I am terrified to even ask for a coffee date as they most likely will say no because there is a great chance they have a boyfriend.

They always do. It's so depressing.

 

[pen_and_poetry]

Hang in there, DragonFox. I'm a woman, and I want to get married but I know what you mean. I think our culture tells men AND women though that you need to focus on yourself, that you don't want to settle down even into your 30s (yeah, I saw that the other day) because you're always growing and changing as a person. Well, I think the only critical years are up to 25 where obviously the brain changes and matures. I could see an argument for not marrying before 25 but everything after that is BS advice designed to keep people unhappy.

Keep being true about what you want. Keep improving yourself while you're single. Make yourself the best possible version even if you feel like crap today. Learn flirting and other techniques. Get out there in to social hobbies. Get into shape, dress nicely, you know what I mean. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

When I was single in my 20s (before I was briefly married and then divorced), I know the feeling of watching my friends being in relationships and I was unhappy. I'm not a man, but I realised after I got married that I was looking for a relationship to fill holes in my life and I should have enjoyed being single. I should have made sure my relationship with God was better. I'm single again and it's still a struggle but I have a better perspective now.

Praying for you.

 

[peaceful-forest]

I feel terrible. I don't go to church consistent enough. How will God think I'm ready to date if I can't even attend church more than once a month?

I understand your view point. When I had thought about doing online dating a while back, I was worried that guys wouldn't date me because I had quit attending church. When I stopped going to church, I had been good about watching Charles Stanley every Sunday as a replacement, but something happened and I stopped. But I've been making an effort to watch, listen, or read something on his app every Sunday now.

If you haven't done so already pray to God about giving you a spouse. God does a much better job picking out someone for us than we do on our own. I'm single right now but I know God has a spouse for me in the future (He told me, that's how I know). Hopefully He'll give you someone.

 

[pen_and_poetry]

Oh, some more advice (haha): talk to every woman in a friendly and politely flirty way to get some practice. Figure out how to make girls laugh.

and make friends with women! By that, I mean be friendly. Don't make her your girlfriend-from-a-far. Don't pine after a woman who doesn't want you. But let them figure out who you are, and use that time to figure out who they are. Don't worry about being friendzoned. However, it's hard to build attraction immediately beyond just cute/not cute. (which is why I hate OLD). Give it a little bit of time. Even if a woman your age has a boyfriend, stay friends with her and let her know you're looking and see if she knows any other women.

Anyways, sorry if you know all this all ready. Just trying to help you out I probably need this for myself too because my crush turned me down yesterday so I'm licking my wounds lol

 

[DragonFox91]

I am sad. It feels so hopeless. I don't know what to do. Nothing I try works. I want to date & get married so much.

 

[DragonFox91]

I wish my threads hadn't gotten locked.
It is not a good day today. Today's very bad. I've been doing so good but today is not good. I will never be able to date & get married. Nothing I do changes or fixes it. I try so hard & nothing works. I always lose. Other really late-bloomers I know have started to get dates & I still get nothing. I've never even had a girl interested. Only a couple short-term friendships. That is it. I don't know what to do to change or fix it.
I've always wanted to date & get married. I've been waiting so long. I find things to occupy me but it just seems like it's a cheap band-aid. You're just pretending it's not really a problem. I should try & watch a movie right now but what's the point? It's just pretending there's not a problem.
No one ever tries to hook me up, no one ever has a daughter, or sister, or niece, or granddaughter, or anyone. Girls I meet are in relationships or married. When you find a single, she wouldn't be compatible w/ me. How on earth am I supposed to find one who's single & compatible. It's impossible. There's never any coworkers. There's never any in church groups. There's never any friends of friends. There's never any neighbors.
I don't want to grow out of it. I don't want to get into my 40s & 50s & say ' I'm still single & don't want to get married'. I want to date & get married! I will die on this hill!
Dating sites are completely useless. Usually they don't write anything so you're basically talking to a brick wall & taking a shot in the dark, so no wonder I only get 1 in 1,000,000 responses. But the responses I get are 1 word answers & then it's done. If dating sites is how people get relationships now, it's done for me; it is all over.
I thought things would change. I thought as I got older, more doors would open, but they're all closed. It's like I'm stuck in middle school & I still can't find a girl.

Oh, some more advice (haha): talk to every woman in a friendly and politely flirty way to get some practice. Figure out how to make girls laugh.

and make friends with women! By that, I mean be friendly. Don't make her your girlfriend-from-a-far. Don't pine after a woman who doesn't want you. But let them figure out who you are, and use that time to figure out who they are. Don't worry about being friendzoned. However, it's hard to build attraction immediately beyond just cute/not cute. (which is why I hate OLD). Give it a little bit of time. Even if a woman your age has a boyfriend, stay friends with her and let her know you're looking and see if she knows any other women.

Anyways, sorry if you know all this all ready. Just trying to help you out I probably need this for myself too because my crush turned me down yesterday so I'm licking my wounds lol

It's not that easy.

 

[pen_and_poetry]

Hey hey hey. Have you thought of talking to a counsellor or a therapist about your fears? As someone on the outside and also having been in your shoes, it's not hopeless. You sound like you have depression and I totally get it--talking to someone who knows how to help you is really important, even if it's just situational depression like just about being single.

But if you give in to feeling so hopeless, you will find it works against your efforts. I promise you that if you work on yourself and just be present and engaged with an open mind and doing what you love and enjoy, you will be a happier person in every other regard and that's what happens when you "find someone when you least expect it."

I agree that dating sites are useless. Do you have hobbies that get you out and meeting people? Did you try changing churches or just visiting other young adult groups in nearby churches? What kind of woman are you looking to spend your life with? Women tend to be more engaged with certain activities like charity, volunteering, dancing, teaching, in church, etc. Some things like social dancing, men are as rare as gold. And I'll stop you and tell you that in churches, young women vastly outnumber young men. Think about the woman you want to meet, think about the person you want to be, and do the things you want to be doing when you meet her.

You might think this all sounds trite but you are still valuable as a single person. You have to believe that yourself. You are loved. God loves you. Please take care of yourself and regroup and relax and pray. <3

 

[bèlla]

For me it's not a lonely feeling. I rarely get lonely. It's an emptiness feeling.

This reminds me of a series I’m watching. He dissects the messages in the films and their impact on men. I’ve seen two thus far and I’ll post all three. He touches on many issues frequently mentioned here.