This guy wants to meet up and I want to meet up with him more than anything...
But I'm afraid he'll find out how much of a loser I am..
He's younger than me. And has a degree, drives ...I just don't want to put him off.
I don't want him to stop talking to me,..
But I also feel like I won't measure up.
Yeah, I think I'm going to pass. My self esteem is messed up and he deserves someone better than me ,that can at least meet him half way.
Far Side, try thinking of this "meeting" with this guy as a friendship and not as a possible romance, take the pressure off of yourself. Build as many friendships as God puts before you and He will lead you to the one man who will be your best friend and mate....but friendship should come first.I know. I do need an I Am list and I need to read it off every morning and night. My friend and I were talking about how to gain confidence and we both didn't have much of a clue where it comes from .... He's feeling the same way I do, its like our roles are reversed.... He's the guy with the amazing girlfriend..and like me still at home working on his degree(but he's much better than me and more capable) and has an amazing girlfriend...
But anyway, back to our conversation about confidence, I said I think confidence is a combination of a positive mindset and achievements. I don't know how anyone can have confidence without both of these..
Yeah you are right. I just keep seeing him as a potential bf. But thinking, were hanging out as friends is very relieving.Far Side, try thinking of this "meeting" with this guy as a friendship and not as a possible romance, take the pressure off of yourself. Build as many friendships as God puts before you and He will lead you to the one man who will be your best friend and mate....but friendship should come first.
Yeah my own friend life's too short to over think it.I think you are over thinking it. It's great to meet new people, and when you have the opportunity, and he's not a freak, then I encourage you to take it!
Some people try to protect their own low self esteem by listing all of their faults up front. Then, when it scares the other person away, they feel that it was inevitable because of what ever problems they have. But that is a sure recipe to drive people away.
Instead, be interested in others, and don't focus on yourself. Be fun and engaging and see if you enjoy their company. The other person has the right to decide if they are interested in a friendship or not, as are you. If they are not, it can be for a number of reasons that you might not have even considered: your value systems might not be in sync, you have differing interests, your personalities are not compatible, etc, etc. It might have nothing to do with your own perception of your own inadequacies.
On the other hand, you might be very compatible, but if you are laying out all of your own insecurities up front, then you might never find out if you have a chance at friendship. That would be really sad.
Honestly, the most important thing in any beginning relationship is to take interest in the other person. No one wants to be around a self centered person, even when that person is self centered in a self-deprecating way. If you are interested in his thoughts, values and interests, he will more likely be interested in yours. But if you start off the conversation with a list of disclaimers, it's not very likely that you'll get much past the first conversation.
Enjoy your conversations. If it leads to a friendship, great! If not, that's good too because it wasn't meant to be. Relax and have a good time.
I never stretches the truth...its just you don't put everything out there when you just start talking to someone. Like someone I'm talking to for the first time, I'm not gonna tell them I have anxiety off the bat, you know?
Then, when it scares the other person away, they feel that it was inevitable because of what ever problems they have. But that is a sure recipe to drive people away.
Don't count on a second chance with him if you turn him down. Don't turn him down because you don't think you're good enough. Turn someone down if they're creepy, or if they have obvious deal-breakers. If someone "too good" for you wants to give you a chance, take that chance.Yeah, I think I'm going to pass. My self esteem is messed up and he deserves someone better than me ,that can at least meet him half way.
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