Should I Tell Her?

[BrandenHarvey]

Before I was a Christian, I was a severe sex addict. Since I've become a Christian, I've mostly got it under control. I slept with a few girls early on in my Christianity but stopped. My biggest struggle for awhile was masturbation but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I stopped that too.

Back in January, I got a girlfriend. This is my first Christian relationship. We are not having sex or even living together because we're not married, which I'm fine with.

My job often has me travel. I usually spend two or three nights a week at a hotel. Usually I pass the time reading the Bible or watching a sermon. This week, I'm spending last night and tonight in a hotel. Sometimes I walk in front of the hotel for a few minutes to get some fresh air.

Last night, I was approached by a girl. It wasn't the first time this has happened. I usually talk to them and, when they make their offer of a one-night stand, I make my offer of Jesus.

This time, however, when she made her offer, I started to feel exactly how I used to feel all the time and, instead of fighting it and praying, I gave in.

I felt guilty right away. I've felt guilty all morning at work and I'm right now sitting down during my lunch break contemplating what I should do.

Should I tell my girlfriend? If I do, it'll be over and I've been falling in love with her. I feel like God gave her to me then I go and mess it up by doing something stupid.

What do you guys think? Should I tell her?

 

[Michie]

Before I was a Christian, I was a severe sex addict. Since I've become a Christian, I've mostly got it under control. I slept with a few girls early on in my Christianity but stopped. My biggest struggle for awhile was masturbation but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I stopped that too.

Back in January, I got a girlfriend. This is my first Christian relationship. We are not having sex or even living together because we're not married, which I'm fine with.

My job often has me travel. I usually spend two or three nights a week at a hotel. Usually I pass the time reading the Bible or watching a sermon. This week, I'm spending last night and tonight in a hotel. Sometimes I walk in front of the hotel for a few minutes to get some fresh air.

Last night, I was approached by a girl. It wasn't the first time this has happened. I usually talk to them and, when they make their offer of a one-night stand, I make my offer of Jesus.

This time, however, when she made her offer, I started to feel exactly how I used to feel all the time and, instead of fighting it and praying, I gave in.

I felt guilty right away. I've felt guilty all morning at work and I'm right now sitting down during my lunch break contemplating what I should do.

Should I tell my girlfriend? If I do, it'll be over and I've been falling in love with her. I feel like God gave her to me then I go and mess it up by doing something stupid.

What do you guys think? Should I tell her?

Yes you should.

 

[Reborn1977]

Before I was a Christian, I was a severe sex addict. Since I've become a Christian, I've mostly got it under control. I slept with a few girls early on in my Christianity but stopped. My biggest struggle for awhile was masturbation but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I stopped that too.

Back in January, I got a girlfriend. This is my first Christian relationship. We are not having sex or even living together because we're not married, which I'm fine with.

My job often has me travel. I usually spend two or three nights a week at a hotel. Usually I pass the time reading the Bible or watching a sermon. This week, I'm spending last night and tonight in a hotel. Sometimes I walk in front of the hotel for a few minutes to get some fresh air.

Last night, I was approached by a girl. It wasn't the first time this has happened. I usually talk to them and, when they make their offer of a one-night stand, I make my offer of Jesus.

This time, however, when she made her offer, I started to feel exactly how I used to feel all the time and, instead of fighting it and praying, I gave in.

I felt guilty right away. I've felt guilty all morning at work and I'm right now sitting down during my lunch break contemplating what I should do.

Should I tell my girlfriend? If I do, it'll be over and I've been falling in love with her. I feel like God gave her to me then I go and mess it up by doing something stupid.

What do you guys think? Should I tell her?

I think you should work out these issues you are having before you try to have a relationship. However, you seem to in some form of relationship already. That said, unburdening yourself to your girlfriend will only make her help carry your guilt, and hurt her. Due to the depth of your relationship with her, which does not seem too deep as of yet, (that statement is coming from someone who has been married for 35 years, that is a deep relationship) I would share what I once heard a wise old woman say to someone else, 'Carry your own guilt alone, and straighten up your act.'

ps - Based on what you have shared you should see a doctor and makes sure you are completely disease-free before you take this relationship any further with this girl, possibly exposing her to danger if you should marry.

 

[Kris Jordan]

Yes, you need to tell her. Deception is never the way to begin or build a relationship. She deserves to know what happened. If you two were to get married and she was to find out about your cheating later on, the damage and devastation would be far worse than now.

For you personally, I would stop doing activities (like walking around the outside of hotels) that have a history or pattern of these occurrences happening. Satan knows your weaknesses and your setting yourself up for failure. Find other ways to get fresh air, like sticking your head out of your hotel window or taking a drive (by yourself) with the windows open.

 

[mtatertayte]

Before I was a Christian, I was a severe sex addict. Since I've become a Christian, I've mostly got it under control. I slept with a few girls early on in my Christianity but stopped. My biggest struggle for awhile was masturbation but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I stopped that too.

Back in January, I got a girlfriend. This is my first Christian relationship. We are not having sex or even living together because we're not married, which I'm fine with.

My job often has me travel. I usually spend two or three nights a week at a hotel. Usually I pass the time reading the Bible or watching a sermon. This week, I'm spending last night and tonight in a hotel. Sometimes I walk in front of the hotel for a few minutes to get some fresh air.

Last night, I was approached by a girl. It wasn't the first time this has happened. I usually talk to them and, when they make their offer of a one-night stand, I make my offer of Jesus.

This time, however, when she made her offer, I started to feel exactly how I used to feel all the time and, instead of fighting it and praying, I gave in.

I felt guilty right away. I've felt guilty all morning at work and I'm right now sitting down during my lunch break contemplating what I should do.

Should I tell my girlfriend? If I do, it'll be over and I've been falling in love with her. I feel like God gave her to me then I go and mess it up by doing something stupid.

What do you guys think? Should I tell her?

If God gave her to you then nothing can take her away from you...
not even your past.

 

[Leet]

Yep, tell her.

 

[Michie]

Before I was a Christian, I was a severe sex addict. Since I've become a Christian, I've mostly got it under control. I slept with a few girls early on in my Christianity but stopped. My biggest struggle for awhile was masturbation but, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I stopped that too.

Back in January, I got a girlfriend. This is my first Christian relationship. We are not having sex or even living together because we're not married, which I'm fine with.

My job often has me travel. I usually spend two or three nights a week at a hotel. Usually I pass the time reading the Bible or watching a sermon. This week, I'm spending last night and tonight in a hotel. Sometimes I walk in front of the hotel for a few minutes to get some fresh air.

Last night, I was approached by a girl. It wasn't the first time this has happened. I usually talk to them and, when they make their offer of a one-night stand, I make my offer of Jesus.

This time, however, when she made her offer, I started to feel exactly how I used to feel all the time and, instead of fighting it and praying, I gave in.

I felt guilty right away. I've felt guilty all morning at work and I'm right now sitting down during my lunch break contemplating what I should do.

Should I tell my girlfriend? If I do, it'll be over and I've been falling in love with her. I feel like God gave her to me then I go and mess it up by doing something stupid.

What do you guys think? Should I tell her?

So your profile says your married. Which is it?

 

[Dave G.]

Oh you absolutely need to tell her and the chips will fall where they may. I'll stop right there because from here it gets less and less gracious so I'll be quiet except to say she surely doesn't deserve this. You need an accountability party buddy, no matter how this goes....

 

[BrandenHarvey]

I used to be married. Back when I made this profile, it was. My ex-wife and I were unequally yoked. She consistently cheated before I decided it was time to leave.

 

[Michie]

I used to be married. Back when I made this profile, it was. My ex-wife and I were unequally yoked. She consistently cheated before I decided it was time to leave.

Sounds like you both had/have the same problem. Time to get yourself in order before getting into a relationship. I do hope you can be honest with your Christian girlfriend and get some help for yourself.

 

[BrandenHarvey]

I told her and she forgave me. I don't deserve to be forgiven. I don't deserve her.

 

[BrandenHarvey]

Now I have a new problem. She wants to have sex. She says it's because she loves me and wants to share the act if love with me. But I believe the real reason is because she's afraid of me cheating again if we don't. As much as I want to, I want to obey God more. Also, she's a virgin. She's been waiting until she's married. If we do it, she'll resent me her whole life because she gave up her convictions because of me. Any advice?

 

[Michie]

Now I have a new problem. She wants to have sex. She says it's because she loves me and wants to share the act if love with me. But I believe the real reason is because she's afraid of me cheating again if we don't. As much as I want to, I want to obey God more. Also, she's a virgin. She's been waiting until she's married. If we do it, she'll resent me her whole life because she gave up her convictions because of me. Any advice?

Isn’t it obvious??

 

[BrandenHarvey]

Not to me.

 

[Michie]

Not to me.

You need to seek help for your issues. You need to step away from this relationship for your own good but especially her’s. Sex does not cure anything as you should well know by now.

 

[Leet]

Tell her you love her (if you truly do) and that she doesn't owe you her virginity, and that she doesn't need to fear losing you. If you believe this yourself, of course. Tell her you might feel a bit hypocritical to say so but it's better to wait til you're married and God will bless your marriage. And have some really good counselling before you marry. Please don't get hitched if either of you have doubts.