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Should I come clean to my husband?

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by Patti Pudding, Sep 16, 2020.

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  1. Jonathan Walkerin

    Jonathan Walkerin Well-Known Member

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    That about sums up 80% of these forums.....
     
  2. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    Oh welcome back.
     
  3. Jonathan Walkerin

    Jonathan Walkerin Well-Known Member

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    Pleasure as always.
     
  4. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

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    You should tell him. But the twins will actually be his. Millions get pregnancy help.
    The kids are theirs and belong to nobody else.
     
  5. mama2one

    mama2one Well-Known Member

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    need to come clean, ASAP
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
  6. bèlla

    bèlla ⭐️ Supporter

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    “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”1 John 1:9

    Patti,

    It would be better to tell the truth than live in fear of discovery. You won’t have a moment’s peace until you do. You may want to consider marriage counseling and discuss the problem with a professional beforehand. Your husband will need emotional support and it may be better to address it in a safe environment where his needs won’t be ignored.

    Breaches of trust take time to heal. I’ve heard of similar situations and the couples worked through it. You have three people who need you and must consider their welfare going forward. Give your husband the time and consideration he requires to rebuild his trust.

    Spend much time in prayer. Pray for your husband, marriage and children. Use Stormie Omartian’s books and read The Respect Dare. Do the exercises and check out The Peaceful Wife blog. You can’t salvage your marriage if you don’t respect him. That’s where you went astray and where the healing begins.

    Yours in His Service,

    ~Bella
     
  7. bèlla

    bèlla ⭐️ Supporter

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    Some insurance plans include IVF treatments. Coverage is mandatory in some states. I’ve researched it in the past. :)

    Yours in His Service,

    ~Bella
     
  8. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    :face palm: I guess we believe what we want. It’s a long complicated process with or without money or insurance. Keeping this IVF process secret from the husband would be quite the feat.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
  9. Lady Bug

    Lady Bug Let's get real Supporter

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    If you hadn't done this in secret I would definitely had said your husband was being unfair, even cruel perhaps. But this situation is a bummer. I have no idea how this will end.
     
  10. Patti Pudding

    Patti Pudding super cuteness FTW!

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    I'm thinking that telling him would be a bad idea on so many levels. For one, he could divorce me soon while I'm still pregnant, so his name wouldn't be on the twins' birth certificate. This would mean that I wouldn't get child support payments in the event of a divorce. There is also the fact that his feelings would get hurt, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. Best it be kept a secret to avoid so much potential conflict and harm.
     
  11. mmksparbud

    mmksparbud Well-Known Member

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    Thee are tons of consent forms to sign. The partner has to sign them to, there are papers that are signed as to whom the parent is considered to be. This doesn't come across as being all that genuine. They have gotten very strict now due to cases of fraud, and cases that have ended up in court over not having proper consent forms signed by all parties involved. The husband has to sign unless there is a legal separation.
     
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  12. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    Thank you.
     
  13. Tropical Wilds

    Tropical Wilds Lord, beer me strength...

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    You should absolutely tell him. He deserves to know the type of person he married.
     
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  14. Contrite Spirit

    Contrite Spirit Kathy P

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    Wow. You are worried about child support after becoming pregnant with another man's baby, and you expect the man that you betrayed to finance the results for the next 18 or so years--times two.

    You obviously care nothing for his feelings. If you had considered his feelings in the beginning this would never have taken place.

    And I seriously doubt that it DID take place.

    Edited to add: Your question was whether you should come clean. The answer is yes. Then you need to fall on your face before the Lord God Almighty and beg for some kind of forgiveness and ability to face the consequences of your actions. The Lord will forgive through true repentance and trust in Jesus. You just don't sound repentant to me, though. You are wanting to add more lies to what you have already done.
     
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  15. Macchiato

    Macchiato Active Member

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    This does seem like a troll thread. Very unbelievable.
     
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  16. Redwingfan9

    Redwingfan9 Well-Known Member

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    I can't imagine a more outrageous thing in marriage outside of adultery. To go behind his back and get knocked up with another man's children, via expensive IVF is shocking. He would be wise to divorce you and get these kids declared not his. If you wanted kids, why didn't you just stop taking the pill?

    Beyond all of that, have you spent a single second thinking about what you're doing to these kids? I suspect as you coveted children you never bothered to consider what you were doing to them. Their father is unknown, your husband will likely not want them. Even if he sticks around the odds of him not resenting thr kids is slim. You put yourself first, not those kids and when they figure it out as adults they'll hate you for it. That might sound harsh but it's true.

    You must come clean to your husband. It would be beyond selfish (which you already are) not to tell him.
     
  17. Redwingfan9

    Redwingfan9 Well-Known Member

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    Remind me why he should pay for children that aren't his, conceived via IVF he knew nothing about. Your entire attitude is shockingly self absorbed.
     
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  18. Michie

    Michie Human rights begin in the womb. Supporter

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    This is just post baiting imo. If I wanted this stuff, I’d take up soap operas. ;)
     
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  19. Macchiato

    Macchiato Active Member

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    Yeah the OP hasnt replied yet either.
     
  20. Redwingfan9

    Redwingfan9 Well-Known Member

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    I'll grant there is a certain soap aspect to this. All we need now is for the babies to be switched at birth or something.
     
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