Should I come clean to my husband?

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Michie

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I'll grant there is a certain soap aspect to this. All we need now is for the babies to be switched at birth or something.
And an evil twin. Unbelievable. The stuff soap operas are made of.
 
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chilehed

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Sketcher

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I always dreamed about having kids and being a mother. To me, being a mom seems like a really rewarding thing in life. Some women don't want kids and prefer to focus on their careers instead. But not me.

I've been married for 6 years now, and during this whole time my husband didn't want to have children. He has anxiety and stress problems, and he feels like it isn't the right time to have a family. But I'm in my early 30s, and having kids at my age is difficult. And it gets even more difficult the more I age. By 40 having a child naturally would be nearly impossible.

I became very impatient with my husband. I kept telling him I wanted a family, but he continually said we should wait longer. I was so tired of being put off that I decided to do something that, although it seemed right at first, has been bothering my conscience.

I clandestinely went to a reproductive clinic and told them I wanted to have children via IVF. I selected a sperm donor who is 6'3" and has blonde hair and blue eyes. I went through the treatments without my husband's knowledge or consent, and now I'm several months pregnant with twins.

My husband believes the unborn twin babies are his. Although he didn't really want a family, he seems mildly happy about my pregnancy. I'm definitely excited about becoming a mom, but part of me is worried that, after the kids are born, my husband will eventually find out they're not his babies, since they probably won't look like him. What if he divorces me? The prospect of that happening is frightening.

Part of me wants to keep it a secret. After all, I didn't commit actual adultery on my husband. I've been faithful to him during our entire marriage. If our children don't share his DNA, is there really any harm? Your parents are always the ones who raise you irrespective of genetic lineage. Again, I've been faithful to him during our entire marriage, so did I really do anything wrong? I think not.

Well I'm really torn over what I should do. Should I come clean and tell him that the twins aren't actually his? Or should I let this little white lie be kept a secret for the good of the family and for the good of my marriage?

I'm thinking that telling him would be a bad idea on so many levels. For one, he could divorce me soon while I'm still pregnant, so his name wouldn't be on the twins' birth certificate. This would mean that I wouldn't get child support payments in the event of a divorce. There is also the fact that his feelings would get hurt, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. Best it be kept a secret to avoid so much potential conflict and harm.
You're either being dishonest with him, or dishonest with us. Either way, repent of your lying post-haste. Lying is the devil's native language.
 
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Lost4words

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You should definitely be concerned if your husband is 5ft 2, black hair and the babies are born looking like the sperm donor!

To me, you have indeed cheated on your poor husband. I am disgusted to be honest.
 
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mmksparbud

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Where is the dramatic organ music? :p

Will this do?

OIP.9ge2ImQTN3hHLdHlwUfzAwHaE7
 
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zippy2006

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I'm thinking that telling him would be a bad idea on so many levels. For one, he could divorce me soon while I'm still pregnant, so his name wouldn't be on the twins' birth certificate. This would mean that I wouldn't get child support payments in the event of a divorce. There is also the fact that his feelings would get hurt, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. Best it be kept a secret to avoid so much potential conflict and harm.

What is wrong with you? I have never witnessed selfishness and sin on such a level as this.
 
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Redwingfan9

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Where is the dramatic organ music? :p
My wife and I are watching Days of Our Lives right now. The stories are ridiculous. The nice thing is that we can both play on our phone and as long as we know the gist of the story the dialogue doesn't matter 95% of the time. In the last year 4-5 people have miraculously come back from the dead. It's hilariously ridiculous.
 
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Pavel Mosko

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Remind me why he should pay for children that aren't his, conceived via IVF he knew nothing about. Your entire attitude is shockingly self absorbed.

Well her slogan / title is something like "Cuteness FTW" (For the Win). So I'm guessing she is attractive and cute, or at least role playing that for the forum.
 
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April_Rose

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Now come on guys be nice. the OP is on here looking for advice and yeah she messed up but she was in a tough position. Right now I'm more disgusted with the lot of you for calling her a troll if she's truly here asking for help. The poor woman really wanted children and I can understand that,.. but yeah you should really tell him the truth. It's for the best in the end for the whole entire situation and I'm sorry you've had to receive such negative feedback. :(
 
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Michie

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My wife and I are watching Days of Our Lives right now. The stories are ridiculous. The nice thing is that we can both play on our phone and as long as we know the gist of the story the dialogue doesn't matter 95% of the time. In the last year 4-5 people have miraculously come back from the dead. It's hilariously ridiculous.
Lol! So you are up on this game. :thumbsup:
 
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Michie

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Now come on guys be nice. the OP is on here looking for advice and yeah she messed up but she was in a tough position. Right now I'm more disgusted with the lot of you for calling her a troll if she's truly here asking for help. The poor woman really wanted children and I can understand that,.. but yeah you should really tell him the truth. It's for the best in the end for the whole entire situation and I'm sorry you've had to receive such negative feedback. :(
Sorry April but if you knew about the protocol of IVF, you’d realize how ridiculous this scenario is. Just saying... :)
 
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