Angelfrog
Rock, paper, JESUS! I win!
It feels just wretched, doesn't it, when you want to do the right thing but it doesn't seem clear?
I hope I didn't come across as accusing you of being 'secretive' or anything like that! Firstly, you're entitled to share what and how much you choose- and secondly, none of us has a right to demand more information. I was thinking really of your previous posts- and where you gave an indication of not wanting or not being willing to 'go public' with your engagement/ commitment.
I hope I wasn't being pushy!!!!
I think it's probably wise that you're not communicating with the pastor. Hopefully in time, that will run its course and he'll cease to be part of the problem- not that that seems your main concern any more.
Am I right in thinking that the issue for you now is really about the timing of marriage (if it's right to make him wait longer) and about your church's reaction?
Could I ask a silly question- what significance would it have for your church if you did marry straight out of college? I'm not advocating that you do- nor saying that you shouldn't.... just trying to look at the situation.
What, specifically, worries you about the church's reaction? Do you feel they would disapprove of you marrying someone YOU have chosen and not them? Do you feel that they would disapprove of him specifically? Is it your age (over here, if you go to university straight from school, as the vast majority do- you'll be about 21- or 22 for a Teaching degree as they're 4 years rather than 3-when you graduate, so that's pretty young)
Is it something to do with your career?
I ask mainly because I'm trying to establish whether your worry about what they'd think comes from them having a real, practical 'hold' over your decision- or if you're just worried about their opinion of you, or that they wouldn't 'approve'. If that's the case- why does their approval/ disapproval mean so much to you that it actually plays a big part in you making life-decisions?
I hope these questions make sense- I'm not trying to criticise- but work out where your worry is coming from, if you see what I mean.
I hope I didn't come across as accusing you of being 'secretive' or anything like that! Firstly, you're entitled to share what and how much you choose- and secondly, none of us has a right to demand more information. I was thinking really of your previous posts- and where you gave an indication of not wanting or not being willing to 'go public' with your engagement/ commitment.
I hope I wasn't being pushy!!!!
I think it's probably wise that you're not communicating with the pastor. Hopefully in time, that will run its course and he'll cease to be part of the problem- not that that seems your main concern any more.
Am I right in thinking that the issue for you now is really about the timing of marriage (if it's right to make him wait longer) and about your church's reaction?
Could I ask a silly question- what significance would it have for your church if you did marry straight out of college? I'm not advocating that you do- nor saying that you shouldn't.... just trying to look at the situation.
What, specifically, worries you about the church's reaction? Do you feel they would disapprove of you marrying someone YOU have chosen and not them? Do you feel that they would disapprove of him specifically? Is it your age (over here, if you go to university straight from school, as the vast majority do- you'll be about 21- or 22 for a Teaching degree as they're 4 years rather than 3-when you graduate, so that's pretty young)
Is it something to do with your career?
I ask mainly because I'm trying to establish whether your worry about what they'd think comes from them having a real, practical 'hold' over your decision- or if you're just worried about their opinion of you, or that they wouldn't 'approve'. If that's the case- why does their approval/ disapproval mean so much to you that it actually plays a big part in you making life-decisions?
I hope these questions make sense- I'm not trying to criticise- but work out where your worry is coming from, if you see what I mean.
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