S.a.h.m.

[marezee]

Aww marezee I hope your mouth feels better soon. I have to have a tooth pulled soon, I have an absest wisdom tooth.

Anyways, I feel like going back to bed, but I keep waking up choking and sneezing, I feel like my eyes are huge and puffy

Melly Mel!! have you tried some Vics vapor rub? that usually helps me breathe while i sleep with a cold.

Think I'll rep up this thread...all you SAHM's need some rep-boost every now and then!

Hugs to all who have had surgery, who are disappointed with their refrigerators (or who have to defrost their freezers), who would like a nice piece of furniture to stay nice, and who drive entirely too much to be considered "stay at home".

May today be a blessed day for you all!!

Thanks so much CW!!

 

[faithmom]

Thanks ConstantW....hope to see you back soon!

 

[marezee]

well...be careful what you wish for ladies...you might just get it!

I went to a coffee shop with my friend/neighbor today.
There was a catch...take her to pick up her car because it was in the shop and ready. no problemo!

I had to take Stephen and Jake...DH was working and Nick was in school.

We get there...no parking! So i had to drive around the block to find a space.
Then after we get in and get our coffee and treats, we sit and chat. After about 15 min, Jake (he's 2), starts getting up and running around the place. Then he starts going behind the counter! YIKES!
So I pat his butt and put him back in his chair and tell him to sit and be quiet. well....he starts doing it again and this time goes for the door. So, I pat his butt harder and put him in my lap. He starts screaming!
I sit him back in his chair and ask him to finish up so we can go. He starts yelling again. And i am talking to him, when suddenly my friend starts talking over me to Jake, telling him what he should be doing and how he should appologize to mommy!
Hello!!!!! I'm right here!!!! Excuse me, but you just don't start chastising someone else's child right in front of them, especially when they are trying to discipline the child themselves!!!
whew!
So needless to say, that was the end of my play date with my neighbor. I politely said thanks and bye....out we went.
I will think twice about doing that again in the future.

another story about this same person.....in the next post...

 

[marezee]

We took our neighbor's 3yr old son with us and our boys to a bouncy house place.
She specifically told me that he was on a special diet and not to feed him. also, no juice. she gave me a carrot for him for a snack and his sippy cup of water.
ok...no problem...i can understand that!
So off we went. I saved the carrot for the neighbor's son for on the way home because i knew he would be hungry. (i had packed a snack for my boys as well).
anyway, during the jumping and playing hours, he had finished his water and i gave him another cup of water..because he obviously was thirsty!
on the way home, he ate his carrot. all good. they all had fun and i brought him back home.

The following day, my neighbor calls me up to ask what did i give her son to drink last night. I said I gave him his sippy cup of water that she gave me, and one more cup of water because he was thirsty. nothing else.
well, she said that when she went to wake him up to go to the bathroom at 11:30pm, he was soaking wet! and usually he is dry. So what does that have to do with me? She didn't say she was restricting his water intake for goodness sake!!
she sounded like it was MY fault the poor kid was wet!
HELLO!!!!! He was probably so tired out that he slept through peeing!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

um, she sounds scary marezee!!

 

[Melbelle]

Wow, marezee, your neighbor sounds like a piece of work sorry ya had to indulge that with her lol.

Gotta love the people who try to tell ya how to raise ur childern eh?

 

[CoolMom6]

Yeah, there are women like that at the gym I used to go to, and I just stay far away from them.

Sounds like a control freak type.

Poor kid is going to be malnourished, too.
A carrot.
Blah.
Give him some food for Pete's sake!!!

 

[marezee]

um, she sounds scary marezee!!

I thought so too at first. I guess I will have to set boundaries with her now.

Wow, marezee, your neighbor sounds like a piece of work sorry ya had to indulge that with her lol.

Gotta love the people who try to tell ya how to raise ur childern eh?

yup...gotta love 'em! LOL!

Yeah, there are women like that at the gym I used to go to, and I just stay far away from them.

Sounds like a control freak type.

Poor kid is going to be malnourished, too.
A carrot.
Blah.
Give him some food for Pete's sake!!!

LOL! I think so too, but I don't want to step on his mom's toes!! His diet is her business, just like disciplining my child is my business!
hey...maybe I will set my boundary with those words!!
thanks all!

 

[CoolMom6]

Yeah, Mare, your kids will grow up pretty normal, thank the good Lord.

I am sure you are in her life to show her Jesus.
And I know you will pull it off properly, gf!!

 

[marezee]

Well...she supposedly already knows Jesus!
She is saved. She also believes a community should raise children.
That would be nice in a perfect world.
I do believe neighbors should help neighbors...we've become such a self-reliant society. And God didn't make us that way.
But if I want help with disciplining or anything else for that matter, I will certainly ask first.

 

[.chrys.]

LOL! I think so too, but I don't want to step on his mom's toes!! His diet is her business, just like disciplining my child is my business!
hey...maybe I will set my boundary with those words!!
thanks all!

She sounds a lot like my sister-in-law. Very scary. Know what? It's likely that if you hadn't given that little boy an extra glass of water that he'd be de-hydrated, didn't pee enough, and that would be your fault too!

Definitely time to set your boundaries.

 

[marezee]

She sounds a lot like my sister-in-law. Very scary. Know what? It's likely that if you hadn't given that little boy an extra glass of water that he'd be de-hydrated, didn't pee enough, and that would be your fault too!

Definitely time to set your boundaries.

thanks CW! Everyone's support here is so great!

 

[faithmom]

-And I don't think it is unusual for a tired 3 year old boy to have an "accident" at night anyway, no matter how much water he drank.

I'm with CW on this Mare, she would have found a problem no matter what.

And you already KNOW where I stand on healthy boundary issues.

The biggest challenge that I have had with my kids, is that when someone else voices and oppinion on how I raise my kids out loud, if my kids hear them, they are bright enough to use it back at hubby and I when they are acting out.

It confuses kids! It disrupts family life! But some people just can't resist being buttinskees and publicly voicing their opinions. (my in-laws...of course).

But here is where I get stuck....I also have nephews who are allowed to hit, punch and play really rough. And they WHAYLE on my two girls. I even have a neice with two brothers who joins in (she actually hit my son, during a fight, and stated "I was told, if I can't say something nice, not to say antying, so I hit instead.)

We have the rule, "if you hit, you sit" in our house, so my kids wouldn't even risk going there.

These kids parents won't stop them, these are situations like swimming pools, and yard play where there is no where else to go and nothing else for my kdis to do. But if hubby and I tell our nephews and niece to stop, we get chewed out for interfering by his sister's.

What would you do in that situation?

I mean, yeah, we ARE disciplining their kids. Something we don't agree with, but our kids count on us to protect them when they can't get away from bullies, right?

It is this bad. When one nephew was repeatedly shoving my daughter in a pool, then jumping in to dunk her head. (not just once, but over and over....so it wasn't just light teasing here), his mother sat and watched and said nothing. She feels kids have to learn to stand up for themselves and fight for themselves because it is a tough world. She would also take my head off, and her sisters would join in, if I said anything.

So, I called my daughter over, and said the next time he did it, to look him in the eye, tell him to stop doing it (which she had done), or she would write to Santa Clause about him. His little sister was right there (yes, the little sister who hits), so he couldn't spill the beans that he didn't believe in Santa anymore. He stopped, but you should have seen the GLARE from his mom.

So, what should a parent do about another kid who is hurting their own child or other kids?

 

[.chrys.]

So, what should a parent do about another kid who is hurting their own child or other kids?

Remove that child from the situation. It's what we do as adults, isn't it? If we're in an environment where we are being hit (verbally, or otherwise), and we don't agree with verbally abusing in return--we leave the situation. We find nicer friends (even family) to spend time with.

 

[CoolMom6]

Amen to the above!!!

 

[marezee]

yeah, I agree.
I suppose with family you need to sit down with the other "adults" and discuss consequences for their child's behavior.
If their children are at your house, and they do not discipline them, then it's time for those children to go home!
If your children are at their house, and those children continue hurting your children, then it's time for your children to go home.
yup...boundaries. and if it hurts someone's feelings or they get ticked off, so be it!
If your child's health and welfare is at stake, I vote for hurting someone's feelings over hurting a child!

 

[faithmom]

I agree, and we do, but this happens when we are on vacations with the inlaws, that the PILs pay for. It is why I am labled as the "problem" inlaw in the family, because if I do remove the kids from the situations...then I am not being greatful to the PILs for all they have provided, or I don't want to go on these trips (have declined 3 major ones over the past 10 years) I am creating division between my hubby and his family. If hubby stands by leaving or not going, they all join in that he doesn't love and value his family.

So, I am in a bit of a jam.

And, as I said, some of these situations, there is no where to go, we've litterally been bussed and housed at poolside, and such. Hubby's family is so large that they don't all fit into his parents house, so they get together at a place his parents pay for.

ARghhh. I know there is no really good solution here.

Another example. Same nephew...he karate kicked my daughter in the crotch durring a family dinner. The kids were done eating, and the adults were still seated (yes, their kids are all allowed to leave the table and run around like wild children as soon as they are done).
She came to me sobbing and in pain - she was bruised THERE (while he stood there and laughed). I told hubby to talk to his sister about what happened. His sister just sighed and said to her son, "I suppose you should appologize. That isn't very nice." The son, shrugged, said, sorry, and continued to laugh. She went back to talking to her sisters.

My daughter just looked at me and said, "Like he really meant it."

We said we needed to go, gathered our 3 kids and left. Nothing has changed. And I dread what that boy might do to a girl when he begins dating.

So, considering that....when boys like that become teens who rape, are we interfering with other people's right to discipline their children when we take them to court? Or do we just remove our daughters from those situations, and tell them to get over it? (remember, rape is about bullying and power, not sex).

I just think when another child physically hurts your child, and the parents don't do anything to stop it, you are telling your child that you condone bullying and that you are taking the approach that as a victim, they should just walk try away from it, that the bully doesn't have any consequences, only they do...the pain and helplessness.

(Please know, I do think if the parent is seriously saying something to their kid about what they did, no-one should interfere. I also don't let my kids tattle on name calling, teasing, etc....we all have to learn to walk away....I just feel the line should be drawn at physical harm).

In my family situation though, it hurts my husband when we leave his time with his family, it hurts him when we intervene on behalf of our kids because his sisters then retaliate against him. So we can't win either way. It's sad.

 

[marezee]

that is very sad faith.
Doesn't your DH see that this boy is physically harming your daughter/children??
how can he just stand by and let that happen?
I would disown my family b4 i let them hurt my boys!

I have all but stopped going to visit my mother because she refuses to stop smoking. two of three of my boys have asthma and allergies. And everytime we go to my mother's house, they have an attack due to the smoke.

Needless to say, we only go there when the weather is nice and they can be outside. or, we meet my mom at a restaurant and have lunch or dinner together. I refuse to put my boys in harms way for anyone...even my own mother.

It's time for your DH's sister to "get it." And only you and your DH can "give it to her."

 

[faithmom]

And, no....they are not open to sitting down to talk about it. We've tried. We've been informed that we should NOT tell their kids what to do, but that it IS O.K. for them to tell us and our kids what we should do because we are way to strict with our kids.

Now you know how the parents of kids who bully really think.

 

[marezee]

And, no....they are not open to sitting down to talk about it. We've tried. We've been informed that we should NOT tell their kids what to do, but that it IS O.K. for them to tell us and our kids what we should do because we are way to strict with our kids.

Now you know how the parents of kids who bully really think.

that is just wrong! Tell them that is a double standard and they cannot get away with it.
Next time this boy actually hurts your daughter...press charges!
yup...you will be alienated, but what is worth your daughter's safety?