S.a.h.m.

[Leanna]

Rose, perhaps you would feel better if you could move past the baby stage? It mut be frustrating to keep starting over and over again

 

[JustBeachy]

I am so envious of all of you who love being SAHMs....I struggle through each and every day!!

Five kids is a big job. I wish we all lived closer to you - we could take turns watching the kids while you go on a cruise all by yourself...

 

[DonnaB]

I am so envious of all of you who love being SAHMs....I struggle through each and every day!!

Thank for being honest Rose, I only have one and I often struggle. prayers for you

(I was starting to think I'm the only one.)

Don't get me wrong, I love that I am home with DD. It just takes all of my energy to be "present" and engaged with her the majority of the time. I think some is this is because of my background (abusive past, clinical depression and eating disorder). It is much more exhausting than any job I've ever had, and I spend a lot of time feeling like I am not doing a good job. It isn't like work where people tell you how smart you are or how well you do things.

 

[DonnaB]

Thanks for your honesty! I went through a very difficult transition almost 4 years ago when I left a job that I was good at to do ministry. Now I'm glad I went through all those emotions back then and I won't have to do it again

That must have been a switch! Are you going to stop doing ministry after the baby is born?

You are getting so close to your due date

 

[RedTulipMom]

i didn't know that! thank you! you have quite some distance between your first and last child! wow!

yes..i sure do...joey was 15 when luke was born...i started being a mommy at 19 and will have kids at home till i am 60...i must be crazy i guess...lol

 

[RedTulipMom]

I am so envious of all of you who love being SAHMs....I struggle through each and every day!!

oh..your not the only one..i struggle through it as well each day..its HARD..but very rewarding, im sure you'd agree!

 

[BananaCake]

That must have been a switch! Are you going to stop doing ministry after the baby is born?

You are getting so close to your due date

I will definitely keep doing ministry and will probably keep one of my other part-time jobs as well. We'll see But as of today, doing the ministry is not optional, either finance-wise or responsibility-wise. We'll see later how realistic that really is

And yes, 6 more weeks!

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Thank for being honest Rose, I only have one and I often struggle. prayers for you

(I was starting to think I'm the only one.)

Don't get me wrong, I love that I am home with DD. It just takes all of my energy to be "present" and engaged with her the majority of the time. I think some is this is because of my background (abusive past, clinical depression and eating disorder). It is much more exhausting than any job I've ever had, and I spend a lot of time feeling like I am not doing a good job. It isn't like work where people tell you how smart you are or how well you do things.

Sometimes I think that is the hardest part. You don't get to see a big reward or compensation for your work at home like you would with a job outside the house. Yeah, the kids will occasionally tell you your the best whatever but in my adult mind I'm left thinking, "Of course I am you don't have any other point of reference for what other mommies do." Whereas at a job outside you can complete a project and see the fruit of your work or receive a paycheck. To be at home you need to find the rewards in the little things like seeing you child ride a bike or tie their shoes, sit up, use a spoon etc. But even that gets hard because we've been told that we aren't "done" until they are out of the house yet that isn't even true. So here we are. Parents with a perpetually unending job. This seems to be especially true for parents who homeschool.

So, Rose - You are not alone. Sometimes I think we have it ingrained in us that we are not supposed to admit that we don't always like the job we've chosen. But honestly, who likes their job 100% of the time?

Sorry, that was long. . . .

 

[Leanna]

I will definitely keep doing ministry and will probably keep one of my other part-time jobs as well. We'll see But as of today, doing the ministry is not optional, either finance-wise or responsibility-wise. We'll see later how realistic that really is

And yes, 6 more weeks!

Its not bad with a baby-- with a toddler it would be more difficult

 

[BananaCake]

Its not bad with a baby-- with a toddler it would be more difficult

Yes, people have been telling me it becomes more and more difficult beginning with crawling age I've had several friends offer to allow me to piggy-back on their childcare or nanny if I need to. I'd help pay the cost, of course. Right now, I'm not sure that's in the budget, but it would be nice to be able to have maybe 1 or 2 portions of time set aside every week to make my ministry appointments. And then my other part-time job can be done in off hours, like 6 AM or in the evening when my spouse is home. It's on his way to work, though right now, we have one car, so he'd have to take the baby on public transportation, or I'd have to take public transportation. But that'd be OK.

We also rent out 2 rooms in our house, so we're considering having someone move in who might be willing to do some childcare in exchange for a reduction on rent. We unfortunately don't have any family members nearby who could help.

 

[clycleader]

I struggle sometimes in being a good SAHM. I used to work in a job that i LOVED until my son was born. I struggle big time until he was about 6 months old. I finally made some sense of my calling to be his mommy. I decided that it was what God intended for me (at least until he tells me otherwise) and I will love every day. Even those days when I feel stressed out and want to pull my hair out!! He's almost 2 now so those days are more frequent.

 

[cremi]

Thank for being honest Rose, I only have one and I often struggle. prayers for you

(I was starting to think I'm the only one.)

Don't get me wrong, I love that I am home with DD. It just takes all of my energy to be "present" and engaged with her the majority of the time. I think some is this is because of my background (abusive past, clinical depression and eating disorder). It is much more exhausting than any job I've ever had, and I spend a lot of time feeling like I am not doing a good job. It isn't like work where people tell you how smart you are or how well you do things.

Hey!

I just wanted to say a couple of things here...

First of all, one of my biggest fears when I left my job to be a SAHM was the thought that no matter how clean I kept the toliet, I was not going to get praise or a raise!!! I struggled with that part, but after my first was born, I had no regrets about staying home.

That doesn't mean there aren't some day when I wish I could run away to a job--because those days do come, but usually it's because I've turned inward and focused only on my self and what I want. When I keep my focus on the Lord, I don't struggle with those issues as much.

I also felt very overwhelmed when I had just one. I couldn't see how I could ever handle more than one--and now I have four! One was HARD!!!!! Yet, with each child that came along, my patience grew and my understanding and wisdom grew.

lots and lots of prayer! Don't forget that part!

 

[HeartStrings]

I will have my child be a homschooled child..I now homeschool my siblings and it works great.. there will abvously be some downfalls but more up than down. I like what they will learn and pensicola christian college is woth it. I dont want the drama and crap associated with public schooling. and as long as they are active in the church and outside activiteis..like tball and so on they they should be fine! kwim its great. they can even play sports at the schools and take a class or two..so it works out.. I wish i was able to learn hebrew history. and basic stuff like that! kwim...just being their teacher im learning alot

 

[lottepotte]

I stayed home when my first baby was born. It was hard with one, but the baby brought to me also much comfort (I had recently lost my mother and father). Me and my husband agreed from the beginning, that we want at least 3 children. So we planned also a second one. During 2 pragnances I studied in the University. While my second child was 9 months and I still writing the diploma, I started part time working as a lawyer. I graduated while he was 1,5 yrs old. At the same time we founded our own company with my husband. He has been an investor and counseller while working for good salary in other company, but I have been a manager.

Now looking back I do not understand myself at all!!! Did I really wanted so much to do something more or did I escape!?! Today I think I did escape. I did not appreciate my work as a mother and homekeeper enough. This thinking comes pretty much from our society today. I do not know many young mothers who stay at home with older than 1,5 year old child. But I think now that it was because I wasnt satisfied with myself as a houskeeper. I wasnt very good in that. But, because of constant feeling that I work at the expense of my children for today I do not like working outside at all. We have decided since last spring that I take much more time for kids. I have been enjoying it. We decided to get our 3rd child. During August I will delegate all management in our company to another person. And I will stay full time home as soon as possible. But... I must learn how to be at home. I have decided not to escape and start to enjoy it. Actually I love being home, cooking etc, but keeping order is not my strongest characteristic. I am OK with my kids, but I have no discipline for my home.

So this change in our life is also reason why I found this forum . I am sad about my former desicions. I really want to learn how to be content and happy mother and wife. So there is no room left in my brain for the thoughts about what I will do after all our children go to school...

 

[thesearenotthecatholicsyouarelookingfor]

RIght now I am going through a phase where I am bored outta my mind at home.....

Me too...just bored and exhausted...and I'm only doing it until the end of the summer! I'm a teacher, so when classes start in the fall I'll be back out of the house. I don't know how people do it long-term. I admire all you guys. I love the kids dearly but I so miss being around adults and not having to be watchful every single second.

 

[marezee]

yes, i do miss having adult conversations, and contact. sure, i could call my friends, family, etc, but it doesn't replace good old fashioned personal contact. having a cup of coffee, perusing the shops, going to a movie or out to lunch...i miss all that.

 

[sparassidae]

The SAHMs in our church started a "Mothers morning tea" 3 years ago. Two of us were new to the area, so didn't know many people very well. Everyone wanted the chance for a get together once a week. I had just had my third child, with 3 children under 5 yo. Nearly PND because of a lot of stuff going on. That weekly meeting got me out of the house, with people who could sympathise, hold the baby and make me a cup of tea.

3 years later (and another baby ) it's the highlight of my week.

We usually meet at church in the garden (or hall when it's cold/wet) or sometimes at someone's house.

We just sit around, have morning tea and chat. We get the toys out for the children to play with, and obviously if they need our attention we give it, but the focus is on US. It's not only for those with small children, we have a couple of mums come whose children are all at school.

I don't know if this sort of thing is a possibility for you guys, but we find it really keeps us sane Obviously we talk about our children a fair bit, but also news, movies, just chatting about anything that's going on.

Hope this helps!

 

[littlesister]

Gold bless you! i have an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 & 5 yr old. they keep us busy don't they! how is the medical transcription business? do you have a well established client list, or free lance? how to you "break into" that business. i started a course, but never finished it.

I took a 14-wk. course locally pre-kids, then went to work at a local hospital for 6 mos...after that I transferred to a transcription company locally and am now able to work from home. Independent contracting pays much better, but it's hard to find a doctor who doesn't use a big company like the one I work for. I'm definitely not complaining about the pay, though. I could have gotten a 4-yr. degree in another field and gotten paid less than I do now. It was a good move for me. I really would be heartbroken if I had to work away from home right now. I just don't want to miss a minute of these years...

So you know what's it like to be overrun w/ little men too... I don't dare to hope that the one on the way is a girl! At least our hamster is a girl, so I'm not completely alone...

 

[sparassidae]

Hey ladies

Head on over to Blessings Exchange- I'm representing all of us in a dress up contest.

Vote for me- SAHM

Top 10 Occupation Finalists-Vote! (

1 2 )

 

[marezee]

I took a 14-wk. course locally pre-kids, then went to work at a local hospital for 6 mos...after that I transferred to a transcription company locally and am now able to work from home. Independent contracting pays much better, but it's hard to find a doctor who doesn't use a big company like the one I work for. I'm definitely not complaining about the pay, though. I could have gotten a 4-yr. degree in another field and gotten paid less than I do now. It was a good move for me. I really would be heartbroken if I had to work away from home right now. I just don't want to miss a minute of these years...

So you know what's it like to be overrun w/ little men too... I don't dare to hope that the one on the way is a girl! At least our hamster is a girl, so I'm not completely alone...

yeah...overrun by testosterone! LOL! no other females in this house! oh well, maybe that's a good thing! I lived with my mother for a while when I was 32, and I really disliked it! I also grew up with 3 sisters (I was the baby sister). That wasn't much fun either. They never wanted me around, and I always got their hand-me-downs. rant rant rant.