Hey, I actually suffer from Paranoid Schioaffective disorder bipolar type and a few other things but with my schizo I have panic attacks a lot and they usually go along with an episode of psychosis where the psychotic episode is usually brought about by the panic attacks...
Now I had one night before last like I haven't had in a long time... It was my worst I've had in a while.. It started while I was happy and watching a really good movie talking to my friend.. And from being happy my bipolar created a blah emotionless mood for an hour or so, then it turned to being depressed.. And that's when I started to panic, I swore I was being watched and started to cry. Then I was hearing horrible ear piercing sounds and shrills which escalated to an eveil voice telling me I'm crazy and I'm going to get stuck in a psych ward, then..the voice kept telling me and convincing me to hurt myself and question God and that I'm worthless and I may as well end it all now.. I then proceeded to call my friend and she was helping me but the voice convinced me to grab a knife and cut so I flipped open the blade and it wouldn't cut! I was apparently mumbling something about a stupid knife not cutting and then the friend I was talking to got me to put it down, put on soothing music, breath while curled in a ball and just listen to her voice to fall asleep..eventually I fell asleep after the horrible 3 or so hour attack that I cried the whole time...
Anyway I know I need help, I should probably tell my rents but I can't... They would FLIP and yes I know I need meds, therapy, and hospitilization but why me? How will this be good in the end? Why me!?!?
I need advice... /: I'm 17 and a Senior in HS...
Now I had one night before last like I haven't had in a long time... It was my worst I've had in a while.. It started while I was happy and watching a really good movie talking to my friend.. And from being happy my bipolar created a blah emotionless mood for an hour or so, then it turned to being depressed.. And that's when I started to panic, I swore I was being watched and started to cry. Then I was hearing horrible ear piercing sounds and shrills which escalated to an eveil voice telling me I'm crazy and I'm going to get stuck in a psych ward, then..the voice kept telling me and convincing me to hurt myself and question God and that I'm worthless and I may as well end it all now.. I then proceeded to call my friend and she was helping me but the voice convinced me to grab a knife and cut so I flipped open the blade and it wouldn't cut! I was apparently mumbling something about a stupid knife not cutting and then the friend I was talking to got me to put it down, put on soothing music, breath while curled in a ball and just listen to her voice to fall asleep..eventually I fell asleep after the horrible 3 or so hour attack that I cried the whole time...
Anyway I know I need help, I should probably tell my rents but I can't... They would FLIP and yes I know I need meds, therapy, and hospitilization but why me? How will this be good in the end? Why me!?!?
I need advice... /: I'm 17 and a Senior in HS...