Where do I start here, I have had anxiety and OCD my WHOLE life. There are videos of me as a three year old doing repetitive actions. My parents took them because they were concerned on why I was acting weird. I have faced almost every kind of anxiety out there: health anxiety, Spiritual anxiety, magical thinking, POCD, HOCD, ROCD, Pure OCD, Real event OCD, the list goes on. You get the point.
Now, when I was in Grade 1 I had what is known as a cluster seizure. This is a bunch of seizures together that appear as one BIG seizure. There is no family history of seizures so the docs still don't know why I had this, but I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Now, Praise the Lord, I never had another seizure. But it became one of my MAIN fears with anxiety. That I was going to have another one.
For example, I started to get dizzy with strobes thinking that it was photosensitive epilepsy. Nope...just anxiety.
About a year after that I started to get these bursts of false smells of smoke out of nowhere. This is a symptom of temporal lobe epilepsy. But nope, also anxiety. I still get these sometimes if im REALLY stressed. So im used to my anxiety messing with me. However this one is different.
Back in May of last year I started to think about my seizures again, and I started to get worried about them. Shortly after that I was informed that I would be seeing my neuro in a few weeks for my final appointment with her. This got me REALLY concerned and about a week later I had this strong episode of Deja Vu, which again, is a BIG sign of temporal lobe epilepsy. However, I shook it off and moved on, forgetting about it. Two weeks later it happens again. Once again I shook it off and moved on. Two weeks later it happens AGAIN. This time I freak out. I start googling (how dumb I know, im a pretty seasoned anxiety sufferer and yet I did the single most stupid thing you can do) and get myself all good and anxious. At this point I was near a panic attack and I started to worry and freak out. I started to have them more and more frequently. First it was every 5 days. Then every 3, then 2 and so on.
June rolls around and I see two neurologists. Both of which tell me that I am probably ok. However my deja vus end up getting way more frequent. I talk to my neuro and get an EEG booked. It comes back clean, this did calm me a bit, but I didnt actually have a deja vu while hooked up to the EEG. So I brush it off and continue worrying.
Meanwhile the deja vus are still going on strong.
We jump forward to January of this year (big jump I know, but thats the healthcare system for ya) I meet again with my neuro, she is near positive that I am ok, however I am still having the Deja vus. And they are getting even MORE frequent. I then talk to my GP (who happens to have a masters in neurology), and she is ALSO pretty sure I am ok. However they CONTINUE to get worse.
That brings us to present day. I can't go a DAY without having at least several. They last like 2-10 seconds, and I get this feeling ive done X before and I can even see a false memory of me doing X before. But I can't recall the image afterwords. I am scared to DRIVE because of this. And I keep seeing posts on this sub where people were told their dejavus were just anxiety and then they end up being seizures. I just don't know what to do. Has anyone had this with anxiety before? I am so terrified.
Now, when I was in Grade 1 I had what is known as a cluster seizure. This is a bunch of seizures together that appear as one BIG seizure. There is no family history of seizures so the docs still don't know why I had this, but I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Now, Praise the Lord, I never had another seizure. But it became one of my MAIN fears with anxiety. That I was going to have another one.
For example, I started to get dizzy with strobes thinking that it was photosensitive epilepsy. Nope...just anxiety.
About a year after that I started to get these bursts of false smells of smoke out of nowhere. This is a symptom of temporal lobe epilepsy. But nope, also anxiety. I still get these sometimes if im REALLY stressed. So im used to my anxiety messing with me. However this one is different.
Back in May of last year I started to think about my seizures again, and I started to get worried about them. Shortly after that I was informed that I would be seeing my neuro in a few weeks for my final appointment with her. This got me REALLY concerned and about a week later I had this strong episode of Deja Vu, which again, is a BIG sign of temporal lobe epilepsy. However, I shook it off and moved on, forgetting about it. Two weeks later it happens again. Once again I shook it off and moved on. Two weeks later it happens AGAIN. This time I freak out. I start googling (how dumb I know, im a pretty seasoned anxiety sufferer and yet I did the single most stupid thing you can do) and get myself all good and anxious. At this point I was near a panic attack and I started to worry and freak out. I started to have them more and more frequently. First it was every 5 days. Then every 3, then 2 and so on.
June rolls around and I see two neurologists. Both of which tell me that I am probably ok. However my deja vus end up getting way more frequent. I talk to my neuro and get an EEG booked. It comes back clean, this did calm me a bit, but I didnt actually have a deja vu while hooked up to the EEG. So I brush it off and continue worrying.
Meanwhile the deja vus are still going on strong.
We jump forward to January of this year (big jump I know, but thats the healthcare system for ya) I meet again with my neuro, she is near positive that I am ok, however I am still having the Deja vus. And they are getting even MORE frequent. I then talk to my GP (who happens to have a masters in neurology), and she is ALSO pretty sure I am ok. However they CONTINUE to get worse.
That brings us to present day. I can't go a DAY without having at least several. They last like 2-10 seconds, and I get this feeling ive done X before and I can even see a false memory of me doing X before. But I can't recall the image afterwords. I am scared to DRIVE because of this. And I keep seeing posts on this sub where people were told their dejavus were just anxiety and then they end up being seizures. I just don't know what to do. Has anyone had this with anxiety before? I am so terrified.
