Reminds me of the fantastic song "The Sad Cafe" by The Eagles [great sax solo by David Sanborn]:
The clouds rolled in and hid that shore
Now that Glory Train, it don't stop here no more
Now I look at the years gone by,
And wonder at the powers that be.
I don't know why fortune smiles on some
And lets the rest go free
A good friend of mine quotes this song often because it does such a poetic job of describing capricious fate. And your point DaisyDay is "Be careful and compassionate. It might be you next, headed for The Sad Cafe."
Ah yes, that song.
The very next verse of it gives more wisdom:
"Maybe the time has drawn the faces I recall.
But things in this life change very slowly
If they ever change at all.
There's no use in asking why,
It just turned out that way.
So meet me at midnight, baby,
Inside the Sad Cafe."
And it's the truth: things in this life change very slowly if they ever change at all.
Losing weight, or quitting smoking, or drinking, or drug abuse, or swearing, or meat eating, or really any other habit, good bad or indifferent, is hard. It's hard because the lives we lived are lived under a steady pressure - of biology, of aging, of expectations, of work, of debt, of demands, and of fears. We don't own our times, and we while we occupy our bodies, for a good long time we hope, we don't own them either. We control very little; there is only the illusion of control most of the time. Olympic runners die suddenly of heart attacks. Healthy people are stricken with cancer. And most people are hit with economic distress and emotional pain.
From our youths we walk forward in life against a countercurrent of nature. First it's like a trickling stream or a gentle breeze, but as we become adults the current increases, the wind increases - our responsibilities rise and we do not control others, or the economy, or our bodies. And as the pressures rise we find little things that relieve them for a moment. Aspirin, or a drink, some comfort food, a cigarette, sex. But these things dull us to the pain and the pressure. They don't stop the current, they don't reduce the wind, they just make us feel it less, for a moment. And in time they add to it. Our bodies thicken. Little red veins appear in our noses. We develop a cough. We become emotionally dead.
In time, the damage done itself becomes a burden on us, a source of stress, even while it remains a source of relief. And of course life doesn't stop with its own pressures, imperceptibly increasing day by die, the wind rises to a gale, the water deepens and the current increases.
Ultimately, we fail. We lose our footing in the flood and are washed away. The wind rises to a hurricane and blows us away. We die, pass out of our bodies, and go on to what's next. How will we be judged for these things by our Creator? Less harshly than we judge ourselves, for the most part. The addicted hate themselves more than God hates them. The pressures that led to the addiction never go away. The scars and the pain - all of that - remain. The beginning of healing is for the human to stop judging himself or herself harshly - the world is going to do that anyway: you're fat, you're an alcoholic, you're a degenerate smoker, you're a pothead, you're a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], you're a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], and so on. Of course, every single person making that judgment is himself fat, or alcoholic, or a smoker, or pothead, or sexually twisted, or, worst of all, a judgmental fool.
For Jesus never said: The fat shall not enter the Kingdom of God. Or the smokers shall be thrown into the lake of fire. He told people that if they forgave, they would be forgiven. But he DID say "Judge not, lest ye be judged." And he did say that God would not forgive the unforgiving.
So if you've sought shelter against the current of life in some bodily vice, sure it's a weakness - men are weak - sure you want to fix it - but the place to start fixing it is to stop hating yourself for it. You didn't set the storm in your face, and you didn't make the flood. So don't take on the personal responsibility for the world having been so bad to you, and for the pressures being so terrible. The world is a fallen place, and it's not getting better. You can reduce some of the pressure on yourself, but only if you love yourself. That's why to do it: love, for yourself. If you stand there hating yourself for the anesthetics you take (be they food or alcohol, tobacco or drugs or sex) in order to dull some of the pain, you're just inflicting more pain. It's not YOUR fault that the world is a disaster. You're just trying to survive in it. And you can make your path a little easier, for a little while, if you do less of whatever it is that you were doing. A little less can lead to less and less. You could get thinner, you could break some of the vices (though they will always be there). And be a little happier with yourself, a little bit less in pain...until the current drowns you and the tornado kills you anyway. Nobody gets out of here alive, so don't make your life worse by hating yourself for your weaknesses along the way. We all have terrible weaknesses. The worst ones are being judgmental and unforgiving. Why are they the worst? Because Jesus said they were. If you think otherwise, you're fighting with God, and you're wrong. So stop it. YOU might think your belly, or your smoking, or your porn addiction, is much worse than being judgmental and unforgiving, but Jesus said otherwise. Don't add to your miseries by attacking HIM. Just accept that you're a human and really don't know much, stop beating up on yourself. Forgive yourself and others. And try. Things in this life rarely change at all, but if there is something you want to change, that's all you can do.
"Well those drifter's days are past me now,
I've got so much more to think about.
Deadlines and commitments,
What to leave in,
What to leave out.
Against the wind.
I'm still running against the wind.
I'm older now, but still running against the wind." - Seeger
--- Seinfeld
They were a hindrance to getting up - who can disturb a purring, furry creature camped out on one's lap? Although, being Siamese, they did like to rumble and being so loud, they got their way, much to the annoyance of my downstairs neighbors.
