OCD/Vows as a child?

[AnaMarina]

Hello everyone. I was wondering about being bound to a rash vow/oath I made as a young girl. I should say that while I do not have medically diagnosed OCD, I have struggled with impulsive thoughts and suicidal thoughts ever since I was in the third grade, and many of my symptoms match that of an OCD diagnosis.

So a bit of background. I did not grow up in a Christian home. My mom read a few Bible stories to me growing up, but I never really had a grasp on who Jesus was or anything like that until I was in my teens.

So, when I was 10 years old, I went through a "phase" where I would constantly make vows to God about things that were seemingly small and insignificant, as a means of changing my behavior (for example, I would vow to stop saying certain words to prevent myself from cussing). I would then end up breaking some of these vows on accident (due to acquired habit), and have panic attacks about it, thinking I was going to hell, which only led me to make more vows, and so on.

I eventually stopped making vows and forgot about it. I became a Christian in my teens, and learned about Jesus and how He specifically forbade us from making vows and said that anything more than "yes" or "no" is evil. (Matthew 5:33-37).

The question arose when I became engaged. I started worrying about the possibility of me accidentally making a vow of celibacy as a kid.

As a child, I don't remember doing that, but after becoming engaged I started thinking "what if I did, and I just don't remember?". I specifically remember making vows about small things (words, phrases) as well as against more serious matters (masturbation, murder, suicide), but celibacy doesn't come to mind. Logically, I would've remembered making a vow about something so serious, unfortunately my sick brain doesn't adhere to logic very well :/

The man I am engaged to, I love him very much. He is also a devout Christian. We share many of the same values and principles, and for years I have looked forward to having children with him. I truly believe we could have a wonderful family together.

I know we are not under Old Testament law and that Christ specifically forbade swearing and making oaths of any kind, but I'm still scared that God will hold me to my words no matter how much I ask Him for forgiveness. I can't help but wonder if I am now bound to a life of being single because of one stupid vow I made as a child who knew next-to-nothing about God.

 

[God is good]

Hello everyone. I was wondering about being bound to a rash vow/oath I made as a young girl. I should say that while I do not have medically diagnosed OCD, I have struggled with impulsive thoughts and suicidal thoughts ever since I was in the third grade, and many of my symptoms match that of an OCD diagnosis.

So a bit of background. I did not grow up in a Christian home. My mom read a few Bible stories to me growing up, but I never really had a grasp on who Jesus was or anything like that until I was in my teens.

So, when I was 10 years old, I went through a "phase" where I would constantly make vows to God about things that were seemingly small and insignificant, as a means of changing my behavior (for example, I would vow to stop saying certain words to prevent myself from cussing). I would then end up breaking some of these vows on accident (due to acquired habit), and have panic attacks about it, thinking I was going to hell, which only led me to make more vows, and so on.

I eventually stopped making vows and forgot about it. I became a Christian in my teens, and learned about Jesus and how He specifically forbade us from making vows and said that anything more than "yes" or "no" is evil. (Matthew 5:33-37).

The question arose when I became engaged. I started worrying about the possibility of me accidentally making a vow of celibacy as a kid.

As a child, I don't remember doing that, but after becoming engaged I started thinking "what if I did, and I just don't remember?". I specifically remember making vows about small things (words, phrases) as well as against more serious matters (masturbation, murder, suicide), but celibacy doesn't come to mind. Logically, I would've remembered making a vow about something so serious, unfortunately my sick brain doesn't adhere to logic very well :/

The man I am engaged to, I love him very much. He is also a devout Christian. We share many of the same values and principles, and for years I have looked forward to having children with him. I truly believe we could have a wonderful family together.

I know we are not under Old Testament law and that Christ specifically forbade swearing and making oaths of any kind, but I'm still scared that God will hold me to my words no matter how much I ask Him for forgiveness. I can't help but wonder if I am now bound to a life of being single because of one stupid vow I made as a child who knew next-to-nothing about God.

I wouldn't let this bother you, it sounds like classic ocd and God knows the true you. God loves you and Jesus is our Lord and Saviour.

 

[Mari17]

I agree, this sounds just like OCD! It's very very common for those of us with OCD to start worrying about something which we are happy about or really want. In fact, there's another thread on here where the poster is afraid that she should not get married despite being very happy in the relationship. Do you have therapy or other tools to manage your disorder?