I like to first start off by saying sorry for my spelling and all these errors to my story, I’m here to try my very best on explaining myself.
I’ve met this lovely woman to whom I’m engaged with, and theirs some things that I’ve said and done, where I’m reflecting on from my past that I regret making.I’d like to share as to where our relationship is at, our relationship is a long distant relationship where I’m from the United States, and she from Mexico.I’ve been A Christian for maybe a year or so.She herself is making changes little by little for her to become a Christian for me, and not just for me, but for God most importantly.
Before we were a couple. i’ve been introduced to her to which we’ve set up a date. And when getting to know someone you’ll take that person out on dates and so forth in order to get to know that person more, that’s how we’ve done it as friends.Time went by and as for me, I’ve started losing interest in her, it was like I really didn’t have feelings for her and seeing it now, at that time looking back at it.It was mostly because what I was looking for in a woman, was a woman just off her looks, and to me at that time I didn’t really see her as a attractive person. I was looking at her asking myself if she is going to be my future girlfriend and future wife.Im sure I was debating on that, I don’t remember because it’s been a while, but I’ve made the decision where I’ve ghosted her/left her on read to her messages without giving explanation as to why I’ve stopped talking to her. Told myself I’ve made a decision. I gotta stick with that decision I’ve made. it was something that I did that I’m sure I was conscience of and where I thought out on this decision.
Throughout the time when I stop talking to her, I've made these prayers where I prayed against her, to God. where I was throwing these vows, promises, oaths and I don’t remember whether I’ve said covenant too, asking God to never have her as my future girlfriend and future wife continuously and sincerely, through out my time where I’ve stopped talking to her.Through out that time I was asking where is said the same things but where asking God to promise me and so forth where I was praying against her.I had this hate towards her, Ive despised her when I did happen to see her at Mexico.Its certain that I’ve spoke bad about her and her looks behind her back.I didn’t want anything to do with her, just like I’ve mentioned, where I’ve made this decision, now I gotta stick with it.I do happen remember I think where I was saying yes to Christ and asking God to find me another future girlfriend and future wife.It went on like that for a while until I’ve gotten the opportunity to speak with her and come to her, asking her to forgive me for everything I’ve done and how I’ve left her without giving an explanation, I gave her some reasons as to why I stopped talking to her. For example, my dad wasn’t in favor of me speaking with a woman from Mexico. I also gave her an excuse of how I make decisions without thinking. I shared a little bit about my past and how I am. and she forgive me anyways and not long after we ended up dating. and when dating it came to me in my conscience were in my conscience I did not share her the main reason as to why I stopped talking to her and so I decided to make a phone call which was very hard for me share with her as to why I stop talking to her. but I said it I shared with her the main reason as to why stop talking to her and that was because of her appearance, and and how I was looking for a woman who has good looks.And she forgave me anyways on those details that I did not share with her when I first asked her to forgive me then afterwards, she asked me whether I wanted to continue on with this relationship and the things I said through that phone call, it didn’t bother her. I said yes I do wanna continue on this relationship, and how long after that we got engaged.Not to mention when we stopped talking to each other I was explaining myself to God being reasonable as to why I’ve also stopped talking to her, but it was mostly just off the looks, and as for the other details are because we had this language barrier in which now we are able to understand and speak more to each other.And the other reason is because it was long distant relationship but now we look at the suffering as a little bit, we don’t see each other for maybe like for one weekend every 2 weeks.
but after hearing all this, my question to my concern is “am I bound to fulfill those vows, promises, and oats I regret making at that time when I stop talking to her or can, God forgive me for everything, I said, and done to her when I stopped talking to her at that time?”
I have a change of heart, and I truly love her and this is definitely a concern of mine because of what I did, and what I’m reflecting on right now ,and those decisions I’ve made in the past, I truly regret.
The reason why I ask whether I’m bound or not because of the Bible now the Bible is the truth and it doesn’t contradict itself and with what I’m gonna be sharing is some Bible scriptures that speak on promises and vows and how you should fulfill them and not delay on them.
Can God forgive me or am I bound to fulfill those promises, vows, oaths and covenants that I’m
very regretful of?
Numbers 30:2 NLT
”A man who makes a vow to the Lord or makes a pledge under oath must never break it. He must do exactly what he said he would do.“
Matthew 5:33-37 NLT
”“You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord.’ But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne. And do not say, ‘By the earth!’ because the earth is his footstool. And do not say, ‘By Jerusalem!’ for Jerusalem is the city of the great King. Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.“
Deuteronomy 23:21-23 NLT
”“When you make a vow to the Lord your God, be prompt in fulfilling whatever you promised him. For the Lord your God demands that you promptly fulfill all your vows, or you will be guilty of sin. However, it is not a sin to refrain from making a vow. But once you have voluntarily made a vow, be careful to fulfill your promise to the Lord your God.“
Ecclesiastes 5:2-7 NLT
”Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few. Too much activity gives you restless dreams; too many words make you a fool. When you make a promise to God, don’t delay in following through, for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to him. It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it. Don’t let your mouth make you sin. And don’t defend yourself by telling the Temple messenger that the promise you made was a mistake. That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved. Talk is cheap, like daydreams and other useless activities. Fear God instead.“
James 5:12 NLT
”But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned.“
