Mylinkay Asdara said:
I think this is a healthy little thread. I'm so happy to return to it in it's origenal state rarther than all trashed out as I feared it might be.
As am I. Much can be learned from those of different faiths, cultures, and
traditional beliefs.
Congratulations Mylinkay! You seem to have accomplished what many
of us have tried in the past (and failed).
Okay, now let's move to the deeper question- what led you to the beliefs you currently hold?
That would require a novel. I'll try to highlight the turning points.
I'm half Cherokee from my Father's side, his Father and Mother were
full bloods. My Grandmother was a strict, literalist Christian, my Grandfather
rejected the religion. He was just that way. I was very young when
he passed over, so we never got the chance to talk. We grew up
in an isolated, strictly Christian community, so I had no choice
in the matter. I knew of our heritage, but discussing it was
out of the question. My Grandfather left two huge wooden chests,
stored in our garage. I was warned sternly never to open them.
Disease had robbed him of his site, and his ability to leave our
home. I knew his life's story was contained within those two huge
wooden chests, yet the penalty of being caught exploring them
was greater than my curiosity. And at that point, I never cared
for my Grandfather's past...why should I? My Grandfather passed
over that year, and again something was drawing me..to what
I did not know.
I grew up with a driving curiousity of nature, and questioned
everything. There were several turning points that first caused
me to question the faith I was raised in, to scrutinize it, and then
to finally reject it as truth. The first occasion occured when I was
around 12 I believe. The 'leader' of our faith made a public announcement
concerning his 'plans' for me. First I was shocked, then I became
filled with rebellion and anger. How dare someone choose my
spiritual path. To speek out would have meant a severe thrashing
when I got home, however the foundations of my new plans
began to be laid. Unfortunately this 'leader' was ostricized shortly
when it was discovered he had a drinking problem. I watched
in disbelief at how those who professed a religion of love drove
a man to his grave. His chosen replacement was even worse.
In one study session he had the audacity of speeking on the 'sin'
of mixed marriages. I could only sit silent, yet I'm sure my
unmoving, piercing eyes spoke without words for my feelings. For
I was a child of a mixed marriage, and this man was teaching
that I was an abomination. That was the final straw. My Father
flew into a rage when I defiantly claimed I'd never return with him.
He conceited when he realized nothing would change my mind. Not
the verbal lashings, not the physical thrashings, not the 'we're here
to save you sessions' by the other members. I was 15 and had drawn
a line in the sand. Of course I've excluded all the other 'nonsense'
I had been taught: Long hair on a male was sin (what of those
pictures of the white Jesus?), Dancing was a sin (what of those
Israelites that danced?) The faith I attended was the 'only' one
true faith, (what of those multitudes of other Christian faiths)?
The answers I received to these questions were unacceptable,
and many found it irritating that I could raise such questions.
Yet, I felt the answers were waiting to be found... I was being
drawn.
Fast forward two years. I found my escape. The military.
And more reasons to question Christianity. Eight years of
service, and I won't go into details for personal reasons. Lets
just say I witnessed many pray and scream out to the Christian
God, yet their God neither answered, helped nor saved them.
I became numb to religion. Yet, something watched over me,
guided me, and protected me. Too many events to be a coincidence.
Fast forward 9 years. I ended my career with the military
to pursue my new educational goals. My love of nature and science
was my new path, and those 'literal' teachings of the Bible kept
coming back into question. Creation in a 'literal' 7 days...
impossible, A global flood....impossible, The sun standing still
in the sky for the Israelites to continue one of their many wars..
impossible.... The Exodus... no scientific or recorded evidence...
All animals migrating to Adam to be named...impossible....
demons existing within men 2000 years ago, yet psychology
shows the true nature of the mind...more conflict. While pursuing
my degrees in Engineering and Math, my curiosity over the earlier
'teachings' that were still residing with me drove me to dive into
History, Psychology, Anatomy, Physiology, and Astronomy as
side subjects. I sought answers (and found them). Yet family
matters still tied me to a faith I could not embrace. I was never
so confused.
The influences of my Uncle (who was
a Father to me in Spirit) set me on my journey to explore my
heritage. I returned to my Father's house one weekend for
a visit. I was going to get answers. While noone was home,
I opened my Grandfather's chests. The memories of the
statements certain family members had made after his passing
came back to haunt me. The fact he had rejected Christianity
had condemned him to eternal torment. That was a traumatizing
thought. As I prowled through his life, I found many strange
things to me at that time... pictures, writings, artwork, handmade
tools. I began to realize what a great man he had been.
Something awoke within me...something strange and unknown.
I began a quest that continues until this day, and will continue.
I had open the door to discovery. That I was Tsalagi, that I
was the descendent of a peaceful people. That I was a
descendent of the Wolf clan. For several more years
I wandered, until my visit to Red Clay. The starting point
of The Trail of Tears where the Cherokee were driven
from Appalachia by presidential order of Andrew Jackson.
(may he rot in his Christian hell).
Several times during life crisis, I did attempt a return to
Christianity, to only be met with silence and confusion.
Only when I returned to the force the guided me, did
I find inner peace, happiness, and prosperity.
Now, I am guided by the traditions of the Tsalagi. The wolf
is my spirit and my power. I continue to explore and seek
out the ancient ways, which isn't easy. Most has been
polluted by the invasion of Christianity...
Yet I walk The Red Road...I seek out those like me, and
have found them, for we were scattered over a century
ago. The attempted genocide was a failure..
"Little did they know...we would survive...."
