My questions

[Goodbook]

isn't ivf and patches and implants and pills expensive? I don't think anyone answered that.

 

[puregrl]

Well - there is a couple of days, and then there is a couple of months, or years ....

That happens too.

at that point i would recommend seeing someone...ya.

 

[Goodbook]

Do you think God created this artificial birth control method only in the late twentieth century, to give women a reprieve or was it part of His plan for marrieds just to not have children intentionally?

I kind of wonder about that. I do know He can open and close a womb and there's nothing you can do about it. That's why babies are miracles.

 

[Goodbook]

Also women do get married later in life when maybe they have even stopped menstruating, so can't physically have children anyway.

 

[puregrl]

I don't think you really need to take your temperature and analyse everything unless you were that desperate to have a child and wanted everything so perfectly lined up that you would say 'right, now is the optimum time, lets do it'. I wouldn't go that far lol.

I think it just means certain times you abstain if you don't want children. Not rocket science.

Without tracking it, and being persistent and detailed...if your goal was to not have children then this method is not for you. If you dont know what is going on, then you will get pregnant. Abstaining when you are married and want to have sex is difficult. It is just simpler to have contraception.

 

[Dave-W]

at that point i would recommend seeing someone...ya.

We did.

"You have 4 children. I don't see any problem."

 

[puregrl]

Do you think God created this artificial birth control method only in the late twentieth century, to give women a reprieve or was it part of His plan for marrieds just to not have children intentionally?

I kind of wonder about that. I do know He can open and close a womb and there's nothing you can do about it. That's why babies are miracles.

There have been various methods of birth control around for centuries, they just improve with technology and science. I have no idea why things happen in the time frame they do. I just know that it is the right thing for my husband and I to use.

God does create miracles, each child is one. If God wants you to have a child, you will have one...period. I know a women with three children. One she had when she was on birth control, another when they used a condom.

God puts it in some couples hearts to not have children, like some people are created to be single. I believe that birth control helps with that.

 

[Dave-W]

Do you think God created this artificial birth control method only in the late twentieth century, to give women a reprieve or was it part of His plan for marrieds just to not have children intentionally?

It was men who created BC, not God. That is why many of the more classical churches like the Catholics and Orthodox are so opposed to it.

I will not presume on God's overall position on it. We prayed and both felt cleared to use it for us.

 

[puregrl]

We did.

"You have 4 children. I don't see any problem."

Sweet Lord thats what they said?!! Bad bad therapist! I am so very sorry for that encounter. There are better ones out there.

 

[Goodbook]

I do know couples that don't have children but not cos they deliberately don't want any its just they can't..but they foster or they work with children...I don't know any other reason they would not want any, aside from maybe if they were so involved with careers that it just wouldn't be any good for children to be born to them when all their attention is focussed on their careers.

But then I do think, well, why not just stay single and be friends or flatmates. But thats just me..I do think that, children shouldn't be dismissed as a nuisance in the marriage relationship or an extra expense. I had one high school friend who did always feel her parents didn't want her and thought she was just an extra mouth to feed. The way they acted around her. And they were BOTH doctors.

 

[Dave-W]

God does create miracles, each child is one. If God wants you to have a child, you will have one...period.

Indeed. On my dad's 3rd marriage, after their first child, she got a tubal ligation and he got a vasectomy. They STILL got pregnant once more with my youngest brother being born only a few months different than my first child.

 

[Goodbook]

Dave so what birth control method did you use, sorry I missed that bit. Also nobody has said how much it cost.

 

[Goodbook]

I just wonder if it's worth the bother. I mean the artificial methods.

Wouldn't it just be easier to say, no, not this time. In a few days.

 

[Goodbook]

surgery would be expensive.

 

[puregrl]

I do know couples that don't have children but not cos they deliberately don't want any its just they can't..but they foster or they work with children...I don't know any other reason they would not want any, aside from maybe if they were so involved with careers that it just wouldn't be any good for children to be born to them when all their attention is focussed on their careers.

But then I do think, well, why not just stay single and be friends or flatmates. But thats just me..I do think that, children shouldn't be dismissed as a nuisance in the marriage relationship or an extra expense. I had one high school friend who did always feel her parents didn't want her and thought she was just an extra mouth to feed. The way they acted around her. And they were BOTH doctors.

There is a number of reasons my husband and I have chosen to not have children. First, we got married in our late 20's. I had still not finished school. I am not 30, and am just beginning graduate school with the possibility of getting a PhD. So the first reason is that we are very career driven people. Second, I have anxiety, and being around children for an extended period of time increases that anxiety level more than two-fold. I just honestly cannot handle everything children put out. Also, I am not a baby person...never have been. I love kids over the age of 8 or so. I also have health problems that would make getting pregnant very complicated.

As I said before, the purpose of getting married is not to have children. It is to have someone to experience life with, it is about being with someone you love and want to be with for the rest of your life. It is about companionship, intimacy, having someone who is there for you no matter what. If a couple chooses to have children, then they do it out of love...not out of a requirement to have kids.

Having parents who are doctors is difficult. They stay very busy and have a difficult time making commitments due to their schedule. It is a very very stressful job. It could have been a number of factors, other than they did not want her, that played into how they acted.

 

[puregrl]

I just wonder if it's worth the bother. I mean the artificial methods.

Wouldn't it just be easier to say, no, not this time. In a few days.

If you have the self control and can say with 100% certainty that having sex on the other days will not get you pregnant, then sure...it would work. However, I am married, and if we want to have sex, we are going to do it. In my opinion, artificial methods are worth it. I think you are not getting prices because there are so many different methods, each with a variety of prices depending on where you go and your insurance. Like I said. I take the pill, it is free with my insurance. I have talked about having an implant, my insurance would pay for that. I have talked about having surgery, my insurance would cover that. There is just too many factors to give a cost. We do pay for condoms and use them regularly as a back up method. Quite effective!

 

[Dave-W]

Dave so what birth control method did you use, sorry I missed that bit. Also nobody has said how much it cost.

We used the diaphragm with a spermacide. Medical insurance paid for most of it.

After our 3rd pregnancy, DW was done with all that and wanted a Tubal. That was also covered by insurance. We just had a reasonable co-pay of a hundred $US or so.

 

[Dave-W]

Wouldn't it just be easier to say, no, not this time. In a few days.

If you have a high sex drive -not so much.

 

[Dave-W]

surgery would be expensive.

Not for us. Pregnancies 2 and 3 were Cesarean, since back then they insisted on a C section for every pregnancy AFTER having a C section. So she was opened up anyway, no big deal to just sew up the uterus, push back the abdominal skin and <snip> <snip> and it was done.

 

[Goodbook]

Ok maybe that was TMI

But thanks for responding.
I dont know about insurance do you both have insurance when you get married. What if you dont have insurance?! What would it cost if you didnt have insurance, roughly.