My questions

[puregrl]

Also isnt it in the bible not to sleep together when its that time of the month.

That had to do with being "unclean". It also mentions not touching a women, at all, or anything she has touched during that time. There is no effect on you or him when you have sex during that time of the month. You may have a decreased desire...hormones and all that...but this was one of those laws that were put away, so to speak, after the new covenant which came from Christs death on the cross.

 

[Dave-W]

Also isnt it in the bible not to sleep together when its that time of the month.

It is. But many insist that it is an OT command that is not applicable in the New Covenant.

 

[Dave-W]

There is no effect on you or him when you have sex during that time of the month. You may have a decreased desire...hormones and all that...

And some have INCREASED desire. Hormones and all that...

Some women find a good hard O will give relief from the cramps.

 

[puregrl]

Cant you just not sleep together if you dont want children?

Sorry..i dont really get it. Could you tell when you ovulating and then just say no. But then i suppose its hard to keep track, i mean i dont really have any idea when im ovulating or even a regular menstruation cycle all i know is when its that time of the month. I couldnt say well on day x is always when it starts. Its every month or so though but its not like clockwork.

There are couples in some cultures and groups who only have sex for the purpose of having children. I am not sure where you stand with that. But intimacy is very important in a successful marriage. The purpose of marriage is not to just procreate. If that were the case, we would marry any random person of the street who we deemed would provide a good child.
One of the birth control methods uses this method, it is called the fertility awareness method. It is very involved. However, when it is used correctly, and repeatedly, it can be quite effective. But it is difficult. Personally I dont want to, how do I put it...get that involved with by bodily functions. But it does work for some people.

 

[puregrl]

And some have INCREASED desire. Hormones and all that...

Some women find a good hard O will give relief from the cramps.

Some, yes. But it can also cause cramps. Its just different for different women. =)

 

[Goodbook]

hard O?
Sorry. Sounds messy...

I don't get cramps ever. Just tired.

 

[Goodbook]

There are couples in some cultures and groups who only have sex for the purpose of having children. I am not sure where you stand with that. But intimacy is very important in a successful marriage. The purpose of marriage is not to just procreate. If that were the case, we would marry any random person of the street who we deemed would provide a good child.
One of the birth control methods uses this method, it is called the fertility awareness method. It is very involved. However, when it is used correctly, and repeatedly, it can be quite effective. But it is difficult. Personally I dont want to, how do I put it...get that involved with by bodily functions. But it does work for some people.

You can still sleep together can't you? Just not have sex at that time. I mean presumably you both have self control.

 

[Goodbook]

I mean its not every single time you have sex that you will fall pregnant surely.

 

[Dave-W]

Its just different for different women. =)

Indeed.

 

[Goodbook]

hmm it seems to involve taking your temperature.

Well when you have your period you are pretty much involved with your bodily functions it would seems like ovulation isn't that much different.

I mean having a child is intimate experience anyway, from breastfeeding to the rest of it, so..if you having sex I would kind of think having a child would be the fruit of that labour so to speak and to be welcomed?

Or is it oh we just want the feeling of it.

 

[Dave-W]

hard O?

That is a very strong [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse].

Sorry. Sounds messy...

Yes, it can be messy. (anything sexual can be messy)

But "messy" can be part of the fun as well.

 

[Dave-W]

Well when you have your period you are pretty much involved with your bodily functions it would seems like ovulation isn't that much different.

For some. Like it was said: everyone is different. Some women claim they can actually FEEL the second they ovulate, and even know which side it came from.

But that is quite rare. And it takes being VERY aware of everything going on in your body.

 

[Goodbook]

Personally am not that keen on being close to anyone during my period. lol

I do think God put that in there for a reason. But then back in the day they didn't have bath or shower everyday it was before indoor plumbing I guess.

 

[Goodbook]

Well its just a matter of being aware, you sort of know when its a dry period and when its uh..moist. But only the wife would know its not like the husband can force his way in surely. He doesn't have a right to do that. If he did, he wouldn't be a very good husband.

 

[puregrl]

You can still sleep together can't you? Just not have sex at that time. I mean presumably you both have self control.

Oh yes, I would recommend sleeping in the same bed. Generally you dont have sex every night...though some may. And it really has nothing to do with self-control. Your married...want to have sex? do it, God made it for that. At that time it is more about being too tired, not in the mood, too busy...

hmm it seems to involve taking your temperature.

Well when you have your period you are pretty much involved with your bodily functions it would seems like ovulation isn't that much different.

I mean having a child is intimate experience anyway, from breastfeeding to the rest of it, so..if you having sex I would kind of think having a child would be the fruit of that labour so to speak and to be welcomed?

Or is it oh we just want the feeling of it.

That method is VERY involved! You are taking your temperature, you are checking the thickness of secretions, smells...and avoiding sex for certain days. You know when you are having your period...its quite obvious. Ovulation is not so obvious.

I am not totally sure what you are meaning with the last two sentences (about labor). Can you explain?

 

[Dave-W]

I mean its not every single time you have sex that you will fall pregnant surely.

For sure. It usually takes several months of trying before you have success. that is for an average woman in her 20s. It goes longer with age.

But of course some can get pregnant on their first shot, even using birth control. Everyone is different.

 

[Goodbook]

Actually I would call it rape if that happened. I suppose it might happen in a marriage but you'd hope not. If the wife says no, she means no. For a good reason. But since you married wouldn't you just wait a couple of days and then get back together. Its not like she's running out on you.

 

[puregrl]

Actually I would call it rape if that happened. I suppose it might happen in a marriage but you'd hope not. If the wife says no, she means no. For a good reason. But since you married wouldn't you just wait a couple of days and then get back together. Its not like she's running out on you.

If either partner says not now, then dont push it. End of story. That is a loving relationship. You do it when you both agree, at whatever point that is...be it an hour later or two days later.

 

[Dave-W]

But since you married wouldn't you just wait a couple of days and then get back together.

Well - there is a couple of days, and then there is a couple of months, or years ....

That happens too.

 

[Goodbook]

I don't think you really need to take your temperature and analyse everything unless you were that desperate to have a child and wanted everything so perfectly lined up that you would say 'right, now is the optimum time, lets do it'. I wouldn't go that far lol.

I think it just means certain times you abstain if you don't want children. Not rocket science.