• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

  2. The forums in the Christian Congregations category are now open only to Christian members. Please review our current Faith Groups list for information on which faith groups are considered to be Christian faiths. Christian members please remember to read the Statement of Purpose threads for each forum within Christian Congregations before posting in the forum.

Featured My heart is so hardened

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Invalidusername, Sep 2, 2018.

  1. Michael

    Michael Contributor Supporter

    +987
    Christian
    What you're feeling isn't unusual, it happens to us all sometimes. You might start by realizing and focusing on the fact that you're already forgiven, and God loves you dearly. He's never left you, although you may not feel his presence at the moment as much as you might have felt his presence in the past. That's not at all unusual by the way. It's a mental separation that you're feeling in the moment perhaps, but in truth God is within us all, and with us at all times. Just open up your heart and allow God's love to flow into you. Visualize God's presence entering you and filling you with each breath that you take. Meditate on that for awhile.

    I find that changing my routines, going out into nature, and doing service for others tends to make me feel whole again when I start to feel distant from God. Focusing on gratitude is also helpful when I'm feeling disconnected.

    God bless you.
     
  2. Bobber

    Bobber Well-Known Member

    +488
    Non-Denom
    That is what the devil will seek to do. And ask yourself this question. If it were truly over with no possibility of being restored to God why would you think the devil would be wasting his time trying to discourage you from coming back? I mean if it's all over for let's call them Person A, then his forces of darkness would run over to the next person. They don't however for they know though your sins were as scarlet God is willing to make them white as snow though your sins be as crimson he'll make you righteous as wool. (see Is 1:18)

    Absolutely right! Just a word of encouragement if you're open to people who say God inspired them to say something. As I was just reading your last sentence and in my background I'm listening to a Bible movie, called "Peter and Paul" Right when I read your last statement the following line from the movie came over my speakers where Peter is telling Paul about what Jesus said, when he asked the Lord how many times should I forgive my brother....Seven times? Jesus said not just seven times but seventy times seven. Matt 18:21

    In other words always keep forgiving because you know what....That's the way the Lord is willing to be for us. So here's a question....do you think God would tell us to do something he wasn't willing to do? If someone sinned against you multiple times and God says keep forgiving do you think again he would tell us to do something he's not willing to do?

    Of course not. Hearing this as in right now, I feel inspired as to tell you that's what the Lord would say to you! He's more than willing to forgive you and to everyone else on this thread which feels similar despair. God doesn't tell us to do one thing and he does another. The Lord delights in mercy! Micah 7:18 Fear not and take heart! :oldthumbsup:
     
  3. Bobber

    Bobber Well-Known Member

    +488
    Non-Denom
    Well when I say prayer understand I'm putting in their Praise and worship and singing to him for that is a communication with God. Let me share with you what I do and I'm not saying you have to absolutely duplicate my pattern but it might serve to you as an idea.

    I take about 20 minutes or so worshiping God in song. Before beginning I'll pray something like, "Dear Father God in Jesus name I thank you for this day...this is day the Lord has made AND I WILL REJOICE and be glad. You have done so much for me... I say you have taken all my sins away by your precious blood! Spirit mind and body I declare I am set free from the power of the enemy (Satan) and I'm translated into the Kingdom of Light, Life and Love which is the Kingdom of God's dear Son. You've invited me to come BOLDLY to the throne of grace that I might find grace and mercy to help in time of need and I praise you that is your desire for me. (I'll say maybe other things of praise as well) I do enter your gates with thanksgiving Lord and I enter your gates with praise and I worship you in and through the Name of Jesus. (I 'll then worship with songs, and I personalize the words....not songs about God...but songs to God)

    I don't usually share this but here's a list of songs I worship towards God with and you might remember the melodies from their titles. I'll take each one of these songs but I only sing each one about 1-2 minutes. They all have different melodies so one doesn't get bored,

    God You're So Good...Your Loving kindness....Be Glorified.... You Are My Peace.... It Is A Good Thing, This Is My Commandment...I Cast All My Cares....I Love To Praise You....I Lift Up Holy Hands....I Am A New Creation....You Joy Is My Strength.....Greater Are You Lord For You're In Me.....I Will Sing Unto You Lord.....I Seek First.....Soon And Very Soon.....What A Friend I Have In You Lord......I Do Enter You Gates....In You I Live And Move and Have My Being (((You may not know any of these melodies or lyrics but you can get them on line or you can develop your own worship song base)))

    I will say this though....whatever songs you use try to personalize them ....instead of singing...God Is So Good, sing God You're So Good. The thing is if you truly believed God is listening to you you would automatically change the words even without being told to. That's not to say singing songs about God isn't good. It is but that's more so for bringing exhortation and encouragement to a group in front of you. If you do compile this list of your own of songs don't worry that you have to repeat every word that would be in a song....I only spend about a minute or so on each one.

    After singing I boldly declare again things that he's said I am In Christ Jesus YES whether I feel like it or not for a few minutes. Well all of the above might take 20 minutes or 30 and then it's time to feed my spirit....which means read the Bible or yes even at times some good teaching book from a good teacher. To keep my focus nearly all the time I will read it out loud on the digital recorder just to pace myself, not to mention after a period of time you can have the whole Bible recorded and listen to it while relaxing. I turn them on beside my bed at night too and can't tell you how many times I've had dreams of someone reading the scriptures. But you're reading of the WORD can go for 20 or 30 minutes so with your beginning prayer, and praise and worship and WORD being read....there's about an hour right there.

    You recall we said people think nothing of watching 2-3 hours of television a day? Well you can do anything I mentioned and repeat them. You could listen to the Bible, or a good Bible teacher you like say for 20 minutes in the morning....20 in the afternoon.....20 at night...there's an hour of just WORD or God's thoughts going in you. And then add in your worship. Well you could say that's an hour and a half or two hours. My point is there isn't some legalistic formula of setting your clock of OK I've got another 7 minutes to go....No....it just gives you a general idea and the minutes or times or hours might vary from day to day.

    I understand as well people's lives are different. Some have kids and a family they need to take care of and work schedules can be difficult to pattern exactly what I've shared. The thing is though....let's not kid ourselves which really is deceiving ourselves that OH YEAH I've sought God.....or built myself up strong enough in the Spirit with a 5-10 minutes a day and that same person allows the world of secular things (entertainment) to get 2-3 hours. (and I'm not saying that's been your thinking my dear reader) but that is the way that some people think. I know because I've talked to many.

    God is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him and he's not trying to be hard by saying that statement but it takes a certain measure and thrust of the word going in one to even have spiritual strength. Jesus said can you not watch with me one hour? And keep in mind that's not something we have to do but rather something we get to do. It's not a drudgery. It truly does become a joy!
     
  4. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Hey fellow servant, I think I am currently struggling from the same thing, and I recommend this thing that you can find in youtube, "I can't repent" by Ichabod Spencer it can be a great help and may just point out the mistakes we both might be making. I feel like my heart is hardened and can't repent, but the audio makes a very great point.
     
  5. Bobber

    Bobber Well-Known Member

    +488
    Non-Denom
    Alright now I just listened to this video. Very good. So when my friend are you going to cross the line and make the decision once and for all that it's not just that Spencer may have made a good point BUT that he did! Now is the day of salvation. Now is the day of restoration.
     
  6. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    And also I think I was able to feel something, and I think it was the Holy Spirit putting the fear of the Lord back in me, now I noticed one mistake I probably have been making this whole time, it was that I was "trying" to feel broken when I actually couldn't because I was so hardened, as if I totally quench the spirit of GOD, it was a hard fought battle, and I still haven't fully recovered, and even now I struggle to credit the Holy Spirit for keeping me because it just doesn't feel like it was him who was keeping me this whole time, now the reason most likely is that it's because I was "trying" to feel godly sorrows when I'm supposed to rely on GOD himself to give me the godly sorrow I need that leads to repentance, I became stuck in my own ways of repenting that I actually forgot to rely on the works of Christ on the cross, that literally trusting him would make things way better, I was growing weary, because I could not carry the weight of my hardened heart, I just simply wanted to "feel" again, but I wanted it so bad that I didn't even think about the best and probably the most basic answer to my problem, which is to have FAITH in the works of GOD on the cross. I also suggest to you to install this app called "I'll be honest" and subscribe to their chanel on youtube because you will find out what coming christ means and teach you things about repentance. BROTHER, I feel good that you haven't quit on him and left the faith, yes feelings are great, but it's definitely true that having faith is not mainly about feelings but trusting in GOD even if we feel hopeless.
     
  7. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    As Jesus said in matthew
     
  8. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
     
  9. Invalidusername

    Invalidusername Well-Known Member

    +576
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    Hello Kiko. I think you're alright and haven't lost the Spirit.

    I still don't know about me. I am waiting on the Lord. I don't know if it's possible to be restored but that was the risk I took by sinning after being born again. I didn't really understand that there was a point that you can cross where there's no coming back but that was the risk I took.

    I can't even feel love for others and the fruits of the Holy Spirit include love.

    I have completely lost all spiritual awareness and discernment. It's bad.
     
  10. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Totally feels like you don't have convictions anymore does it?? Totally feels like you don't love GOD anymore, but you know what, I think I felt the same way, but what your problem might be is pride, just like what I discovered about myself, I remember trying to "feel" godly sorrow just so I could properly repent and grieve over my sins but I just could not even muster up sorrows that leads to repentance, the problem is that I kept looking at myself, about how I felt, about how my heart is so hardened that there may be a point of no return for me, true there comes a point of no return, but here's the thing, I get the fact that having an affection for GOD is a good thing, probably one of the most important aspects, but don't ever forget the most important of all, the works of Christ on the cross, his love for you never depends on how hard your heart is, in fact, he even died for you so you can have a soft heart, though you may have quenched the spirit, I suspect I may have also done the same thing, but maybe not totally in a sense where we basiccally reject him, but we know we don't, why? Because we want him back, and I don't even think I have fully recovered yet, but I found new strength in the works of CHRIST, on the CROSS, that I don't have to try "feel" anymore on my own, Philippians 1:6 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Believe this, if by the grace of GOD you are still able to hold on to this despite how you feel, then that is a good sign, my fellow servant, the very fact that you have not denied christ in your heart is a sign that you have not committed the unpardonable sin, you may have quenched the spirit, but stop looking at your heart, saying "I can't repent", though you may not feel as if your heart has softened, doesn't mean it's over, I think I did ask GOD something about softening my heart, or answering my prayer about rekindling my heart, even I have confested to him what I have done, though in my confession, I didn't feel much change, I confested anyway, brother I was losing hope, faith was my only last option which I chose but still didn't feel softened, then later on I saw this audio clip about Ichabod Spencer "I can't repent" you can search it up on youtube, and you can also install an app called I'll be honest and find it on their app or their youtube channel, but in the audio, I think Spencer does highlight the fact that we try to look presentable "enough" to GOD, we try to be broken "enough" and very possibly that both of us were trying to feel broken "enough" to feel godly sorrows that leads to repentance but we couldn't do it, we try to feel "enough" and when we feel the brokeness, we offer our broken hearts to GOD, but this time, for both of us it didn't work, why do you think that is? Why? Why won't GOD give me feelings so I could feel broken and offer my heart to him? My friend, I think it's good and that we should we give our hearts to GOD, that we offer ourselves to him, and submit to him, but the offering for our sins is probably not our hearts, nor our own efforts to repent, nor our strength to feel broken enough, nor our own works, my friend, let me tell you this, the offering for our sins was done by GOD himself on the cross around 2000 years ago, someone told me this, I guess what the lady to me was saying was back in the old testament, the priest would have a goat, or a lamb as a sacrifice and offerings for our sins, but the priest would try to inspect if the lamb had spots on it or if it was spotless, and if it was spotless then it's good for sacrifice, but notice that the sacrifice was supposed to be a spotless lamb, notice that what the priest inspects or checks is the lamb, not our sins, not our hearts, and same thing for what GOD did on the cross, he had a spotless lamb, he wasn't looking at your heart for a sacrifice, he already had a perfect and a spotless sacrifice that he offered for our sins, the offering is CHRIST, he sacrifices a spotless lamb to cover our sins, so my advice is to look and inspect the lamb, which is CHRIST, not your hearts, I tell you this though I have not fully recovered, my friend though it is good to test our own faith like what the bible says in 2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" we don't want to do it to the point where we basically forget to look to Christ, testing our hearts is good, and if we fail the test, then look to Christ for help, and not despair because of the hardness and ugliness of our hearts and sins. I really encourage you to search up on youtube " I can't repent" by Ichabod Spencer, I think the audio does points out that people like us are not necessarily struggling with not being able to repent, but that we are prideful, we think we must muster up the strength to be broken, we think we must put enough effort, you may have forgotten this because of your backsliding, but having a relationship with Christ is not about being broken "enough" or feeling "enough" or working "enough" stop trying and start resting on the works of CHRIST, Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Let us both stop carrying the weight of our hardened and stony hearts because of our backslidings, but let us learn to be humble and recognize the fact that we will fail if we keep doing it ourselves, "come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest", we both won't be able to feel something for GOD without his power, but the reason why we probably can't even muster up strength to feel much sorrow for our sins or much desire for him is because we try to do it ourselves, and he may have thought something like "it's good that you won't feel this tenderness on your own strength and recognize your failure so that you would trust on my strength and on my works on the cross", you are prideful for thinking that you could just muster it up like before, maybe because you thought it was you who softened your heart the whole time, true you did backslide which displeases him, but he can also do a work in you by making you feel this way as he may have done for me, that we would both recognize this other area of our life, namely how we repent, we both thought GOD would be available later, so we sinned, we both thought we could feel him again, and we find ourselves unable to "feel" and worried that we have sinned to the point of no return, we seek repentance thinking we could not find it because we feel hardened, but maybe it's not even that we could not find repentance, but that we are seeking it in the wrong way, this hardened feeling of our hearts may just be a lesson from GOD to look to him and not on our own hearts, because we mock him everytime we time we strive on our own to repent, and not rely on his works on the cross, my friend, do you want those sensations back? Do you long for his rest again? The Joy you may have once felt, do you miss the strokes of his love, his fire around your heart that kept you warmth and tender, my friend what else makes you think I don't struggle with the same thing as you do? Even as I tell you this, I don't think I have fully recovered, but now I know that I have a GOD to fully rely on rekindling my heart for him, I have a GOD who died for me, if you recognize that you are tempted to despair and lose all hope, or tempted to rely on your strength to muster up the tenderness instead of relying on his spirit, then remember this, 1 corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." Your heart is so prideful you think you were the only one suffering from this kind of problem, the devil temps you into thinking that you're alone and that no one understand you, I think I do understand your case, I was having a hard time looking for people online who have recovered from this kind of stuff, and I may have found people but not 100% sure if they experienced the same thing, but a lot of times I would get a lot of advices on how to soften my hardened heart, but I guess I still wasn't sure if they could relate to me, but here I am, still in the process of recovery, but haven't fully recovered, I think GOD did turn my searching of "who can understand me and help me" into a healing so that if ever I come across such people, then i'll be able to relate to them and help them. And listen to Ichabod Spencer, please do it.
     
  11. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    If you want you heart to be softened again, then rest on JESUS and his works on the cross, and you should also try to soak in his words but not just read them but also have faith in them.
     
  12. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Ask youself this, are still able to by the grace of GOD believe and hold on to his promises just as you are, with a hardened heart? If so, then that's a good sign, we probably both know that the christian life is not just having intellectual knowledge about GOD but that there are also experinces and affections for GOD, but we get so attached on to feelings so much that we basically depend our faith on our feelings, and when we know we may have sinned, we try to muster up a feeling, to make us feel better when it comes to recieving forgiveness, yes there is such thing as a godly sorrow that leads to repentance which the bible talks about, which is what we are probably trying to achieve when we try to muster up feelings and sadness because of our sins, and one day, we hardened our hearts so bad, we noticed that we can't even do it anymore, but you know what I found out, that trusting in Christ does gives me peace, and rest, he may have not fully softened my heart yet, but having an assurance in him for me is enough, trusting that he would restore my heart again is such a good thing because he gives me rest by giving me his words and by giving me enough grace so I can have the ability to have faith in his works on the cross despite how I feel. Yes we do have to repent of backslidings, but we also have to repent of the way we repented before, namely trying to rely on our strength to muster up sorrows for our sin, when it was the Holy Spirit himself making us tender, not our own strength.
     
  13. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Ichabod Spencer "I can't repent"
    Search it up, O also recomend downloading I'll be honest
     
  14. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    I recommend this, "isn't the joy centered lif just an emotional roller coaster" -desiring god
     
  15. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    If you are not satisfied with a hardened heart, and that you are longing for a softened, tender, joyful heart, then that could be a good sign that you're a born again person, it could very well mean that even though your heart is hardened, or unhappy because you don't feel joy, or unsatisfied that your heart is not tender, then it shows that you are longing for a life satistied in GOD, a heart that desires him, and you are longing for it because you have tasted his goodness, the delights, and things like that, but the one mistake you might be making is that you think you could muster it all up by yourself and so you try, then you find yourself failing, I suggest you don't do it by yourself, look at the cross, and ask yourself if you see Christ's love for you. Not your heart, if you look at your heart, then the only thing you might see is if you love GOD or not, but look to the cross, and you'll see that GOD loves you.
     
  16. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    John 6:37
    "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out." If you come to Christ just as you are, then he will not cast you out
     
  17. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    Also it is impossible for you to become an unborn christian after you have been born again, it just lies on wether or not you are a true born again christian or not, one person can have spiritual highs or experiences but have never even been a true born again christians, one thing I know is that genuine born again christians do not quit or fall away even after they have sinned, but that is not to say they can just abuse GOD's grace which we both did, but we both know it's wrong and the best thing we can do is to keep asking GOD and trusting him, we can be unhappy about what happened but we should not despair, we should long for a joyful tender heart for GOD but we should not despair just because we can't get it yet, it seems that you haven't quit on christ though you may feel hopeless, and if you don't hate GOD, even though you don't feel love for him, and if you are longing for his Joy, the ask him and keep asking, ask for his Holy Spirit to rekindle your heart again. Keep crying to him, but don't despair. Keep asking him, read the parable of the widow in the book of Luke, and read this verse as well Luke 11:13 "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
     
  18. Invalidusername

    Invalidusername Well-Known Member

    +576
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    I know for a fact that I was truly born again but I don't know if I believe in OSAS or calvinism.

    Right now I just have no emotions. Like I can't respond to things emotionally. I'm completely dead on the inside.
     
  19. Kiko777

    Kiko777 New Member

    29
    +1
    Canada
    Christian
    Single
    The thing is, we're probably the same, I don't even know if I have fully recovered yet, right now what keeps me alive and at rest is having faith in the works of Christ and faith on his words because they don't depend on my emotions, they depend on his love alone, right now you may feel dead, hardened, but are you trusting his words, go get some rest in his words, have faith despite how you feel,
    Dialogue with someone who wonders if he's really saved. | CARM.org
    -go to this website please, it can be a big help.
     
  20. Invalidusername

    Invalidusername Well-Known Member

    +576
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    US-Republican
    Thanks. Appreciate it. Honestly I might just have a mental illness. It's not normal for people to lose their emotions like I did. Even if I was an apostate it shouldn't impact my feelings.
     
Loading...